Hey

I didn’t know the kid that well and I didn’t have any classes with him so I never really talked to him that much. I knew his name. His name was Kevin. Sometimes I’d see him at parties on the weekends. He still had his baby bottle. He would fill it with beer and rum.

He dated my sister’s friend, Emily, for a little while. I had known Emily for a long time. She had been a friend of my sister’s since they were five or six. They were really good friends. She spent a lot of time at our house for sleepovers and stuff. Sometimes she would pee the bed, but I never made fun of her for it. I think most older brothers would have loved the opportunity to make fun of their sister’s friend for peeing the bed and I think she really appreciated that I never mentioned it even though I definitely knew about it because after the sixth or seventh time, my parents started paying me to clean everything up instead of having to do it themselves.

I asked Emily why Kevin only ever drank out of a baby bottle and she said that she didn’t know. They had only been dating for a very short time at that point and she didn’t want to bring it up and offend him or anything. I asked her to tell me if she ever found out. They broke up right after that and I kind of forgot about it because Kevin stopped going to school. I don’t know if he transferred or dropped out, but I never saw him at lunch or any parties after that.

I hadn’t thought about him in a long time, but Emily happened to mention him while she was over at our house recently and I immediately remembered the baby bottle thing.

“Did you ever find out why he drank out of that bottle?” I asked.

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

The light is green.

one of the reasons why I did straight white boy problems was because I wanted to grow as a person. This blog was my medium and I pushed myself to create, and to create, I had to expand my perspectives. 

In some ways, the straight white boy character that you became acquainted with was an exaggerated version of myself. Many of the problems were real life occurrences/observations/events that I drew from personal experience, but some problems also came from friends or were satirized to the point where the anecdote was unrealistic. Straight White Boy Problem #965 is honestly one of my personal favorites because this “problem” was actually a real situation in my life, and this situation could apply for several dudes that are questioning the meaning of masculinity.

The person that started at problem #1 is not the same person that finished with problem #1000. I was very much a self-entitled brat when I started this blog, but i have grown since then. I will be graduating college in december with a dual degree, leadership positions in student organizations, and the confidence that I can go out and do anything I set my mind to.

having a level of internet popularity (this blog finished with just over 164k followers) on a medium such as tumblr is very scary. one bad move, and you lose your rep - we have seen that with zubat, pizza, and most recently, sixpenceee. my advice to yall is to keep holding people in these positions accountable, but NEVER elevate internet famous people above other people. not everything i said over 3 years was 100% politically correct, but when i was in the wrong, i had fair and jovial conversations with people to figure out why i was in the wrong. no matter where you go in life, try to treat everybody fairly and equally - hopefully they will do the same to you. 

as for my name, you can call me alec. i did promise i’d tell you guys who i was after everything was said and done so there ya go.

thank you for following this blog and thank you for being a part of this experience. this blog was a giant, beautiful mistake that just kinda happened and im happy that yall enjoyed it as much as i did. i may do something in the future, i may not, but i leave this blog a changed and better person.

sincerely,

people have lost their lives. families have been separated, an 8 year old girl has just been identified as the second victim. ariana’s whole team actively tried to protect people by taking young kids into safe areas- include her own mother.

this isn’t just a small inconvenience. this is a tragedy. think before you react. i’ve got too many people around me thinking about themselves other than those who deserve and need it.

AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT

DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER

FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY *Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe

1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)

1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)

Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.

Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.

Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)