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people on here make ocs and they're mostly men and they ship characters and they're always men and they have favourite characters and they're always men but sometimes they say the men are like women not trans ones though because that would be guh-ross and harsh the vibe of the #fandomspace and they write fanfiction about men and talk about how complicated and #deeplywritten their male favs are and they'll watch movies and tv shows with mostly male casts in every way that matters and not question it because well what do you want them to do about it and they don't even care that that's what they're doing to them it's pure coincidence they always like the male characters better it's pure chance that women are only interesting as yaoi cheerleaders and actually when they write female characters as yaoi cheerleaders they're doing them a favour because they were just so poorly written in the source material it's the charitable thing to do men men men men men men men and if you say anything about it well you're being a killjoy you're being no fun you're being homophobic you're being a misandrist god what is it about women right what is it about women always trying to ruin our fun? why do they care so much? they're just women. who wants to think about women at all.
what if you were madly in love with your childhood best friend, inseparable, you did everything together, you raised his little sister together as your surrogate daughter, you slept in the same bed, you worked the same jobs, you lived in the same flat, and he accidentally incinerates a museum/opera house and causes thirty million marks of damage so you enter into a shady life long slavery contract with your boss to pay off his debts that essentially turns you into his on-demand assassin (or worse) and when that boss wages war on the federal government you are mandated via your previously aforementioned contract to fight for his cause and then you actually win and he overthrows the ministry and becomes a dictator, because of you. and you become the leader of the new fascist military. and are rich beyond your wildest imagination. and because you can, you promote your childhood BFF to a new imaginary government title where his only expectation is to make art, which he loves to do. and then your childhood BFF is suddenly not cool with this anymore even though you were doing this all for him. because 'war is bad' and 'fascism is bad' and your new boss is 'evil'. so, naturally, you kill his sister and lock him in the torture dungeon,
okay I have more to add to the pile. So firstly this childhood friend does sex work (but will never like sucking your dick ye fuckin LOOSER) and he fucks a Bishop and his wife.
Remember when you were a soldier and dying after the war that traumatised you for life? Yea that. Well while you were getting miraculously cut open by the surgeon thanks to bureaucratic mishandling of medical files, your childhood bestie who you're in love just met this guy. In the very boatship you're fighting for your life in.
Also he always comes home to you and his sister smelling of that one cologne which also happen to be your boss's too. And btw you're doing the cooking and the cleaning and they're never ever including you in their plans and stories about fucking off from the city. But you know your bestie is a liar so it's all right (is it?)
So naturally, you lock him tf up to play dolls with him in the cell and have dinner like nothing ever happened and you pay him harpsichord to hear him tell you he loves and forgives you and also perhaps you pay him so he sucks your dick too but that's perhaps reading too much between the lines. Fascism? well it is what it is eh (you adopted a teenager so she can craft forgetting drugs for you and yeah that's it that's what you're doing now you're putting it on and forgetting about everything and-and--you don't have ties to anyone; you are nothing but Tiliard's Marshal.)
Is this Maximian Sorav apology or hate train idk?? I like him a lot
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I read the works of vermin per your recommendation and I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on all the relationship fuckery going on with the main cast. Particularly Guy's time as an atticwife.
IT'S ALL SO GOOD. I feel like "relationships where people love each other but don't understand each other" is one of the core themes of the book. Rest under a cut for spoilers!
Dawn and Guy love each other dearly, but they never really seem to TALK about their expectations of this relationship (especially when it comes to sex.) Dawn of course seems to have almost NO IDEA what Guy actually values, or if he does, then he thinks Guy should have different values. He doesn't understand Guy's relationship with the bishop, he doesn't understand or agree with what Guy wants for Tyro...
