livin' on the MCU

Want to meet me in person, wearing any one of my Author Hats?

(Caitlyn Lynch, sexy contemporary or Catherine Bilson, sweet historicals… or even @ozhawkauthor​ , queen of Marvel crackships)

I’m signing at ARRA Brisbane ONLY on Friday 6th March, but entry is FREE as it’s in the Brisbane City Library. You DO have to book a ticket, link here.

Lots of other very fabulous authors will be there too, please take a look at ARRA’s event site for full details!

If you would like to pre-order one of my books - and pre-ordering is pretty essential because I can only physically carry so much - PLEASE fill in my pre-order form by TUESDAY, 18 February. You’ll even get a special free gift!

And yes, you CAN order a paperback copy of the Weird & Wonderful Holiday Romance anthology, also featuring stories by @thebibliosphere​ and @christinaroseandrews​ among others, AND GET IT FOR ONLY AU$25 (less than Amazon’s pricing!!!

“Loneliness“

“Why is 200-something pounds of protection detail trying to smother me into a wall?” Darcy asked around a face full of tactical gear.

The aforementioned protection detail made a soft, rumbly sort of sound and seemed to condense around her like a muscly cloud. She wasn’t in any kind of pain, just pressed between a wall and a man who apparently had less impulse control than her two year old nephew.

“The man currently trying to become one with your hair is one of Fury’s Agents,” Natasha answered, voice smooth and calm.

Mr. Protection Detail Agent stiffened at her words and the rumbly sound got a little growly: a little less happy hum/cat noise and more annoyed dog. He didn’t move but Darcy got the feeling that he was paying a little more attention to his surroundings now than he had a moment ago.

“The triple agents? The Hydra mole types?” Darcy clarified.

“Yes, Brock was one of their success stories.”

“So…serum?” Darcy ventured, patting Mr. Protection Detail on the side. The gesture was meant as half ‘we’re all good here, buddy’ and half ‘but please let me up soon,’ and she wasn’t sure if that had been properly communicated because when he let her go and stepped back he had the strangest look on his face.

“Their experiment was a bit more…crude… then Erskine’s. With the loss of their scientists, they turned more towards the occult.”

Mr. Protection Detail’s eyes flickered for a moment between warm brown and brilliant gold. “You smell like home,” he said hoarsely.

“Uhhh… translation please?” Darcy asked Natasha. The Agent wasn’t fidgeting, per se, but his fingers were flexing a bit at the tips and he was leaning in towards her in a way that made her think she was going to be getting hugged again, and soon.

“Congratulations, I think you will be very happy together,” Natasha said.

The biggest thing is probably setting your own expectations. Know that you will never, ever, ever have the kind of response that a big ship in a big fandom will get. It’s just not going to happen so don’t stress about it when it doesn’t. 

After that, I think it’s really important to make friends. Find other people who like your ship. Convince other friends from the wider fandom to take a look at your ship. Work with other people to create exchanges or events for your ship. Reach out to artists and giffers and vidders about your ship.  

You can’t make all of the content yourself, so finding other people in your fandom who are open to other ships and happy to help you fill out your tag is one way to feel less lonely. And a bonus of that is that there will be more stuff out there for people to find and that will help more people start to think about your ship. 

And here’s a really encouraging thought for you; the (admittedly maybe only a few) fans of your rarepair(s) are SO DAMN THIRSTY for content that they won’t care in the slightest little bit about quality. You’re not being measured against 1,000 other fanfic authors and artists some of whom, by the law of averages, are bound to be RIDICULOUSLY good.

You’re being measured against MAYBE three other people. At most. And even if you ARE objectively the worst of those three, your content is STILL giving those desperately thirsty fans a drink. Yeah, it might be plain water instead of expensive champagne, but hell, in a desert that plain water tastes REAL good.

And no. It’s Steve.

“How in the hell did you convince them that Captain America is a Nazi?”

And that’s the best part.

