"A doodle. I do doodle. You do doodle too."

Link to the gay porn library of Alexandria.

My parents threw away all of these things (even the vacuum cleaners and the dryer) when they got too dirty to function, because no one even told them THAT they could be cleaned. Cost them thousands of dollars over the years.

All I'm saying is that cleaning is not intuitive, and not knowing how to clean is not a moral failing, but it is something you can learn.

I like this video because it does a great job of introducing the basic foundations of house cleaning (and because he doesn't use bleach, which is a common allergy in addition to being awful to inhale). He also talks a little about how to clean a vacuum. And why you shouldn't put grease from your pots and pans down the sink drain. I also love that he mentions that different houses and different people have different needs and different versions of what clean and cleaning looks like.

This is another video from the same guy about cleaning and depression. This advice, especially at the beginning, can feel really really difficult and oppressive to hear. However, I find that it's generally pretty solid. But I'm autistic and so is he, so that gets a massive Your Mileage May Vary stamp on it.

I have a favorite part of this video. It's from 10:52 to 12:36. I think we could all use to hear that. There's a HEFTY pause after that one. I promise the narration does come back.

This is a pair of videos about how to correctly load and use a dish washer.

The first one is a quick 1 minute 30 second overview on loading. I can't find the exact video I'm looking for, so consider this a substitute for that. If I can find the one I'm looking for, I'll swap it in.

Here's a blog post about scrubbing brushes and how to clean them.

And a video for all cleaning tools, including scrub brushes. This video does use bleach. I'll try to find some alternatives to that.

How to clean a top loader (without the removable agitator thing). This should be done every 1-3 months depending on you unit, or every time you wash really soiled clothes.

How to clean a top loader (with the removable agitator thing). This should be done every month, or every time you wash really soiled clothes.

This video is for pet owners.

These carpet brushes are a LIFE SAVER if you have dogs. This thing allows me to go from vacuuming about 4 square feet before my vacuum is full to vacuuming half the living room (I don't vacuum often enough. You should vacuum weekly, and I just can't.). I have to unclog the vacuum less often. It fluffs up some of the flat spots in the carpet. And I also use the brush to shampoo my rugs in the spring.

A spot cleaner (or a carpet cleaner with a spot cleaner attachment) is another life saver, ESPECIALLY if you can afford to splurge on a heated one. I see them at Goodwill or at yard sales occasionally, and they're worth picking up. The shark one in the video is great too.

It's America's Housekeeping Book (1941). Available for free download on the Internet Archive. (Large PDF file at the link here).

The LISTS y'all. The step by step lists. The emphasis on efficiency and arranging spaces for the least resistance possible. The basic concept of "take a tray or basket into a room when you are tidying up so you can put things that belong elsewhere on it and take them out LATER in ONE GO".

But here? This reveal? This is a Big Reveal for us, Peter B Parker, and Miles, all on different levels. We and Peter both know Doc Ock is a portly dude, not a woman. We know the name Octavius… Otto Octavius. But when she says her name is Olivia Octavius we’re clued in to the fact that Doctor Octopus is a woman in this universe. And she has Peter captive.

Miles, if he was paying attention in science class earlier in the movie, would have known her name was Olivia Octavius, but that doesn’t mean anything to him, why would it? Liv has apparently been very good about keeping her supervillainy a secret. She’s in educational videos shown in high-schools. So to Miles, the reveal here is this scientist lady, who he knew enough about to know was the head scientist at Alchemax, is a supervillain. He gets the reveal a second or two after Peter.

And the movie? It was dropping hints the entire time, confident in our expectations blinding is to the truth. Olivia’s name was partially visible when Miles got to science class. Her glasses are octagonal. The lights in her lab are octagonal. We know she’s working with the Kingpin. Why wouldn’t she be a supervillain? Because she’s hot? Hell, Peter even says he needs to reexamine his internal biases. Maybe he was telling us that we should too.

For everyone in this fandom - whether new or long-time members - who need help figuring out when the events of the show happened.

With the help of @profwonderbearthementalista, I created a possible timeline for further use. It may come in handy when writing fics.

Please, remember, the show never sticks to one timeline, so if you have other ideas - what you read below is not the ultimate truth.

The timeline keeps changing, but I will try to sum it up with dates.

If we assume season one happens in 2008 (the start of the show), then the murder of Angela and Charlotte would be somewhere in 2003 (or 2004). The pilot says Jane insulted RJ five years ago.

There is also a "mistake" in 5x05 where Van Pelt’s file is shown as a potential new member of the team. That would make 5x05 only few months before 1x01. You’re welcome to assume what you prefer.

Let’s go from there:

Murder happens in 2003.

From the murder to 5x05 one year passes. Jane spends 6 months in the hospital and then goes directly from the hospital to the CBI.

He joins the CBI in 2004. Season 1 starts in 2008.

Season 1 is one year. Season 2 is one year. Season 3 is one year. Season 4 is a year + six months. It picks up only a few days after s3, whereas s2 and s3 picked up after a summer. Jane spends six months in Vegas. Season 5 and 6a is a year as 6x01 continues directly on from 5x22. Then two-year gap from 6x08 to 6x09. Then Jane spends three months in detention in 6x10. We don’t know how much times passes between 6x10-6x16. For me personally 6x16-6x22 is a month, maybe two. Jane tells Lisbon “a month even!” when they talk about her dating Pike. Season 7 is a mystery. It could be a few months. Kat assumes six months.

We start in 7x01 which is two weeks after 6x22. (I hope I remember correctly and it’s not fanfiction-filled-brain thing.)

Jane celebrates his birthday in 7x06. There are two birth dates in the series – 30th July 1969 and 16th September 1974.

After 7x10 Jane runs away for a week.

We know wedding in 7x13 happens on Saturday. "We're getting married a day after tomorrow" means they invited people on Thursday. On Friday, Jane got the ring and Lisbon got the dress. They might have got engaged on Tuesday or Wednesday. It would mean on Monday - the whole Lazarus mess happened and Jane got hurt.

Depending on the birthday date we can assume maybe month or two from 7x06 to 7x13? So wedding is either in September or November.

Some wiki sources say that 1969 date is more accurate. Also their wedding song is about September, so maybe wedding does happen in September.

The 1969 birthday is Simon's birthday, so we can assume 1974 birthday is actually Jane's - this one is on their wedding certificate. There's also a headcanon that says Jane faked the birth date on his driver's licence by adding 5 years to his age, so he could get it earlier. It would be useful for him as a carnie.

If they used 1974 for Jane (when Simon's birth year is 1969), we can do the same for Lisbon and give her 1977 (Robin's birth year is 1972). That would make Lisbon 27 and Jane 30 in 5x05 (read: 2004).

Lisbon could be one month pregnant in 7x13. Some say they conceived during his birthday after the teacup gift, some blame ‘I love you’ in 7x07. I am on the second team. There are some other choices too, of course. Depending on the date that you use and the event that you choose – we can still assume, the baby would be born somewhere from April to June (maybe July).

That being said, by 6x10 - after the whole two-year gap and detention – we can assume jisbon knew each other for 12 years. Maybe around 13 years by the time they get married.

Timeline year by year: Murder 2003 5x05 aka jisbon first meeting 2004 S1 2008-2009 (a year) S2 2009-2010 (a year) S3 2010-2011 (a year) S4 2011-2013 (a year and a half) S5+6a 2013-2014 (a year) 6x09/6x10 2016 (two years gap plus 3 months detention) S6b 2016 or 2017 S7 2017

Feel free to let me know if you notice something that needs editing!

And let's end this post with another timeline fact - our beloved Lisbon ❤