some bullshit

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

the time is now

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

How you gonna do us like that bruh???

ITS BACK

i guess this is the long post all the gays are collectively reblogging today huh

Idk how to work it on mobile which makes me sad

HAHWHWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHESUAIJ

I’m fucking DYING

Aren’t we all, honey?!

i’d forgotten about this video but seeing it on mute i remembered immediately how the tone and manner of voice over fills me with inexplicable and visceral RAGE