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Cardiovascular system: Okay, we need some exercise if we're going to keep working in the future!

Joints: You... you want to EXERCISE? Do you have any idea how precarious things are around here?

Musculoskeletal system: We've got an injury here -- you need to treat it with an anti-inflammatory or it's going to get worse. Not acetaminophen, like ibuprofen.

Digestive system: WTF NO you can't DO that to me I will suffer FOREVER!

Musculoskeletal faction A: Something is wrong and we are going to scream endlessly unless you adapt the way you move to Weird Strictures X.

Musculoskeletal faction B: So about Weird Strictures X. We object strenuously. We're going to revolt now.

If you wish to take part in any fandom, you need to accept and respect these three laws.

If you aren’t able to do that, then you need to realise that your actions are making fandom unsafe for creators. That you are stifling creativity.

Like vaccination, fandom only works if everyone respects these rules. Creators need to be free to make their fanart, fanfics and all other content without fear of being harassed or concern-trolled for their creative choices, no matter whether you happen to like that content or not.

The First Law of Fandom

Don’t Like; Don’t Read (DL;DR)

It is up to you what you see online. It is not anyone else’s place to tell you what you should or should not consume in terms of content; it is not up to anyone else to police the internet so that you do not see things you do not like. At the same time, it is not up to YOU to police fandom to protect yourself or anyone else, real or hypothetical.

There are tools out there to help protect you if you have triggers or squicks. Learn to use them, and to take care of your own mental health. If you are consuming fan-made content and you find that you are disliking it - STOP.

The Second Law of Fandom

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (YKINMK)

Simply put, this means that everyone likes different things. It’s not up to you to determine what creators are allowed to create. It’s not up to you to police fandom. 

If you don’t like something, you can post meta about it or create contrarian content yourself, seek to convert other fans to your way of thinking.  

But you have no right to say to any creator “I do not like this, therefore you should not create it. Nobody should like this. It should not exist.”

It’s not up to you to decide what other people are allowed to like or not like, to create or not to create. That’s censorship. Don’t do it.

The Third Law of Fandom

Ship And Let Ship (SALS)

Much (though not all) fandom is about shipping. There are as many possible ships as there are fans, maybe more. You may have an OTP (One True Pairing), you may have a NOTP, that pairing that makes you want to barf at the very thought of its existence.

It’s not up to you to police ships or to determine what other people are allowed to ship. Just because you find that one particular ship problematic or disgusting, does not mean that other people are not allowed to explore its possibilities in their fanworks.

You are free to create contrarian content, to write meta about why a particular ship is repulsive, to discuss it endlessly on your private blog with like-minded persons.

It is not appropriate to harass creators about their ships, it is not appropriate to demand they do not create any more fanworks about those ships, or that they create fanwork only in a manner that you deem appropriate.

These three laws add up to the following:

You are not paying for fanworks content, and you have no rights to it other than to choose to consume it, or not consume it. If you do choose to consume it, do not then attack the creator if it wasn’t to your taste. That’s the height of bad manners.

This is to your detriment. Your privacy protects you from predators of all kinds. You really should be guarding it carefully. Disclose what you feel is important on a case by case basis, but even your mental health status and beliefs are exploitable by big business and small-time bullies and abusers alike.

Even if you’re not overly fussed about what people know about you, just understand that not everyone has the luxury of feeling the same. Some people have stalkers and abusers they’re trying to evade, or don’t want to attract new abusers into their lives by being that vulnerable and open again. Some people have extreme social anxiety. Some people are protecting other people in their lives. Some people just don’t want their grandmothers to find their smutfics. Some people are Internet privacy advocates who keep their details private as a political statement and as a matter of principle.

I’m not one of those guys who subscribes to the “Man Cave” idea. That theory that once you’re in a relationship, you’re required to forfeit 99% of your own home and be grateful to have one room in which you can be yourself and have your own possessions on display. I think if you’re in a relationship, you have a right to make your home reflect your personality and interests as much your partner does. I’ve run into a couple of instances where a woman thinking a man has no right to his own possessions has not gone over so well and it was hysterical.

I once knew a guy who worked in the telemarketing department of a company I worked at. One Friday night after work, he told me about how he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend.

This guy was like me, very clean and orderly and liked things a certain way but he wasn’t volatile about it or anything. He and his girlfriend decide to have a weekend sleepover at his house, a trial run in his mind for moving in together. She showed up and the red flags sprang up immediately. “Where’s your bag?” he asks. “For a weekend? I don’t need one.” she says. His mind reels. “So you’re not gonna change clothes…or shower…or brush your teeth…?” “No. Why would I do that in just a couple of days?” He tries to be okay about it but then she starts “cooking” and the kitchen looks like a war zone. Then there’s the fact that her B.O. seems to get stronger by the hour.

The last straw comes towards the end of the weekend when she walks around his place, eyes his Elvis Presley memorabilia collection and says “If I lived here, all this Elvis shit would get set out for trash, I’m not wasting space on all that.” When it finally comes time for her to go back home, she says “This was fun! Can’t wait to do it again.” “Yeah, about that…” and he dumped her in his own driveway.

He said if he had to choose between hygiene and an Elvis collection he’s built for years and her, he’s gonna be happier being single, cleaner and having his collectibles around than he would be with her.