And of course Guy and Tyro. My god. It's so painful bc what's going on w her* is SO OBVIOUS but Guy just doesn't get it. He loves that kid with every fiber of his being but he kind of fucking sucks as a parent, which makes sense given his background, but doesn't do poor Tyro any favors. All of his attempts to coddle and spoil her are aimed towards the generic girl he thinks she is, and not who she actually is or what she actually wants, and his attempts to keep her safe end up just frustrating her and driving her into the exact situation he was trying to keep her out of.
Then when we've got Dawn-as-Sorav we see him repeating the same patterns as before. He loves Florian and Aster, I fully believe it, same as he loves Guy, but his love is a grasping and controlling I-know-what's-best-for-you sort of love. He paternalizes Aster and he lets Florian run wild (something something echoes of Guy and Tyro...) and in the end he loses both of them because there's no honesty or sense of safety or boundaries for either of them there.
And then Elspeth and Aster... you are what people call you, you are the stories they tell about you. Elspeth is a rich beautiful inconstant socialite and that role precludes an honest relationship between her and Aster. It isn't until Mallory comes swinging in and starts wrecking things that the two of them are able to have an honest relationship.
MALLORY god. King of lying to everyone. Bisexual poly legend. Doggedly pursuing the brother he lost AND, finally, some fucking honesty.
Guy and the bishop and bishop's wife... his care for them and desire to be part of their life, the way they ultimately let him down, and yet how that relationship he forged saved Mallory's ass...
And of course Guy's time as an atticwife is. My god. Dawn what is WRONG with you. I realize this was him maybe making the best of a bad situation to try and keep Guy alive at any costs (lots of thematic overlap with my recent oc stuff) but for the love of God. And he seems so completely unable to recognize why Guy is mad at him. It's so sad because he loves Guy so much and yet his love is so corrosive.
ETA: OH AND ALSO THE ALMOST SEX SCENE. GOD. so emblematic of what's wrong between Dawn and Guy. The moment where Guy thinks about how he's always aware of how much bigger and stronger Dawn is but hasn't been afraid of it until now... Dawn's sense of rejection and hurt, Guy's inability to explain his feelings here or what Dawn means to him regardless of sex, even the misunderstanding of Dawn asking what his going rate is and thinking his silence is further rejection when he just literally doesn't know how to answer the question...!
UGHHHHHH THIS WHOLE POST is my everything. This is the book of all times to me--I don't care that it's maximalist and weirdly weaved together and that the characters are not as fleshed out as they could be in a long series. But. My god. The themes.... The THEMES! The parallels..... I'm foaming at the mouth. It's haunting me and can never leave my head, I. Am unwell about it 🧍
This post! Everything. Ugh, Guy and Dawn, ugh. The bit about Guy and Tyro is so good and exactly what I thought, because, well, the plot kinda tries to make you think Guy is a good and better parent to Tyro than Dawn is and really I can never agree with that. They both fucking suck!!!!!
They're just so different and see someone different in Tyro (never see the real her*), and they try to raise her to become that person: Guy wants Tyro to have the life he didn't have so he doesn't want her to work and just wants her to be loved and cherished by her parents. He also doesn't fight with Dawn because his mother and father fought imo. Lots of daddy and mommy issues slapped into this boy's head fr. And Dawn wants Tyro to become like him because he survived thanks to discipline, leaving childhood at an early stage and seeing "the real world for what it is", he always assumes the worse but also assumes she has to live through the worse to strive. (and she does, and that's why mal says he owes everything to him, in a way, because it's what happened and it was still so wrong and horrible.)
I think both opinions make so so so much sense giving their circumstances!
The bit about Maximian and Florian paralleling Guy and Tyro KILLED ME. destroyed. because Florian is his second try....
So yes... This book being "I love you and I will never admit I don't understand you" aghhhhh!!! agh !!!
Maximian and Asteritha. I need to sit with this one because it's just so good--he obviously cares for her as a father and Asteritha thinks of herself as his daughter BUT look how she always thinks of herself his employee first. How she can never turn to him when she is unwell because of the fear he sends her back to the Sanitarium, how she can never turn to him when she is sad about her parents because he's the one responsible for their death. And Maximian always thinks of himself being unable to get mayfly to help with the numbing before anything else.
