Hello, I just found something really important if you’re chronically ill/disabled.
I’ve had to contact the crisis line before— both the phone hotline and through text. Whenever my struggles also had to deal with chronic pain or my disabilities, I would always hear the, “You’re so brave!” Or, “You’re such an inspiration.”
And we all know how that is.
While lying on a heating pad and being able to relax because to medicine, I finally got hit with the idea to search “Chronic pain text line” on Google. I found one that is ran by disabled people. This is located in the US, and I’m not sure if there are ones in different countries.
Replies won’t be immediate as there are certain windows of time (based on your location) that responders will be available, but you can easily check the calendar to see what times you’d be able to connect with someone.
If you’re interested, you can text CARE to
+1 (202) 596-6520
It’s for every disabled person, those diagnosed, those undiagnosed, and anyone who needs support.
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Things Your Fat Partner Might Want You to Know: A Letter to Skinny Partners
(This post contains thoughts and opinions that are influenced by my perspective. The content of this post is not reflective of all fat individuals and should not be assumed as such. Approach with caution.)
When you're leading your partner somewhere, it can feel humiliating for them to try to squeeze through the same tight places that may be easy for you to walk through. Please make sure your path is wide enough for your partner to follow without worrying about whether they fit.
Being bigger than your partner means that your clothes will often be shared with them but not the other way around. Make your partner feel special by giving them something of yours that isn't restricted by size (jewelry, bandanas, blankets, stuffed animals, etc.).
On the same note, if possible, keep clothes in their size in case of unexpected overnights or emergencies!
Don't assume your partner knows you love their fat body. When being told they are attractive, fat people often hear they are beautiful despite being fat, not because they are fat. Have a conversation with your partner about whether they are okay with specific parts of their body being complimented (stomach, thighs, arms, etc.) and tell them how much you love their body.
Eating around others can be a huge trigger for many fat people. If necessary, make sure your partner feels comfortable and safe when you ask them on a date involving food. Reassure your partner them that what/how much they eat isn't an issue and that it is a judgement free zone. Fat people are often judged no matter what they are eating, so please make this a safe space for them and show your support.
Understand that your fat partner may be restricted in doing certain physical activities. Make sure that they feel comfortable and are going at a pace that works for both of you. Make accommodations when necessary.
Being fat can come with a lot of physical discomfort and pain. Offer your partner massages, powder, lotion, and other forms of support to help them feel comfortable.
Overall, your fat partner is a unique individual. They may agree with everything on this list or absolutely nothing. Have the conversation with them to ensure that their needs are being met, that they feel comfortable, and that they feel loved.
To everyone reading this who is a skinny partner to a fat person, thank you for taking the time to read this post.
disabled people's privacy also extends to other disabled people. like you might also be disabled but asking a stranger who uses crutches why they use them isn't wildly different from an abled person asking that. commenting on someone's wheelchair can still be insensitive if you're also disabled. and sharing the fact that you're disabled and have health problems doesn't mean someone else has to reciprocate. sometimes disabled people don't want to be singled out for what immediately sets them apart from everyone else, no matter who is doing that or what their intentions are
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auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"
[ID: Janice, a brazilian artist, drifting in the street with their wheelchair, with sparks flying out behind them and a whole rig of speakers modded onto the chair. The back of the chair says "Chillwave cripple punk". They're in a brown halterneck and ripped jeans, with braids and metal pieces attached like arm braces. /end ID]
Important to me that people who need image IDs also know that the braids are dyed BRIGHT red (with dark roots) and have awesome big-ass wooden beads in them and that the artist is covered in tattoos and that the halterneck has GIANT metal buckles and chains on it and that the chair itself has a couple screens on it, most notably a miniature CRT monitor in the spot behind the legs, and that there are speakers EMBEDDED INTO THE SIDES OF THE WHEELS.
This is the most punk thing I’ve EVER SEEN. I’m obsessed with this.
“Doctor” is actually an elongation of the acronym DOC, which stands for “dread of cripples” and is indicative of the fraught relationship between disabled people and self-aggrandizing medical professionals
Hey, so I really don’t like doing this but I’m really struggling because I now have to get a ton of dental work that my insurance doesn’t cover any of it and I need to get it done.
I plan on selling a lot of my stuff to help cover it
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my disability does not make me a lesser partner. i am sexy, desirable and important as i am. i do not need to compensate for my physical condition. someone will love and appreciate all of me. and until then, i will be loving and appreciating myself. amen !
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(images depict a comic. the panels are as follows:
Panel one: "HARD TO LOVE" simple drawing of a cat curled up on a cane "DISABILITY AND CATS"
Panel two: "SOMETIMES, I THINK I'M HARD TO LOVE" drawing of a person with shortish hair sitting on the ground facing away from the viewer "MY BODY DOESN'T WORK LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED TO"
Panel three: drawing of the same person hunched over what looks like maybe a calendar with their head in their hand and question marks over their head "I FORGET THINGS" "I MOVE SLOW" drawing of the same person walking with a bag and a cane. Drawing of the same person hunched over to grab something off the floor with their hand on their back and lines indicating pain coming off of them "IT HURTS TO DO THINGS MOST PEOPLE DO EASILY"
Panel four: "MY CAT'S BODY ALSO DOESN'T WORK LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED TO" drawing of a cat with part of one ear missing sitting up and looking at the viewer
Panel five: "HE DOESN'T REMEMBER THINGS" Drawing of the same cat looking at the ground with question marks over his head indicating confusion with what looks like a food bowl in the background. I think this is meant to be the cat having trouble finding the food bowl. Drawing of the same cat falling gracelessly on his face. "HE'S CLUMSY" "HE CAN'T DO THINGS THAT OTHER CATS CAN DO" drawing of the same cat stretching up towards what looks like a counter. I think this is meant to be the cat having trouble getting up on to the counter.
Panel six: "AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH" drawing of the person holding the cat up, touching their faces together. there is a heart symbol above their heads likely indicating fondness, affection, or love
Panel seven: "SO MAYBE" drawing of the person with the cat in their lap, petting him, facing the viewer this time "IT'S NOT TOO HARD TO LOVE ME"
I needed this today- as someone with both narcolepsy and fibromyalgia, I forget things all the time and I’ve been dealing with a flare for the past two months that only recently improved. It’s hard to love yourself or see yourself as lovable when you feel so broken.
