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@thearovolution
loving the way time and context has turned dracula into a comedy

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I remember a teacher telling me how Archaeologists would hack off the noses of statues they found in order to remove any indication that it was of a black person or any POC. It hurts me to think of all the art weâve lost and damaged because of historical revisionism and flat out racism.
IâŚwasnât taught this. Only about penises being broken off as censorship.
When I was in primary school (around 8 or 9) I asked why none of the Egyptian statues had noses. They lied to us and said that they broke off because they were a really fragile bit of the statues so when I learnt the real reason (years later) I was so pissed off with teachers for lying to millions of school children around the world. Itâs disgusting and needs to be taught properly.
Apparently it has to be said? If an alloaro is expressing their frustrations with the asexual community for being ignored, pushed aside, and demonized... it does not mean they hate asexuals. One can voice criticisms with a community while still loving and supporting the individuals inside of it. Just because Iâm nonbinary and have expressed my distaste of a rigid gender binary doesnât mean I hate binary trans people?? Alloaros are not trying to âdivideâ the aro community or push aroaces out of it just because theyâre expressing their hurt with how theyâve been treated by the general aspec community... As an alloaro I love my aroace siblings and the fact that they think I could ever hate them just because of the effect of amatonormativity on the general asexual community is frankly repulsive. We are the aro community. All of us.
let me get emotional for a second:
ever since eight grade me realized a monogamous alloromantic relationship was not her thing and would never be her thing, i was hopeless. i looked at my boundary issues, my mental illness, my arospec identity, my s*xual trauma and saw nothing else. i looked at myself and saw someone too complicated, too sensitive, too weak, too flaky to love. never, never would i have guessed that five years later id be in a happy healthy relationship! and i still am arospec, mentally ill, traumatized. an maybe i am hard to love for some. maybe we all are. but there will always be people to whom loving you will come as naturally as breathing. who will look at you and respect your identity, be cautious with your boundaries, be patient with your trauma responses. love and being loved is not about reaching a standard of "normal" that's lovable. it's a game of chance of finding people who love you regardless. in whatever you are comfortable with. you are not "hard too love", you wont be alone forever, your needs and boundaries are not a burden to others. the universe wants you here and she wants to see you happy.

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Reblog if you support asexuals and arenât a COWARD
RB if your blog is a safe, accepting space for asexuals!
One reason that I am so passionate about aromantic and asexual people being included in discussions about the queer community is because we are so few in number.
It is so gosh darn difficult to find other ace and aro people irl. Weâre a small community that mostly connects through the internet because we are a small percentage of the population and not that many people know about us yet. So, most of the support we get irl is from gay, bi/pan, and trans people. Not other ace and aro people.
I have two irl asexual friends now, but for the first six years I was out as ace I had none. Maybe an online person here or there, but no physical presence. Nobody to eat lunch with or vent to or hug when things got bad. Instead, the support I got was from my gay and bi friends. They supported me, and I supported them in return. The very first person I ever came out as asexual to was a gay guy I was friends with at the time.
He was there for me and I was there for him in return. He was relieved to find out I was ace actually, because that made me another queer person he could talk to. And soon after I connected with several bi and pan people at my high school. We were able to stand up for each other, get things done, relate to each other.
Including ace and aro people in the queer community means giving ace and aro people a support system. A safe space. An opportunity to relate and be related to. To love and be loved. To protect and be protected. When youâre already included by default itâs easy to sit in your leather wing backed chair in your ivory tower and say âWell these people should just form their own community.â but in reality that just doesnât work.
Ace and aro people will always have their own community, yes. But also lesbians will have their own community. Trans people will have their own community. Gay men will have their own community, bi people, pan people, non binary people, the list goes on. But all the people in those communities can form one super group that relates, that supports each other. That unites under the umbrella of ânot totally cis and hetero at the same timeâ.
Itâs a support system that ace and aro people desperately need. We have bad and good experiences because of our orientation, many of which other queer people can relate to. We see the rest of the community and go âSame hat!!!â and feel a little less alone. And yeah. That includes heteroromantic aces and heterosexual aros. They need that support too, because believe it or not, heteronormative society isnât kind to them either. They understand a lot more than you think. Theyâre not trying to join because itâs trendy. They get that same hat feeling just like you and I.
Donât be rude in the notes please. I wonât be debating.
THIS THIS THIS THIS
Erasing the existence of aces of color and saying that all ace people are white or that asexuality is a âwhite people thingâ is not discourse babey its racism and you really are not being as much of a progressive activist as you think you are being
so I've been thinking and feeling a lot of new things or thinking about known feelings in new ways. and I've come to the conclusion that i can have very intense feelings for people and sometime i do desire the same things alloro people want from a romantic partner. and to outsiders my relarionships can look like romantic ones. and maybe if someone else was feeling this, they'd call it "being in love". but I'm me, and i like this feeling, but i hate that term. i dont want words connected to romantic relationships used to describe me. and maybe that's aro enough for me to be me.

