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We had a little bout of whimsy and decided to announce the aesthetic contest winner early.
It was an extremely close competition. All the entries were amazing and we thank you for joining the contest! We'd also like to give a very grateful shout-out to everyone who voted!
Welcome to the recap of the March 2026 Pond Diving live author Q&A session!
In the hot seat today is @talltalesandbedtimestories, an author who has been in the SPN fandom for 7 years, and is a big Dean girl who writes everything from gen to explicit ratings! Sandra loves fluff, angst, and smut, and hosts an AMAZING SPN Podcast called "Idling in the Impala!" Fics (and Podfics) are on AO3 here. Original Romance Novels are here. @idlingintheimpalapodcast is hosted by Sandra and her amazing co-host, Kasey! (aka @sam-is-my-safe-word)
All the questions and answers from the chat are below the cut!
Alex (@zepskies) - Q: I would love to know of all your amazing Dean x OC and Dean x Reader stories, which one is your favorite and why? â¤ď¸
A: My fave has got to be my very first fic⌠"A View To A Winchester" ~ it's what got me in this fandom. And it's my self-insert Dean x OFC. It was written at the start of COVID. My little escape from reality with Dean, and it brought me here!
Liz (@xpurdyglambertx) - Q: My favorite question to ask... what's the story behind your username?
A: Um, it's actually two episode titles from Supernatural. I felt like it captured my writing style pretty well.
Kasey (@sam-is-my-safe-word) - Q: What is your writing process (and when did you figure out what kind of process made you the happiest?)
A: I am a prepper if you didn't know. Things I try to focus on when Iâm writing a longer fic (not a one-shot) and have a storyline I want to see through from A to Z: Does this scene: Advance the plot (main plot, subplots)? Is it revealing something about a character? If Iâve stumbled upon a theme as Iâm writing, does it enhance it? (Heroâs Journey, Coming of age, Love and sacrifice, identity and belonging)
Liz - Q: Can you tell us a little bit about your original works? What do you write, etc.? It isn't super often that we get someone who writes stuff besides fanfic!
A: My writing journey: My main reason for writing fanfic has always been to escape reality and bring my imagination and romantic heroes to life. My writing began in my early teens in the 80s. Back then, I wrote straight-up self-inserts involving teen idols like Johnny Depp and New Kids On The Block. Well over a decade later, I wrote a very Mary Sue heroine in a fanfic for the Leonardo DiCaprio movie âThe Man in the Iron Mask.â I also wrote a short King Louis XIV fanfic for an online friend Iâd met through Leonardo DiCaprio forums. It was another self-insert.
I wrote a dystopian YA romance and had it turned into an ebook by a very small online seller around 2003 (I think). OMG, it was so cringe thinking about it now, but maybe I was a little too early for the bandwagon of The Hunger Games and Divergent. This was back in the day when I snail-mailed 200 pages to an editor for review. Iâd have to wait a few weeks, then sheâd mail them back. Iâd make changes, print all the pages, and then mail them back again.
In 2015, I shopped my almost two-decades-old Man in the Iron Mask fanfic to small-press publishers as a historical romance. It actually got accepted. My first published romance novel! I wrote a contemporary romance soon after that, and it was accepted by another small press publisher. But, being the smallest of small publishers, there was no marketing, the books didnât go gangbusters, and I eventually decided to try my hand at self-publishing. I got the rights back to those books and figured out Amazon KDP and other self-publishing platforms like Draft to Digital. In total, Iâve published eight original romance novels under my pen name, Sandra Kyle. I havenât published a novel since 2022, but Iâm currently co-writing a story that I hope to have come out in 2027.
If you read some of my novels, youâll see I do kind of have a type. The misunderstood bad boy with a heart of gold is my go-to hero.
So, itâs fitting that my very first Supernatural fanfic (which I began writing in March of 2020) ended up being an original female character who is most definitely a self-insert, but hopefully not a Mary Sue. The fic titled âA View To A Winchesterâ allowed me to escape the reality of the COVID pandemic, and centered on the most awesome of heroes, Dean Winchester, in a romance with a happy ending. And that was the start of my SPN fic writing journey.
I think I tend to lean into the domestic aspects or the relationship drama of romance. But I absolutely love playing in the world of Supernatural, and have found I especially enjoy exploring the magic and witchcraft.
@autisticandroids - What are your character/character ship preferences?
