things

I am asking myself why should I keep on living. Is it worth it anymore? Am I worth it? Will I ever change? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? I only see darkness and the bad in everything. I want to be able to see the good in a bad situation, to put a smile on my face and mean it. Life doesn't seem real anymore because everything is going wrong all at the same time. To feel the joy of being alive and not have tears in my eyes is all I want right now. I need a friend but most of all I need a reason to live.

When alone what can I possibly do.

I just want to be okay. Able to live day to day. Wish I could put a smile on my face. It always fades away. What will it take to be okay? When you don't want to live for the day. I feel so broken and beaten down. I've been made to be the clown. A joke is all I am, to all my family and friends. How can I be okay with that? Just a glimpse of happiness would be nice. But misery is my company and here to stay. One day I hope to be okay.