Spacing Out

Waking up way earlier than usual today…

me: reblogs anything

Spaghetti is the opposite of spinach.

OH I GET IT NOW.

one time a dude came into the pet store I worked at and bought nine dollars worth of dog treats with a 100 dollar bill that had clearly been made from green construction paper. when I hesitated and ran it through all the methods of testing we had (it failed all of them) he asked for my manager. she had been shitty with me all morning, and came to the register in a huff, grabbed it from me, slammed it in the register and told me to “just do my job.” this dude and I are looking at each other, both of us 100% aware that he’s getting 90 dollars from me in exchange for a piece of construction paper that had been cut a little crooked, and he’s just smiling at me and I’m standing there, overworked and tired, getting paid minimum wage, which, it turns out, is not enough to speak up any further, so I just said fuck it. When I got to work the next day there were cops there to inform us we were the fourth or fifth shop on the road to get hit by the same guy. My manager was going HOGWILD. I just looked at her like

5yo a: I found yellow pelican feather

yesterday's philosiphical conversation was:

i saw the velmas in front of my store yesterday!! at first i saw 1 velma and thought “aww, a friend group is dressed as the mystery gang” until an entire pack of velmas following and absolutely lost it.

Tits or ass?