A: I'm a Dean Lover through and through, so he's always my go-to. I could write about him forever, and with anyone, I think. But I ship Dean with me!
@runawaydr3amer - Q: So I know you sometimes write pairings, fandoms, or POVs you're not necessarily super familiar or comfortable with, as a way to get out of your comfort zone. But do you feel, or have you found as time goes on, that experiments like this help grow your skills as a writer? For example, and context for others, writing Sam's POV when you don't feel as confident with him.
A: Oh, absolutely, it pushes me, like you said, out of a comfort zone. I write for comfort primarily, but the challenges have given me a reason to go beyond that. I did a Wincest Big Bang, not because it was uncomfortable, but because I joined with friends and I was able to explore the boys' relationship in a way I hadn't before. I'm extremely Ship and Let Ship. And, yes, doing things like word count challenges, trying a drabble, writing a Sabriel for a gift fic, different things like that push my storytelling and put me in another character's mindset. What drives them would be different than my go-to.
Autisticandroids - Q: Do you find there's a difference between what you like to write and what you like to read, both within the fanwork space in general? Like, stuff you like to read but don't feel like you could pull off yourself, or, conversely, stuff you only like when you write it yourself.
A: I am always in awe of certain writers who can go in dark places and pick at scars and be totally vulnerable in their writing (looking at you, Kasey. Or the 20K sex scenes (cough @runawaydr3amer )).
As for stuff I write only for myself, I mean, I think a majority of the stuff I write first and foremost is for me, and I hope others enjoy the journey.
@crowleysmistress - Q: Since I was in a discussion about crack fics and rare pairs earlier, what would be the rare pair you could see yourself writing in the future?
A: I've heard people mention Dean/Crowley lately, and I have to say that sounds very fun to take a stab at.
Liz - Q: Who are your personal favorite fanfic authors?
A: Writers I Love (Trust Me, I wish I had time to read more and find more great authors!)
My podcast co-host, Kasey ( @sam-is-my-safe-word ), whoâs a Wincest, Sam/Reader, Dean/Reader writer, likes to pick at the scabs and really dig into very uncomfortable topics wrapped up in the most visceral scenes. Their stuff is also scorchingly hot! Their motto might be: If it ainât explicit, whatâs the point?
Kasey introduced me to @runawaydr3amerâs West Series (Wincest) way back in 2022, and I love Dreamerâs stuff. She takes such time and care in her writing and has produced novel-worthy works. However, West will always be my favorite!
BJ (darali_starscream) is such a solid writer in the Dean realm. She gets him, and her stories linger in my brain and heart.
@zepskies has an unending library of stories, and she writes about pretty much any Jensen character. I can always expect to be highly entertained and taken on an awesome journey that tugs at my heartstrings.
A Bakerâs Dozen Of Relatively New To Me Writers That Have A Soft Spot In My Heart! (Reasons they crossed my radar over the past couple of years: the podcast, being recced, or becoming fandom friends and loving the boys Winchester.) No particular order, and this list could go on and on!
@jinkieswouldyoulookatthis (Wincest, Reader Insert)
@fictionallemons (Wincest)
@nyxocity (J2, Wincest)
@compo67 (J2, Wincest)
@crowleysmistress (Samifer)
@jld71 (Wincest, J2, one of the biggest cheerleaders/hardest workers in the fandom)
@masoena (Multishipper)
@xpurdyglambertx (Multishipper)
@sorryitsmyfirstdayonearth (Reader Insert)
@chevroletdean (RI, Destiel)
Edge_of_Clairvoyance (Gen, Pre-Canon)
@quickreaver (Gencest, also an amazing fanart creator)
@zmediaoutlet (Wincest)
@copperboom82 (OFCs)
@flanneledfae (Multishipper, RI)
Old Guard Dean/Reader (some still very active, some not at all â most I found on Tumblr first in 2019 and 2020) Just the tip in terms of my list. The iceberg is huge (get thee minds out of the gutter)!
IncogNinja | @thoughtslikeaminefield
@littlegreenplasticsoldier
@kittenofdoomage
@impala-dreamer
@smol-and-grumpy
@rizlowwritessortof
@crashdevlin
@deanwinchesterswitch
@wayward-and-worn
@dandeliondreaming123-blog
Autisticandroids - Q: How do you keep sex scenes fun and exciting? That's always interesting from an erotica writer.