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This feels so horrible and pathetic compared to people who can’t afford their insulin or put food on the table, but he’s my kid. I want to give him everything he deserves, every chance to get ahead in life, and I’m in tears here trying to figure out how the hell I can make this happen and I have to somehow pull myself together and go to work today.

I’m really tired of having to hold myself together and put on a brave face when the financial stressors are piling up and burying me, so… if I came home this evening and found even a few book sales, I’d be forever grateful.

You can find my sexy contemporaries here

What is Fitz and Clint knew each other from way back.

Fitz was visiting Operations and said something too smart to a musclehead, he was about to get a very physical reminder of what happened on the elementary school playground, when Clint dropped out of the rafters. He had no patience for the wet-behind-the-ears-think-they-are-so-smart-because-they-medals crew that in his new recruit class at Operations and this looks like the perfect opportunity to put them in their place.

Fitz is kind of in awe of his unexpected guardian angel and talks Clint’s ear off the whole time babbling the way only Fitz can when he’s too excited to actually think. And Clint is only half listening until Fitz starts talking about how he could modify that bow so that it has more tensile strength when it’s collapsed so that he could use it in a pinch to shoot before expanding it.

Clint asks questions.

He’s not book smart, but he knows a lot about bows and they have a fascinating conversation.

It’s the start of an unlikely friendship carried on mostly by email and online chat because they aren’t in circles that cross paths very often.

Year one

Fitz tells Clint all about how great the Academy is.

Clint tells Fitz all about how boring his new handler is. Agent Coulson is just a suit who probably couldn’t find his way out of a shopping mall without a map. Only good for paperwork. 

Year two

Fitz tells Clint that being the smartest kid is still kind of lonely but the tech is great.

Clint tells Fitz that his handler might not be so bad after all. Turns out he does know he way around a gun and when everything went to hell, he still stayed as calm and cool as he is in his overly air conditioned office. Clint is a little impressed.

Year three

Fitz tells Clint how amazing his new lab partner is. Jemma is the sun and the stars and everything brilliant.

Clint tells Fitz he needs to get laid.

Fitz gets back at Clint by asking him how his cool-under-fire-handler is these days

Clint is embarrassed about the three page answer he types up without even trying. He deletes it all and just sends “He’s good.”

Fitz tells Clint he is ridiculous

Year four

Fitz writes Clint a fourteen page diatribe about the foolishness of abandoning his role and risking everything with SHIELD for a woman

Clint asks Fitz what he would do if it was Jemma

Fitz: You can’t love her. You just met her.

Clint: I don’t love her. Not like that. But she needed someone and I couldn’t be the guy who killed a woman in cold blood when she looked like she had nothing to live for

Fitz: what did Coulson say about it?

Clint: He defended me against the review board like I was a damned hero. But he hasn’t said two words to me that weren’t on the record since I got back.

Fitz: have you apologized for going rogue?

Clint: I didn’t go rogue!

Fitz: I’m not even going to dignify that with a response

Clint: I wasn’t going rogue on him. I was going rogue on SHIELD. Besides. It’s obvious he doesn’t care about me as more than an agent. If he did he’d be glad I’m back.

Fitz: I might be love’s bitch when it comes to Jemma, but at least I’m man enough to admit it

Clint:… Buffy? You’re quoting Buffy at me?

Fitz: I KNEW YOU’D WATCH IT *cheers* you loved the whole show right?

Clint: no one can ever know I know you. You’re turning me into a dweeb

Fitz: You’d make an amazing dweeb. Besides, I bet Coulson watched Buffy.

Clint: He’s more of a comic book super hero kind of guy

Fitz: There’s a lot of blending between the two. He might be impressed by your Buffy knowledge

Clint: he’d have to talk to me again to be impressed by it :(

Fitz: I know this is usually your line, but you need to get laid

year five

Fitz: Jemma has a crush on her professor. It’s disguisting. He’s at least ten years older than her

Clint: Coulson is dating a cellist. He’s got a damn picture in his wallet

year six

Clint: Coulson requested me to join him in New Mexico

Fitz: That’s good! It took over a year, but you’re finally out of the dog house

Clint: I’m terrified I”m going to fuck it up. 