It's just transactions because when the names & affections drop they think everything is transaction and work and everyone is entitled to a job's product or a pay.
real healthy uninterested love can never be a transaction, hell yeah hiron ennes!
The outsiders book vs musical is so funny introducing johnny cause in the musical its like "thats my best friend in the whole world!" and in the book it's like "johnny is basically like if you took a kicked traumatized puppy and made it into a person"
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it's really fun analyzing leech because usually when i do analysis for fun it's of a kid's show or a kid's book and it's kind of like wowwwww im reading way too deep into this (not that that's a problem but i do know that the way im reading it and the themes im drawing for it are definitely a lot heavier and deeper than what was actually intended)
but with leech i feel like whether or not it was the author's intention, the themes that i took away were fully present in the story and the seriousness of my analysis matches the seriousness of the source material
musing about some themes in leech by hiron ennes (under the cut because spoilers)
i think its so interesting how didier parallels the institute. it was something i didn't really notice while reading, but it seems so obvious in hindsight! both didier and the institute show how those in power perceive those below them as expendable and replaceable (with didier it's social class and with the institute it's humanity as an inferior life form)
there's this repeated point didier will just replace anybody in his service because all he needs is the labor they provide/the function they fill in his life or in the chateau. (the doctor, emile, helene, etc.). they're not really people to him, and even if they are, they're all replacable. it was really haunting that emile wants to kill didier not just because of what's been done to him and the fact that didier will likely hunt him to the ends of the earth, but the knowledge that if didier fails to get emile, he'll simply find a replacement, subjecting another person to his twisted desire
and this directly parallels the way the institute treats its bodies and humans as a whole, just a vessel that serves a purpose. its bodies are valuable and a shame to lose, but an acceptable loss that it'll simply replace eventually. they're not autonomous beings but replaceable parts of itself.
additionally, the institute treats the loss of human knowledge/culture (as well as human life) as inconsequential as long as it allows them to carve out a niche. it's not really addressed, but given how much alternative medicine in our world is tied to distinct cultural practices (i.e. acupuncture), to get rid of those practitioners and then take what knowledge/information and fold that knowledge into the institute without preserving any of the culture behind it feels like such a violation. there's definitely some kind of colonial metaphor here that i'm too tired to fully explore. when i first read that detail it just felt like a fun worldbuilding tidbit but thinking about it more makes me incredibly sad about what it actually means for the settlements the institute infiltrates.
and then obviously this leads both didier and the institute to ignore the autonomy of those under them (with didier you can mostly see this with emile but also helene to a lesser extent, and with the institute it's the way they infect their hosts and kill/manipulate to get their competition out of the way
i just finished leech and i spent roughly 60% of the book thinking Emile was 12 because they kept on referring to him as a houseboy ...
super interesting book! i really liked the perspective fuckery, and the themes of bodily autonomy and corporatization of medical care and dehumanization by those in power and the way the title is intimately connected to the book !!!
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how do you distinguish grey from other colours beyond black and wite?
Distinguishing features of moral beige:
The protagonist is constantly agonising over Hard Choices; however, circumstances always conspire to prevent them from actually having to make those choices, so in practice they're just angsting over stuff they might have done.
The text exhibits a recurring pattern whereby the protagonist seems to to have made a Hard Choice, but new information is reliably revealed shortly thereafter which retroactively establishes that whatever they did was the morally upright course after all.
The protagonist's moral impulses are straightforwardly heroic, except in one specific context which lacks any clear real-world analogue; for example, being prejudiced against telepaths.
The protagonist's actions are consistently reasonable based on the information available to them – they're merely operating on bad information basically all the time due to a bizarre conspiracy and/or a series of increasingly implausible misunderstandings.
The protagonist always ends up doing the right thing (for some fuzzy value of "right"), but, like, they're really grumpy about it.
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