A: I think you have to change up the location to start. Like maybe outside of the bedroom. Bunker kitchen on the table. A tub in the bunker shower no one knew was there.
Bets ( @flanneledfae) Q: What's your favorite trope to write? And is there one you haven't tried yet that you would like to?
A: Friends to lovers. My absolute fave. I don't know about a trope I haven't tried yet, though; I'd have to have more of a think on that. But, I do love me a sex curse or sex pollen.
Runawaydr3amer - Q: So this one's more about the technical side of writing. Maybe it's just the beta in me, but I know when I write, I'm conscious of what I consider my weaknesses or bad habits, like run-on sentences or using too many adverbs. Are you the same way, and do you have any tips for overcoming them?
A: There are a bunch of things I've learned in my writing over the years to kind of keep an eye out for. Passive voice is a thing that can really disconnect a reader. So I try to avoid the "was" and "were" a lot. Adverbs are another thing. I follow Stephen King's motto: the road to hell is paved with adverbs. Is there a more succinct way to say something? And we all have our crutches when we write. I think you become more mindful of them and self-edit as you go. But don't limit yourself by not trying out different things. At the end of the day, write what brings you joy first. And if that's a ton of adverbs, go for it! Just be ready to go to hell!
Autisticandroids - Q: Where do you get the impulse to write from?
A: Escape! Daydreams! I've always been a shy, introverted kid. I lived it in my headspace a ton. So, watching a show or reading a book would want to pull me into that world. And, come on, Dean is great material to work with. I've been obsessed with that character for years, and it shows no sign of stopping.
RunawayDr3amer - Q: Do you put much stock in AO3 stats? I know some authors live and die by them.
A: Sigh, yes. I think it's impossible for me to not do that comparison thing. We are all our harshest critics. But I check them often. But it's the lovely kudos emails and the comments that let me know I'm reaching peeps with my stories. So, it kind of shakes out, I guess.
Andrea ( @walkingaline) - Q: As an author, how do you go about adapting other people's works into podfics? Like, the technical aspect of emphasis and metrics, especially.
A: This is kind of where I get to be the actor I think I always wanted to be. I start off as the narrator and just kind of take cues from the writing. If the writing is amazeballs and the characters (to me) are authentic, then I think it's easy to bring them to life. And we have such amazing talent. I do love voicing Dean, though. Embodying him is super fun! You have to find ways to bring about the character with tone if you can't necessarily do the voice. Is the story fun, is it somber, is it dramatic? The writing helps guide me in my narration.
Andrea - I see! So it's all you? Or do you take "directions" from the authors, aside from the story itself?
A: You know, there was only one time I really asked for clarification, and that was a joint collab PodTogether project. I asked the authors to listen to their parts of the story and give feedback. Only a couple of directions, if you will.
Michelle ( @mrswhozeewhatsis) - Q: Do you make time in your life for writing, or make time in your writing for life? đ
A: It depends on the state of my brain, but more often than not, I have to make time in my life for writing⌠boooo.
Kasey - Q: Can we have a peek behind the curtain? Are you currently working on anything?
A: I've done it again, Kasey! I've signed up for another challenge! And one I've never done before, the J2 Big Bang. First time writing them. It came about from a group discussion in the Idling server, so you know that I'm writing it. Very excited.
Kasey - Q: What's your favorite dinosaur?
A: Brontosaurus
Crowleysmistress - Q: Do you write one thing at a time or various things?
A: Um, it depends on how insane I've been to sign up for things. But, I've juggled a couple at a time.
Michelle - Q: As a dedicated pantser myself, outlining and planning a fic seems like Greek to me. Can you describe how you outline? How detailed do you get before you sit down to actually write?
A: Oh, I usually have a start and an ending and try to work on some major plot points. I don't outline or structure the story from start to finish. But I like to sort of feel how the story progresses and see what themes come up as I'm writing. 2 am wake-ups to write that stuff down, it's important! Or shower revelations are very helpful with my outlines. Characters causing detours can be very fun. I love finding these new and interesting things that a character has decided to do. Oh, this is going to be a 30k fic, now, is it?
Liz - Q: What is your absolute favorite aspect of doing pod fics?
A: I gotta say, I have found I love doing narrations live in front of peeps in the smut closet in the Idling discord. But I really do love the acting part of it. I've gained a lot more confidence in that aspect of creating. It's sooo much fun!