Another instance happened when I had a garage sale and one of the things I was selling was a talking football player action figure from the 90s that someone had bought me under the presumption that because I was boy, I was into sports (I was not). The action figure was brand new in the box because that was how little I cared about playing with it despite my mother’s best attempts. A woman shows up, sees the action figure and loses her shit.

“Oh God, I am so sick of seeing these! My husband has the whole set and all I want to do is throw them in the trash!” A guy at the sale overhears this and says “Well, I’m sure your husband has a list of things that he’d like to get rid of that you’re partial to but he doesn’t say anything because that’s the give and take of being in a relationship” She blows him off and says “I should be the one to decide what goes in the house and what he can buy, THAT is how marriage works for ME.” The guy changes his argument. “Maybe on your husband’s list of shit that needs to go, you should be at the top of the list…” Everyone else at the garage sale (including me) was now watching silently and wondering when the throw down would happen…

“What did you say?”, she asks him a bit taken back. “I said if I was him, I wouldn’t take that shit that somehow being married to you means forfeiture of my belongings and personality and substituting it all for your bullshit. I’d sooner throw you out than my action figures.” After picking her jaw up off my driveway, the woman hurumphs and storms back to her car. I high-five the guy for making an excellent point after she leaves.

I have a lot of collectibles myself and am currently in the creative habit of going through my childhood Power Rangers and Pokémon toys and putting the ones I absolutely want to keep in shadow boxes and hanging them on the wall as conversation pieces and selling the rest.

I have Funko Pops. I have lunchboxes. I have special edition magazines and comic books in floater frames on the wall. I have more books than I have time to count or read. I have tub after tub of Halloween and Christmas decorations because that’s my favorite time of year. I would never throw all of this stuff away because I’ve purged plenty already and kept what I wanted to keep. It’s all a reflection of my personality and my story. If someone came into my life and said our life together would mean giving all of this up and doing what he wanted, I would consider that a toxic situation and I would end it before I got in too deep.

Men, gay or straight, can find themselves in toxic, abusive relationships, this is not a phenomenon only experienced by women. It just seems that way because men, especially straight men, rarely speak up about it and mistakenly settle on what they assume is some unchangable default result of being in a relationship. It’s not.

I would never move in with someone and tell them to throw everything out that has been a part of them or spoken to who they are in order to make room for me. I am all about organizing and making a space feel cozy, functional and fun and would go out of my way to make sure we both had space for our things and our personalities and stories. One does not have to overshadow or overpower the other in order to make a relationship between two people work.

Yeah, that last comment, that's how fucked up our society has gotten, because men have to conceal or hide or at best get ONE room to put their stuff in, and even then it's treated as terrible and regressive and should not be allowed. The 'Man Cave' aka the one space in a person's house where they're allowed to express themselves and their hobbies and it's treated as a terrible thing because he's 'excluding' his wife from it, while the things that are in there are NOT ALLOWED ANYWHERE ELSE.

Life on Earth doesn't matter when compared to eternity.

A child of a previous relationship isn't as important as a child of the partner you're currently with.

Trauma makes you who you are, and you shouldn't want to erase that.

Everyone is deserving the chance of redemption, no matter what they do.

The abused will repeat the actions of the abuser.

Free will is an illusion. No matter how much you fight for it, we all end up following God's plan.

If you like your job enough, you won't regret abandoning your child and the woman you love for it.

A parent abandoning their child is acceptable, as long as it's the best thing for them.

I honestly think it’s worse than that, especially if you put Lucifer & Chloe’s S6 ending against God & Goddess’ S5 ending.

God and Goddess were each other’s only and true loves (though Goddess certainly had a sexual appetite and was fond of Dan Espinoza), and they were happy together. Then they had kids and life works, and there was millennia of fighting and separation and neglecting their children, and then at the end they reconcile, and offer no apology or explanation or justification to their children, only saying goodbye to two of them, but it’s okay because they get to be together. Without their children.

If it was part of their intention in the story for Lucifer to visit Chloe on Earth, hold baby Rory, or watch over his family from afar, then we should have seen that on the show. The finale could have been a longer epilogue in which we saw some of these moments. Chloe coming home to flowers and a note from Lucifer. Lucifer going into Rory's room at night when she's a baby to hold her. Lucifer hiding from Rory in Hell when she tries to find him. Lucifer watching his family from a distance while they play on the beach.

But I am unimpressed with these sorts of revelations coming out after the show is done. It feels like an attempt to placate people who didn't like the finale with scraps. And people who didn't like the ending don't need to be told "Well, actually, Joe and Ildy said..." No one should have to rely on Word of God revisions to make sense of the ending.

I'm using Joe and Ildy as an example here, but I'm not trying to trash them specifically. The same thing happens with so many writers/authors. (You know who I'm talking about.) This is common in a lot of media.

If Joe and Ildy need to elaborate on the story after the story has already gone out into the world, it means the storytelling failed on some level. The audience noticed things they failed to take into consideration. You don’t get a do-over via interview tidbits that the vast majority of the show’s watchers will never see. If I rewatch in a year or a decade, I won’t be hunting down interview tidbits. And neither will new viewers.

This film was from the Hays code era, when they couldn’t show an explicitly homosexual character, so this is how the director hinted that this person was gay.

This YA novel was published in a time when publishers wouldn’t publish a black main character for a mostly white audience, so this how the author hinted at their protagonist’s identity in order to get it past the censors.

This thing we are seeing had a different social significance so this is very groundbreaking for it’s time.