Fitz: You’ll be fine

year seven

Fitz: Jemma and I got fasttracked again! We are going to graduate next month!

Clint:

Fitz: Clint, are you there?

Clint: you spent the whole last week locked up in your lab didn’t you?

Fitz: yes…. why? What did I miss?

Clint: Coulson died and aliens destoryed new york

Fitz:… I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry

Clint: It’s my fault. Look, they probably aren’t going to let me near a computer any time soon. Take care of yourself okay? And say something to Jemma before you lose your chance. I know I wish I had.

year eight

The Avengers are still a thing, and he’s busy, but he doesn’t stop looking. And one day, when stalking a possible HYDRA base, he sees that girl Fitz is sweet on, Simmons, exiting the building.

Okay, there’s definitely something going on here and… oh shit, is that Bobbi? 

Yes, that IS his ex-wife. What the heck is going on here? Oh yeah, something is definitely wrong here. 

But Simmons should be able to tell him what happened to Fitz - from how the lad spoke about her, they were always attached to the hip or something. But despite what Nat’ might say about him, he’s smart enough not to ruin her probably-undercover mission (for Fitz’s sake, he hopes the girl is not really HYDRA, and if she is and had something to do with his engineer friend getting hurt, Clint is going to kill her himself.).

So he waits.

 And when shit happens, he manages to hitch a ride on the Quintjet. 

And savours the look on his ex-wife’s face when he suddenly appears amongst them, a gun to her head and the other pointed at Simmons.

And I really, really shouldn’t (cue previous too much work for college, and I want to try my hand at NaNoWriMo this year).

But I really, really want to… 

Thor damn it.

So, I am deeply disorganized person. I have ADD and executive dysfunction; I get bored incredibly quickly with the mundane and will invent lots of complicated reasons why I can’t or needn’t do something.

This becomes a problem when you’re 3 years behind on your tax returns, for example *ahem* (looks shifty).

So a while back, I instigated what I call the 5 Things Method. It might not work for you. Mileage may vary. The Things you can do will vary depending on your amount of spoons/amount of available time. But this is how I do it.

1. Get a pad of sticky notes. The regular 3-inch square ones work for me.

2. On one note, write down 5 things you need to do. They need to be SMALL tasks which you can complete in NO MORE THAN 15 minutes each. If it’s a big thing like “do my taxes” break it down into small tasks. Here’s mine for tomorrow…

(photo of a post-it note with list of 5 items on it: Pay car insurance, Clean shower, Finish reading book, Write book review, Drop forms off to Liz)

3. Choose the quickest thing to do. The one that’ll only take a couple minutes. Do that one as soon as you possibly can and cross it off. You’ll get a nice little buzz of satisfaction. Do a little victory dance!

4. Choose the most URGENT thing. The one that really HAS to get done ASAP. (In the example above, it’s the car insurance. It’s due in 2 days.) Do that one and cross it off. The relief you’ll feel will be HUGE.

5. While you’re on a high, pick one of the three remaining things and do it. Cross it off, and look at that! You’re more than half done!

(gif: couple jumping on a bed, spraying champagne)

6. If you are out of spoons/time/energy, that’s OK. You got more than half done. Today was a BIG win (especially if you’re just starting at this).

7. If you CAN do the 2 remaining things, go ahead and do them, or at least one of them, and give yourself all the pats on the back. You did really, really well.

8. If you’ve got energy or inclination for one or two more little things? Well. You’re literally a legend. YOU GO, YOU WONDROUS HUMAN!

9. Get a fresh post-it note and write tomorrow’s 5 things. If you have anything left from today, you must carry them forward, but your total is still only 5 things.

… and here’s the kicker.

10. You MUST do those things you carried forward from yesterday FIRST. What this means is nothing gets to hang around long enough to become a monkey on your back. It’s done, no more than 48 hours after you put it on that list. Isn’t that a HUGE relief?