Kasey - Q: What made you wanna start an SPN podcast after the show had finished?
A: Would you like to hear about my podcast and narrating journey, Kasey? I just happen to have some notes on that.
In 2020, I stumbled onto podfics as I consumed podcasts about Supernatural (mainly show recaps or rewatches). I found a podcast called âMaking It Up As We Goâ - a Destiel Anthology Podfic Podcast. The creator, NerdyNerdenstein, narrated Destiel fan favorites, and they were extremely entertaining. I didnât know people did that with fanfic!
However, I couldnât find a podcast that focused on discussing Supernatural fanfic, and I really wanted to hear Reader-Insert or OFC stories. So, if you canât find it, make it yourself! Kasey agreed to come along for the ride. We started recording and released our first podcast episode of âIdling in the Impalaâ in December 2021. And, over 250 episodes and almost five years later, weâre still doing the thing.
The initial format of the episodes included me reading an excerpt of fanfics we recced. My first full-length fanfic recording was Kaseyâs âNeedâ (Sam/Reader) ~ still one of my all-time favorites of theirs. Since I didnât have permission to read anyone elseâs work, I started to go through more of Kasey's and my own fanfic. When we welcomed guests to the podcast, I started reading one of their fics as a thank you.
All of that gave me the confidence to try narrating fiction and non-fiction as a side hustle. Iâve narrated over 70 books over three years, but it proved to be really hard to sustain that workload level without a commensurate or consistent paycheck (and reviews can be quite brutal). Now I mainly podfic stories for great fanfic authors. We have an AO3 series, Podfics in the Impala, where you can find them all.
My narration and audio mastering skills have benefited and improved because of my time in the Supernatural fandom. Never in a million years would I have thought Iâd be doing this!
I recently narrated an original romance by fanfic author @impala-dreamer (Rebekah Jordan), titled âWhatever It Is.â (DM me if you want a free download link!) Iâd love to do more of that for fanfic authors who take the leap into original fiction.
Bets - Q: Is there an activity or a hobby you turn to when the words just aren't wording?
A: LOL, podcasting??? It can be very inspiring to see how someone else approaches writing. I also love watching the show to get inspiration. Staring at a beautiful man can give you all sorts of thoughts. I've got two fics for you that prove that: Five Finger Discount and If You Don't Look Good, We Don't Look Good.
Michelle - Q: What are your favorite and least favorite of your own fics?
A: I can't really pick a favorite of all time. But I always love listening to my podficced version of Five Finger Discount. Hmmm, least favorite ~ I'm not super happy with how A Hunter's Helper came out. That could stand to be improved. There was way too much exposition. But we can be too harsh on ourselves. We try, and that's what makes us better.
Michelle - Q: Is there anything that you haven't written, and there's a reason why you haven't written it? What is it and why?
A: If you listen to the podcast next week, you'll hear all about it. But, basically, I don't think I could ever write Soldier Boy. It's too close to home in terms of his personality traits and the fact that I can't find anything redeeming about him. I've had experiences with a man like that, and I don't want to have that in my headspace for long.
Michelle - Is there anything you haven't written and you WANT to write?
A: A fic that gets 100K hits and a New York Times Bestseller!
FYI - Getting a fic turned into a podfic by Sandra is one of the many prizes on our prize list! You can win this by participating in writing sprints or submitting Angel Fish Award nominations, and there are more opportunities to win coming in the future!
The next Pond Diving is not yet scheduled, so keep your eyes peeled for that announcement! (Or, you can watch the events calendar in our Discord server, or add our Google calendar to yours!) For more information about this new version of Pond Diving, click here!
Have questions about this or anything else? Contact our Admins and Manta Rays!
New Episode Alert: Exploring Emotional Fanfic: IncogNinjaâs âYou Will Hollow Out My Heart And I Will Haunt Your Bedâ
Sandra and Kasey are thrilled to welcome back MJ, also known as IncogNinja and @thoughtslikeaminefield, a beloved author in the Supernatural fandom, known for her emotionally raw fanfiction.
In this episode, they dive deep into MJ's Soldier Boy/OFC fanfic, âYou Will Hollow Out My Heart And I Will Haunt Your Bed,â exploring complex characters far removed from the usual Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester narratives.
