oedipus was the first motherfucker

if you see hardware on yhe ground like a washer or a hex nut you have to pick it up because it’s lonely and scared. if you see any metal on the ground you have to pick it up because it’s alone and scared and lonely.

nodding my head to show that i approve of all the shitty things this character has done because i'm a bad person

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progressive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich

Sweets and treats are all the nutrients a princess needs

why does oscar wilde take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph

gay

compelling argument

what does this say about victor hugo

no he was just french

R.R Tolkien?

autistic infodumping

Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an autistic gay Frenchman would be. :p

cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant

i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.

Must not pick that scab off. It will not in fact get rid of the scab and just create a different scab. The scab is not done cooking yet. I am completely normal about scabs. <-gripping the edges of his chair so tightly the wood is starting to crack

police departments love to be like "we need more money to fight all the crime that's been happening lately" and they show a graph with crime going up at then you look into the numbers and it's like "the ten percent increase in crime was correlated with a ten percent increase in active policing hours" and it's like oh okay so the crime factory needs more money because the crime factory stayed open late to manufacture more crime in order to convince us to give more money to the crime factory. Where can I get off this carousel of misery?