I personally throw out my ‘finished’ post-it notes when I’m done with them, but you could, idk, stick them on a spike on your desk or something? So you can look at the growing pile with satisfaction? I like the satisfaction of throwing them out because they’re DONE, but this is a personal choice thing. You might like to write them in a planner for permanent record, but, uh, if you’re the kind of organized person who keeps a planner, you might not need this method.

How you use this is up to you. At least in the beginning, I recommend giving yourself at least a couple of ‘easy wins’ every day. Stuff you were gonna do anyway, but now you get to triumphantly cross it off. Try to always prep the ‘tomorrow’ note before you go to bed and put it where you’ll see it first thing in the morning.

If you miss a day, or a week, or a month? Not the end of the world. Start a fresh note and get going again. Get that to-do list, not just under control, but OBLITERATED. You can do it! I believe in you!

Hey guys. Okay, so, a few weeks ago one of my coworkers asked me this question. And it has been bothering me ever since. 

Y’see, there’s this problem about explaining fanfiction, or fandom for that matter, to people who have never been a part of this culture. And, no, I don’t think that culture is too grandiose a term. The problem is everyone wants to rationalize fanfiction, justify its existence. Anyone who is not a part of fandom, literally any fandom, wants you to explain why you use your time this way, why you create this way, and why you feel entitled to do so. People struggle over basic things like creation existing outside of monetary gain or copyright, but even that’s not the intrinsic thing outside people don’t understand. 

I spent minutes trying to explain to my coworkers why as they pestered me with the same series of comments we’ve all been called to answer a hundred times before, “Why do you do that?” “But it’s not yours!””Who don’t you write your own work?” “That character wouldn’t do that!” etc, etc. And between trauma flashbacks to 2004 when I was 12 years old and we had the wars of What Is And Is Not In Character, I realized what the problem is: fanfiction is for fun. 

That’s it, plain and simple. I do it because it’s fun. You do it too! You draw or write or read or make or remix or whatever! You participate because it’s fun! That’s really all there is to it. And you and I don’t ask for more reason than that. But I was talking to outsiders. 

And here I should explain that I work in a college. I was talking to academics. Hell, I am an academic, I teach college English. And English professors, god help me, English professors are the absolute WORST at justifying fanfiction. You get two flavors of English professor when it comes to fandom: 1) that’s stealing or 2) that’s deconstruction. If the first, fuck you, I don’t have time for your precious proprietary sensibilities, learn what derivative means and then tell me if your near-and-dears are so goddamn original. If the second, I love ya, pal, and I know you’re trying, but you do too much. You do too much. 

For all of us in fandom, we understand that for every meta-critique, every genderqueer retelling, every better rewriting of a poorly articulated story, there are fifty hackneyed, hand-on-the-crotch, author-kink-specific “adult content” fics (Just in case tumblr got any ideas about censoring this post). And THAT’S NOT A BAD THING!

If you haven’t yet, you will meet people who will go out of their way to defend fanfiction’s literary qualities, but they Bowdlerize it! Sanitize! Clean! Purify. Intentional or not, and sometimes it is definitely intentional, many people feel that in order to justify and defend fanfiction, they must eliminate the porn, forego the smut, ignore the self-indulgent, half-crazed teenage lust that is the life’s blood of fanfiction. And that is some hypocritical, restrictive horseshit. Never mind the fan that chooses to throw the first stone, but what a fundamental misrepresentation on behalf of the authority! 

One of my favorite professors of all time offered fanfiction as an assignment option in every one of her classes. But she always did this with this fundamental misunderstanding of what fanfiction is and what it is for. Yes it CAN be incredible critical thought. Yes it CAN be a literary revolution. Yes, yes, yes. But it is not only this. And it always made me cringe to listen to her sing fanfiction’s praises without embracing all of the gutter trash that is my heritage, my home. I am by no means saying that fanfiction should not do all the meta-analysis and social critique that it can, will, and does do. But that is not all that fanficiton is nor should it be. Fanfiction is also the 18th coffeeshop AU you’ve read for the same ship. Fanfiction is also the soulmates AU for your rarepair. It’s the LOTR crossover. It’s the character death fic that serves no purpose but to make you sad. And it’s the OOC crack nightmare that you wrote at 4 am when you were 13 and don’t share with anyone, but it gave you joy to write. I will never defend fanfic without defending these also. 