With decades of experience in fandom, MJ shares her insights on the evolution of fan communities and storytelling through fanfiction. Tune in for a heartfelt discussion about tackling difficult themes and the power of fanfic in shaping the Supernatural fan experience.
Listen on Spotify
Watch on Youtube:
Chapter Timestamps
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:57 - The wealth of discussions with MJ
00:10:27 - Representing female maturity in fanfic
00:25:22 - Maturing in fandom
00:40:15 - The challenge of writing Soldier Boy
00:53:43 - The fact versus fiction of toxic relationships
01:22:03 - MJs Reader Insert journey
01:29:29 - Older female character that resonated with readers
01:39:13 - Any WIPs on MJs plate
01:45:30 - Final thoughts
01:49:18 - Outro
Would you like a chance to win cool prizes while showing your love for Jensen? Not a writer or an artist, but want to join in the fun of a contest? The Storytellers Contest blog has just the challenge for you!
Our Aesthetic Contest is open to everyone!!
Including participants and judges of Storytellers Contest: The Jensen Ackles Chronicles, as this is separate from the writing contest. Voting will be via public opinion.
Choose from the list of prompts and characters below to create an aesthetic/moodboard. Multiple prompts may be used.
Since prizes are involved we will enforce the rules.
Post between February 22 and March 8
Use the tag #sctjac-aesthetic as one of the first five tags
AI is not allowed
Base templates from sites like Canva are allowed. Or you can create one of your own.
Only one submission per person.
Credit sources for any non Creative Common images.
A link to a voting form will be provided beginning March 9.
A master post will be created to help direct voters to fanworks. If you donât see your work on the masterpost, please notify us as soon as possible.Â
Voting will close March 22, 2026
Winner will be announced March 27, 2026
Aesthetic Contest Prizes ~ One winnerÂ
A custom fanfic written by one of our hosts based on the aesthetic.
Blog Shout Outs
Badge
Prompts
Choose an element (fire, water, earth, air)
What Pantone color is your character?
Holiday
Sense (taste, touch, sight, smell)
Dark and Light
Pick a material (e.g.: iron, wood, copper, leather, stone, glass, velvet, etc.)
Characters that can be used for this contest. Jensen* RPF is also welcome. Â
Tom Hanniger (My Bloody Valentine)
Dean Winchester* (SPN/The Winchesters)Â Â
Jack Durfy (Buddy Games)Â Â
Soldier Boy/Ben (The Boys)Â Â
Beau Arlen (Big Sky)Â Â
Russell Shaw (Tracker)Â Â
Mark Meachum (Countdown)Â
*Jensen or his character should be over the age of thirty within the piece.
For questions, DM us on the main blog, @storytellers-contest.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Would you like a chance to win cool prizes while showing your love for Jensen? Not a writer or an artist, but want to join in the fun of a contest? The Storytellers Contest blog has just the challenge for you!
Our Aesthetic Contest is open to everyone!!
Including participants and judges of Storytellers Contest: The Jensen Ackles Chronicles, as this is separate from the writing contest. Voting will be via public opinion.
Choose from the list of prompts and characters below to create an aesthetic/moodboard. Multiple prompts may be used.
Since prizes are involved we will enforce the rules.
Post between February 22 and March 8
Use the tag #sctjac-aesthetic as one of the first five tags
AI is not allowed
Base templates from sites like Canva are allowed. Or you can create one of your own.
Only one submission per person.
Credit sources for any non Creative Common images.
A link to a voting form will be provided beginning March 9.
A master post will be created to help direct voters to fanworks. If you donât see your work on the masterpost, please notify us as soon as possible.Â
Voting will close March 22, 2026
Winner will be announced March 27, 2026
Aesthetic Contest Prizes ~ One winnerÂ
A custom fanfic written by one of our hosts based on the aesthetic.
Blog Shout Outs
Badge
Prompts
Choose an element (fire, water, earth, air)
What Pantone color is your character?
Holiday
Sense (taste, touch, sight, smell)
Dark and Light
Pick a material (e.g.: iron, wood, copper, leather, stone, glass, velvet, etc.)
Characters that can be used for this contest. Jensen* RPF is also welcome. Â
Tom Hanniger (My Bloody Valentine)
Dean Winchester* (SPN/The Winchesters)Â Â
Jack Durfy (Buddy Games)Â Â
Soldier Boy/Ben (The Boys)Â Â
Beau Arlen (Big Sky)Â Â
Russell Shaw (Tracker)Â Â
Mark Meachum (Countdown)Â
*Jensen or his character should be over the age of thirty within the piece.