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Grey aces and grey aros are a gift to this world and anyone who says differently is wrong.
there is most definitely room to criticize the societal expectations surrounding romance, but please keep in mind that romance itself.. makes some people happy, even within the arospec community. if its not for you, that absolutely should be respected, but so should whatâs important to those around you.
âgay couples should be allowed to show affection/pda/kiss at prideâ and âkink doesnât belong at pride, especially not events with minorsâ are not contradictory statements and idk why yâall think they are
sex/sexuality have historically been a part of the lgbt movement and a gay couple kissing is a revolutionary form of protest because of how our sexuality has been criminalized in the past (and present). yâall equating a lesbian couple sharing one kiss in public to someone turning up to pride in a gag and harness is literally employing the same rhetoric used by homophobes to criminalize gay sexuality
and i want to make it 100% clear when i say âkink doesnât belong at prideâ i am referring to the fact that kinksters are not inherently lgbt or part of the ~~queer community~~. you can be lgbt and into kink and you can be cishet and into kink. in no universe is kink equivalent to being gay/trans and being into kink does not make you queer
i just wish,,,, i just wish someone would understand that telling arospec people they're in love when they keep telling you they aren't is violent and hurtful
Experiencing attraction is unique. There is no single right way to experience it. Everyone experiences or doesnât experience attraction in their own unique way.

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Since pride month is coming up:
- Donât complain/shame people for public displays of affection. Doing so is sheer homophobia, no matter what. I donât care if you say âall pda grosses me outâ - if you donât like it, donât go to Pride. Plain and simple. Gay people have been fighting to be able to even HOLD HANDS in public, for cryinâ out loud.
- Donât sexualize gay people either. Saying âyeah Iâm fine with pda but I just donât want people humping in public!!!â Is JUST as bad as saying the above. NOBODY is being overly sexual in public, and even if they are, thatâs a personal issue, not an issue with Pride as a whole.
- Straight trans/nonbinary people exist, and they belong at Pride. If youâre going to complain about cishets, SAY CISHETS. Straight trans/nonbinary people are our friends, and we need to welcome them with open arms.
- Bi people who are in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender are STILL BI. They belong at Pride too. If you say otherwise, youâre being biphobic, and you really need to rethink your priorities.
- Not everybody is okay with being called the Q slur. Itâs fine to reclaim it for yourself, but do NOT apply it to others without their prior consent. Same goes for any other slur, such as the F slur, D slur, and T slur.
also: aces and aros belong at pride!!
Shoutout to people in qprs that are at times sexual and who feel erased as hell by all this false information on the subject, especially if you are aromantic. Itâs annoying when people say qprs are an ace thing when they⌠are not specific to ace peopleâŚ
Iâm close to wanting a separate term for QPRs that are inclusive of sexual experiences and encompass sexual attraction, just because of the sheer degree of misinformation. Something specific for non-romantic relationships that include, accommodate and even sometimes, maybe, centre on sexual experiences and/or sexual attraction!
Even on some aro-spec community blogs I see definitions of the âcan encompass sexual attraction but itâs mostly about platonic/sensual/alterous attractionâ sortâsomething that nominally includes us but still pushes off us to the side as unusual or exceptional. I know the aro-spec community has talked about this many a time, and QPRs come from aro-ace specific conversations that didnât exclude sex and sexual attraction, but ⌠but when weâre constantly fighting to insist this term actually includes us, does it truly include us?
If weâre treated as unusual or exceptional, the term doesnât fully include or centre on us as a norm. Itâs rather how I feel in general a-spec spaces, where I know that the assumption is that weâre ace-spec. Iâm tired of being unusual in my own houseâwhere I belong in name and less in practice.
Iâm getting so frustrated with it that Iâm on the verge of throwing my hands up in the air and screaming well, weâll make our own fucking word, then!
Allo-aros do not have, historically, a major role in the creation of a-spec community language, up to and including the term now used to identify our own communityâallosexual. (But at least weâve been able to take that word and begin to make it our own; our right to it isnât erased the same way.) Can QPR as a concept, not made by us, have true affinity with allo-aros, non-asexual aro-specs and aro-spec ace-specs who centre their sexual attraction experiences or have sex/sexual relationships that arenât romantic? Would it be easier for us to make a new term for our relationships that doesnât require constant activism to acknowledge our experiences?
The problem, of course, is that QPRs are such a central concept for relationships in the aro-spec community that I donât want to close us out of them just because Iâm so tired of being pushed to the sides. That could be really dangerous, and Iâm anxious about giving folks reason to shove allo-aros out of a term that has in many ways come to epitomise aro-spec relationships. If weâre aro-spec, and we are, that gets to be our word too, right?
Iâm not saying that making a new word is the right way to go; Iâm genuinely not sure that it is. Iâm just saying that my frustration at the relationships I have had, want to have, write about and may/will have in the future not unquestionably belonging to this term results in a feeling that maybe I should give up, let the aces keep it and make something new that is less tethered to asexual culture, both in its creation and its resulting adoption.
(This is a vent post on my part, not a call to action. Iâve no idea what to do, just that it looks to me like a case of âfightâ or âleaveâ, and I can see advantages and problems in both. Of course, I wouldnât be looking at it this way if it werenât for the erasure, would I? If my right to this term were accepted as an equally centred shape of its many potential expressions, if I were regarded as an equal inheritor to a-spec and aro-spec language as any other a-spec and aro-spec, this wouldnât even be a conversation.)
Iâm tired. Iâm so tired of feeling, as you put it, âerased as hellâ.