And this is what my coworkers struggled with when I tried to explain. They could not accept this simple fact that fanfiction exists, primarily, for joy. And I would not treat fanfiction as high art existing only to hold a mirror up to media. Absolutely fuck that ivory tower bullshit. And they could not wrap their heads around enjoying this. 

One of them understood why I might write fic, but did not understand why I might want to read another’s. For this I can only cite his ego as the reason he would perhaps not like to read from someone else’s imagination. Another insisted that I ought to write my own work, rather than manipulate someone else’s characters. And this was someone who espoused death of the author and freedom from censorship! But still I could not convince her why it would be fun to play around in someone else’s sandbox. And the answer I gave at the time was not what I wanted it to be. I played it off as cowardice, fear of judgment about my own work. And, to be fair, that is one of the reasons I balk at original fiction, but again, fanfiction needs no justification! It is NOT second best! It is a full and legitimate art form in its own right, requiring new and different skills every bit as nuanced and delicate and time-consuming to acquire as those for any other kind of writing. Social acceptance does not make a creation good. Nor does profit or being studied by institutions. These things are accolades and easily recognized to mean value, but they themselves are not what make a creation good. You already know what does that.

That’s usually all it takes.

If they want to fight about canonicity or IC/OOC, I start “Lancelot was a Gary Stu added by sexists. Guinevere would never!” wank.

I have never met an academic who was able to resist both of these lures.

100% true. And I, personally, gladly accept any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism of my work; pointing out spelling, grammatical errors, even a polite discussion of how the reader thinks I may have mischaracterized someone.

Where comments cross the line, for me - and this is different for all authors - is when the commentor veers over into personal criticism.

‘I don’t like…’ invariably presages something that’s, even if not designed to be hurtful, comes across that way.

As for the mental health part of your comment, well, that’s something very individual. I know writers who can’t deal with anything that’s not positive. It varies from writer to writer. As a general rule, I personally believe that the reader should only leave constructive criticism if invited to do so.

Otherwise, we go back to that Rule of Manners again.

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything.

Personally, I try to live by that one. And the world would be a whole lot nicer place if everyone else did the same.

Many fanfic writers, myself included, aspire to turn professional one day and get paid realmoneyz for doing what we love. We NEED constructive criticism; we need to grow thick skins, because if we succeed, one day critics are going to write bitchy reviews and we need to be able to shrug it off.

However, many fanfic writers are doing this for their own pleasure. They know well that they’ll likely never get published, and frankly the idea of doing so, of putting their work out for sale and KNOWING those critics are out there with their knives sharpened, fills them with terror.

Anything other than a kind word could (and has, I’ve heard from people who have suffered this) send them back into their writing shell for months, if not for ever. And that’s just cruel.

So yeah. This might be my personal etiquette, but I believe it’s one that all fandom should subscribe to.

If invited to critique a writer’s work, then you should feel free to do so, in a positive and encouraging manner.

Do you read in Kindle Unlimited?

(If not, did you know you can get a month’s FREE trial?)

May 23-Victor Creed/Darcy Lewis super fluffy! Where Darcy is pregnant with their first child and is cravings something but can’t figure out what. Victor then goes out and brings back a dead deer, which at first freaks Darcy and the other avengers out, but then Victor gives her a bite of it to eat and she realizes it’s exactly what she was craving, making Victor very happy that he’s providing for his mate and cub., for @luminescentlily​

Written by @ozhawkauthor

… I couldn’t quite make myself write a pregnant woman eating raw meat. Sorry. This is as close as you get.

“It’s… actually really good,” Jane said, her tone surprised.

Darcy eyed the piece of steak Jane was cutting into. “I’ve never tried venison.”