For questions, DM us on the main blog, @storytellers-contest.
"wahh i only like enemies to lovers if it's gay bc i don't want men to be mean to women" what about a woman doing heinous shit to a man and that man (who also sucks) being pathetically psychosexually obsessed with her. you people have no fucking vision. if you were willing to read & write women doing actual wrongs this wouldn't be a problem. let that female character commit atrocities with the sole goal of ruining one guy's life while they have weird sexual tension about it
Apparently thereâs a âkids shouldnât be allowed in grocery storesâ thing being spread on TikTok because they might scream or run around and look yeah thatâs annoying but at a certain point youâve gotta just put up with kids being a little annoying in public. Sure the kid pouring milk in the isles is the fault of a shitty parent and should be asked to leave, but a single mom with an otherwise controlled by crying toddler isnât doing anything wrong. I think youâll live if someoneâs two year old starts screaming in their arms in isle 3. It might be annoying but that mom is probably having a worse day than you
Also, is a lot of the Internet just, unclear on the thing where you learn how to do stuff by doing it? You know what you get if you don't let toddlers into the grocery store? School age kids who don't know how to behave in the grocery store, which is worse. Don't let them in either? Teenagers who don't know how to behave in the grocery store, which is much worse. Just ban all minors from the grocery store? Now you have adults who don't know how to behave in the grocery store, and at that point we may as well not bother with society.
Toddler in the grocery store is learning:
How to find items in space that was organized by someone else
How to share narrow or complex walking spaces with strangers
How to operate in a space full of things they can touch and maybe even pick up, but don't own
How to peacefully coexist with strangers in a public space when everyone is doing their own (similar but separate) tasks in the same place
What kinds of food exist
How to tolerate having nothing in particular to do in a high stimulus environment
How to wait in line
How to greet a cashier and complete your transaction nicely
How to pay for things in a store
Most of this they are learning just by following and watching their adult(s). They're also, and this is especially important for families who don't take much public transit, getting to see a broader cross section of people than most other age appropriate activities will readily show them. The only other public place of this sort that a toddler might routinely go is the library, which is different in ways that are potentially instructive if you have only existed for 30 months.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I think the real difference between Dean's and Sam's codependency in s9 and s10 respectively is that Sam was willing to die and Dean couldn't handle that so he did something he knew Sam wouldn't have wanted in a million years. It was selfish. Sam's was more about recognizing that Dean didn't deserve to live a miserable isolated life. He was doing it for Dean, not for himself. He couldn't have known something that bad would happen. It was an unfortunate consequence, but Dean knew that letting an angel possess Sam would have consequences.
"Sam was willing to die"
(from 8x14)
(from 8x23)
"Dean couldn't handle that so he did something he knew Sam wouldn't have wanted in a million years."
(from 9x01)
(from 9x01 *note that isn't actually dean, it's gadreel pretending to be dean)
"Sam's was more about recognizing that Dean didn't deserve to live a miserable isolated life. He was doing it for Dean, not for himself."
(from 10x18)
"He couldn't have known something that bad would happen."
(from 10x18)
(from 10x21)
"Dean knew that letting an angel possess Sam would have consequences."
(from 9x01)
(from 9x01)
i just think perhaps you should rewatch the show, anon. also, @scoobydoodean this is me officially forwarding any further discussion to you.
Here to collect my anons! Yet againâmy inbox is open, anon! What's the deal?
The only part of this I'd like to address further is the notion that Sam wanted to save Dean for Dean but Dean wanted to save Sam for Dean. Anon, what you are doing when you say that is you are taking Sam's speech from Season 9's The Purge and questioning absolutely nothing about the truth of what Sam said during that speech... and that speech is a steaming pile of bullshit. In fact, my post this is about called back to a portion of that speech to point out how Sam is really describing himself rather than Dean.
Here's Sam's little speech from 9.13 "The Purge" for reference:
Everything that happens in season 8 and 9 and before demonstrates that this is not true.
Courtney already pointed out that Sam specifically does The Trials instead of Dean based upon the fact that Sam says he wants to live, and Dean doesn't. Sam wants to show Dean to the light at the end of the tunnel (8.14).
The thing is, almost instantly (by 8.16) Sam starts saying he's going to die.
