The Best Text Posts of Tumblr

dune part two did the impossible. it made people write smut about a bald person

relationship goal: a relationship

i have to tell you something that will lower your entire opinion of me

when i was 12 i made flyers for my fanfiction and handed them out a train station

im blown away by the sheer confidence this act required. if anything my opinion has been raised. the poise. the fearlessness. the laughing in the face of death. i’m speechless

Don't👏Watch👏Phantom👏Of👏The👏Opera👏If👏You👏Aren't👏Ugly👏And👏Live👏In👏The👏Basement

cats are like. i am very small and have cute little triangle ears. also locking me out of the bathroom is a hate crime

No offense but I hate it when people sit down next to me to smoke…like sweetie…I was here breathin…

i will stay alive as performance art

only the true king could remove the sword from the stone…. no one else could…… they didn’t have…. arthurization

Drove my first riding lawn mower today! I’d love to say I also mowed my lawn but as it turns out, if you don’t lower the blade, you’re just driving circles around your house for two and a half hours for no reason! What a day!