oedipus was the first motherfucker

trying to explain why i like horror to people who don’t: ok so you know how it’s fun to be deeply disturbed and unsettled

whatever man *walks outside of your render distance*

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

yuo cant say this during plague month

pride month. pharohs curse got me

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

i'm sorry i wiggled your skinny boyfriend like a sheet of metal. weeop womp weeoop womp weeeoop womp