Why does Sam's bravado disappear so fast? Because Sam is in a terrible mental state, and has been since before the start of the season! Sam has been in the midst of a mental breakdown he's been refusing to acknowledge since the end of season 7! He didn't want Dean to die, so he insisted on doing The Trials to keep Dean from dying doing them! But then Sam starts to think HE'S going to die... that the light at the end of the tunnel he promised he could lead them both toward is a pipe dream!
Sam's mental state deteriorates further over the course of The Trials. Sam starts to think he SHOULD die, because he's not clean, and he gets this very broken idea in his head that The Trials can purify him so he can be clean now (8.21).
This is... a scene throwing up red flags left and right in terms of Sam's mental state! Sam literally thinks some ancient quest can fix the problems he has with himselfâthe shame he's carried with him since childhood as a result of childhood neglect... and he's going to reach a point by 8.23 that he wants to stop feeling that shame so badly and so desperately wants to believe The Trials can make him stop feeling that shame... that he realizes he wants The Trials to kill him! We are talking about a man who is suicidal and is going to use The Trials to kill himself.
Sam said "It's a suicide mission for you" in 8.14 and refused to let Dean do The Trials... but he himself ended up turning it into a suicide mission for himself!!!
Going back to 9.13 "The Purge", let's run through Sam's dialogue:
"I was ready to die." - The entire reason Sam insisted on doing The Trials instead of Dean was because he said Dean would treat them like a suicide mission. Meanwhile, Sam wanted to survive. He literally would not let Dean do The Trials because Dean was suicidal... but now he is shaming and guilting Dean for not letting Sam kill himself doing them.
"You didn't save me for me. You did it for you". This is an ugly reframing of events. Not only does Dean become increasingly worried for Sam's mental state over the course of the season, which explicitly culminates in the brother who said "I want to live and so should you" in 8.14 planning to kill himself to become clean.. . Sam also blames Dean for his mental state in 8.23! ...And why? Because Dean had friends. Sam specifically mentioned Cas and Benny and all but said he was going to commit suicide because Dean trusted them more than Sam. Dean is overtly 1) intervening to save a suicidal person 2) being guilted by his brother who is essentially blaming Dean for his imminent suicide. And NOW Sam is transforming the narrative again to make Dean the bad guy for saving him from committing suicide... the thing Sam insisted he was saving Dean from doing in 8.14.
"You can't stand the thought of being alone" - Sam says this... and yet if we think back... Dean literally did live without Sam between seasons 5 and 6. Dean was the one who told Sam to go back to Amelia. Sam, meanwhile, continuing to say he was going to leave when their business with Kevin was concluded, told Dean he had to choose between him and Bennyâthe only person Dean could have gone to when Sam left.
"You're certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt" - Said by Sam, who kept Dean from doing The Trials because Dean was going to die doing them, then promptly started planning to die doing them himself. Hmmm.
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âIâm almost 50, and here is the best thing I have learned so far: every strange thing youâve ever been into, every failed hobby or forgotten instrument, everything you have ever learned will come back to you, will serve you when you need it. No love, however brief, is wasted.â @louisethebaker on Twitter
okay iâm gonna say it: fandoms are kinda dying on tumblr, and theyâre starving because nobody reblogs anymore.
like⌠i donât wanna be that person but be for real?? likes are cute and all but they do nothing for creators. ZERO. NADA. a reblog is literally the oxygen mask keeping this blue hellsite alive. you say you âloveâ a fic, an edit, a gifset? then BABES⌠reblog it. boost it. let it breathe.
half the time creators are out here pouring their entire soul, spine, AND three vertebrae into something just for it to get 200 likes and 3 reblogs, two of which are their own. thatâs why people stop posting. thatâs why fandoms feel empty. content doesnât magically fall from the sky â it comes from people who feel seen.
and i promise you: reblogging is free. it costs you like 0.2 seconds and suddenly youâre personally responsible for keeping a whole fandom alive. congrats!! so yeah. if you like something? reblog it. scream in the tags. yell. keyboard smash. put sparkles. do whatever. just donât let creators feel like theyâre shouting into a void.
reblogs feed creators. reblogs keep fandoms thriving. reblogs literally save lives (okay maybe not literally but u get it).
support the creators you love !!!!!! or else weâre all gonna be sitting in empty tags like clowns.
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