Alex!!!

strange icon on my dash BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BAoh hang on. sniff sniff lick sniff. sniff. mutual. carry on

Please stop he is drowning.....

Living alone leads to habits that you don’t realize are weird until you stay with someone else and have to suppress them.

I’m staying with family right now and I can’t just go “AUGH” like a peanuts character in the middle of the night just because I feel like it. I also can’t lick cooking utensils anymore because other people are gonna be eating that. And I can’t rant to my Swedish horse because I left that at home and also ranting to an inanimate object in the middle of the house would make me look insane.

I was talking to my aunt about this because she also lives alone and we agree that when you start living alone you need to start making more noises when you do things like grunting when you get up and yelling at annoying inanimate objects because you need to fill the space somehow. But when suddenly other people are around you’re now in the habit of whistling whenever you open a cabinet and people who have never lived alone don’t understand what you’re doing.

If you ever stay with somebody who lives alone for a few days and they start randomly doing squats in the middle of the kitchen and clicking their teeth or making noises at birds outside, just let them. Believe it or not those are methods of preserving sanity. Shaking the fridge and demanding it give you answers is a shield against the impeding darkness.

Why do you have an inanimate horse in the middle of the house

Family tradition.

im grilling absolute cheese

Someone else come fuck that guy for me

your demeanor has displeased the great boar at the center of the world

i keep wondering when someones gonna write a post about how using family guy screenshots for jokes is problematic because family guy is irredeemable media and every single person scrambles to delete their posts with peter griffin images on them and then rbs the callout and tags it like ‘#i didnt want to say anything but yeah its kinda :/‘

This dock is holding a Greg on it’s Held. If you even care

?

being an ant would fucking suck. there’s an animal called an anteater, that’s not even like a nickname.