you could make an au outta this

can't cum unless x is involved in sex

get incredibly horny and aroused when x IS involved in sex

don't find interest in sex if x is not involved in some way shape or form

then congratulations, you have a fetish!! and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! fetish isnt a bad or ugly thing, it's just something that's a part of your sexuality, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Turns out you can roll a 7 on a d6

can't cum unless x is involved in sex

get incredibly horny and aroused when x IS involved in sex

don't find interest in sex if x is not involved in some way shape or form

then congratulations, you have a fetish!! and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! fetish isnt a bad or ugly thing, it's just something that's a part of your sexuality, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

IF BUYING ISN'T OWNING

PIRATING ISN'T STEALING

Anyway.

It has been very pleasant out. We had the windows cracked and left them cracked when we went to work. This has never been an issue before.

My darling spouse was working on a job in a small town about a mile from our place. He was getting some stuff from the work van when he sees a large white dog prancing along.

"Huh." He thinks. "That looks an awful lot like.....TYR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE."

Tyr, delighted that she has Found Father, bounds up happily and gets in the work van to give face kisses.

"GIRL NO WHAT." Kev says, scrambling to go let the client know that he has to take the fucking criminal back home real quick.

Turns out she discovered that a window can be shoved open with a determined snoot, and a window screen is not as strong as 80 pounds of muscular dog. And went for an adventure.

I got a call at this point while I was doing payroll.

"BABE WE NEED TO BABY GATE ALL THE FUCKING WINDOWS." My spouse says.

"....okay??" I say, and then get the story. I swore a bunch.

Private Equity: Pestilence (they are parasites that voraciously strip the value out of a healthy business until it withers and dies)

Workforce Optimization: Famine (cutting hours and employees until the business is starved of staff, barely functioning)