Summary: It's the end of the world and you're going to die a virgin, but not if Dean Winchester has a say in things.
You're not sure what the bitterness on your tongue is, the vodka or the disappointment of reality. Biting your cheek, you let Dean's words hit in the way they should. God wasn't gone, he'd been there the whole time like some kind of deluded puppet master.Ā Pulling and yanking the Winchesters strings until their worlds collapse.Ā Ā
Your heart throbbed and your mouth went dry. Too long had you let the idea that maybe God would hear your prayers, that he'd grant you freedom from this life, but here you were. Listening to Dean tell you about the actual end of the world.Ā The very man you'd been saving yourself for in hopes that you could have that apple pie life.Ā Ā
You chuckled bitterly as you swallowed the last of the bottle.Ā Your stomach twisted and caught fire, but you enjoyed the temporary escape from numbness. The bottle empty like you were empty.Ā With nothing to show for your life except the scars of saving lives that had never mattered.Ā
"Well, fuck me." You murmured looking up into his eyes. They were somber and tired.Ā Just how you felt.Ā
"But me and Samā¦ We're gonna fix it, Birdy." Dean said as he suddenly laid his arm around your shoulders.Ā You were pressed together in the corner booth of some run down bar. The old nickname made you chuckle and grieve for the innocent you could have been.Ā
This time you laughed, long and hard until Dean was staring at you. Your fit of giggles made him lean away and reach for the unopened bottle of scotch.Ā He assumed you'd explain yourself afterward. Your thoughts turned towards the stupidity of it all.Ā
"You alright, Bird? You suddenly look like you're gonna deck me." Dean grumbled and you hissed through your teeth at him.
"And if I do, I'd be justifiedā¦"Ā
Your life had revolved around two things your entire twentysomething years. Pleasing your asshole of a father and hoping Dean Winchester would love you too. You had always known you were a pathetic lump, but having God himself confirm, even if indirectly, stung.Ā Finally the laughter died in your throat as you started directly at Dean.Ā
Dean frowned at you but didn't move away. His grip on your shoulders tighten as you tired to stand up and walk away.Ā Your huffed, but didn't struggle, you were powerless to the soft look in Dean's eyes.Ā
"Bird, you're gonna have to elaborate here. You're acting like I'm the dick and not Chuck." He sighed before kissing your forehead.Ā You groaned, completely defeated by one kiss. Sinking closer to him, you just shook your head.Ā
"You're a dick, alright Winchesterā¦ Can't you seeā¦Ā How much I love you?... How much I want you and Sam to be okay?Ā Youāre boths dicksā¦ Not telling me about this sooner.āĀ
The words scald your tongue and you felt yourself wanting to be more forward.Ā You want him to know the truth, you donāt want to die a virgin. You want Dean Winchester to do the things that you had only imagine he could do to you.Ā But still you arenāt totally forward with him.
āI guess, I just never thought Iād die a virgin.ā
Dean seemed to choke on air at your confession.Ā He stared at you with mouth opened; looking like he wants to catch flies.Ā You snorted and poured yourself a scotch. The confession had rolled off your tongue without your permission, but you were lost.Ā Who the hell was this girl, anyway?Ā Ā
You chance a glance at yourself in the mirrors surrounding the booth.Ā Your eyes are bloodshot from tears and lack of sleep.Ā Ā
āWh-what?Ā Youāre, uhhhā¦ Kidding right?āĀ Dean asked as he pulled away. You cocked your head to the side and shrugged.Ā
āNope.Ā Not kidding.āĀ
The words were much more casual than you had expected them to be. It was probably the booze making you brave.
Coming at the end of February. *If you would like a tag just comment below.*
@our-jensen-ackles-love @claitynroberts @ericaprice2008 @mrswhozeewhatsis @itsdawnashlie
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