curious

AUTUMN: Interested to know what line or moment [from the séance] you felt was to you the most gut-wrenching and searing?

DELAINEY: There's quite a few in that sequence. But I think, if I had to pick... Obviously you would not say this kind of stuff to strangers, she's saying it to her family, you know? And you say stuff to your family. But for me, I think what really made me upset is the calling for Madeline at the end. When I read that, I was like, this is so unfair. Short end of the stick, her whole life...

AUTUMN: It is!

DELAINEY: ...and alone again, you know?

AUTUMN: I know! And it's so heartbreaking because... she's there without Madeleine, and yet who is sitting before her, who always gets to come back to each other round and round again?

DELAINEY: That's one of the first things she says as well is, 'Oh, you're back with him.' and it's like, 'Oh, another night. There you go.'

AUTUMN: You see, I was very curious about that line and that delivery, because I love how the seance starts off with Merrick channeling Claudia's voice and her eyes change - such a wonderful detail. And of course she starts out addressing Lestat but admonishing Louis, and Lestat kind of corrects her eye line and she glances over at him, but her eyes return back to Lestat and she asks like, 'You're back with him.' Louis takes that question to mean she's talking to him, but she is looking at Lestat. Like do you think that... who was she asking here? Or does it matter?

DELAINEY: I don't think it matters. I mean I have my own opinion, but I don't want to put that out there cause then sometimes that's taken as like, factuality. When we as actors are also open to discussions, you know?

AUTUMN: Well yeah! But I mean, being open to discussion– I feel like the fans are smart enough to know that it is up to interpretation. If you feel so inclined to share, I would be very interested to know your opinion on this as the actor behind Claudia.

DELAINEY: Yeah, I think when filming it, I think she says it to Louis. But now looking at from an outsider's perspective and a viewer, I think it's to either or. Like, 'How pathetic that the both of you are next to each other again? What a shock!', you know.

AUTUMN: I mean, do you think there was ever any part of her that would expect anything different though? Does she actually think like, 'Are you serious?' Is there any element of her that is surprised?

DELAINEY: Yeah, I think there is. And I think Claudia kind of hangs on to the hope that Louis would find it, or take the initiative and find it and do better and make a good choice. But he never really does. And like, down to the diary situation, again he doesn't... seek out to hurt people or make the wrong decisions. He just is Louis, and that's what he does. So, I think when she sees that they're back together, I think there's a nanosecond of shock and then in her head she's like, 'Wait, why am I shocked? Like, of course. It's no other than Yes and Absolutely.' And because they're together, they kind of create this safe bubble for each other– When I say 'yes and absolutely', it's like... Louis would say 'Yes' and Lestat would say 'Absolutely'. It's like the blind leading the blind, you know? And after they finish the séance scene, they walk in the park and they're just like, '(Tiny sigh)' I'm like, sorry?! You should be crying, balling yourself up in the corner, rocking back and forth! But because they're together, they kind of are each other's companion and, as much as we don't want to say it, they do balance each other out, they feel safe with each other and they kind of just like 'Oh, that was a lot.' And it's like, no!! Actually listen to her again!

AUTUMN: Right?! And I think too with Madeleine -her accusation towards the end-, I loved that shift where she is pointedly talking about Louis and Lestat's failure in life, but then also she does ask, 'You hug one out for Madeleine?' because it's like, 'Once again, you guys have reanimated me into this new form again to solve whatever's going on between you two and haven't given a consideration to what was most important to me.'

DELAINEY: Absolutely.

AUTUMN: And it's such a such a damning way to go out.

DELAINEY: Yeah, it is. But again, that is why I love Claudia, she is just a traumatic character and that is her and there's so much beauty in that, but there is so much pain at the same time. 

AUTUMN: So much pain. I am interested with you talking about Louis and the diaries and all of that there, and her hoping that maybe he would come to, and break out of his cycles and everything... cause we have this huge revelation where she's saying she hates him more than anyone else and above everything else. And maybe this is me getting a little too woo-woo about it, but do you think that she always– that level of hate was always present? Or do you think that's something that's like, within the afterlife seeing how much he still holds on to her and her memory and going through her personal effects and hanging her dead dress on the wall?

DELAINEY: Yeah, no, I think it was built over time, that anger. I think obviously she's had time to look back at her life and Louis is always there, you know? So I think it's a thing that's built time and it's like, 'How dare you? You needed a bit of closure, so you called me. You didn't actually like–' I don't know, I feel like if he called her on like a random Tuesday by himself, I feel like there would have been more of a discussion. But, 'He called me up. And ooh, and you've brought him. Fantastic.' She doesn't want to hear anybody else's voice. She doesn't want to hear anybody speak right now. It's like, 'Let me– Now that you've called me, you're going to hear what I have to say.' ...But, they still don't. So. It's painful.

AUTUMN: One of the more cathartic moments for me within the whole séance scene and everything was when Claudia rejects the idea that Louis going after Bruce was anything more than about Louis solving something within himself. And she kind of looks over to Lestat, and that made me think of something you mentioned back in season 2 where you had said that you've thought Claudia would maybe imagine moments where like, 'What if Lestat was here and could take my side in this argument against Louis and everything like that?' so I'm wondering, does she look to Lestat in this particular moment kind of as the parent who didn't go through her diaries and exploit her trauma, or do you think there is a moment of connection where she kind of is like, 'We've had this similar experience of violation between the two of us' Because in the show, you know, she does tell Louis that she doesn't believe Lestat's backstory with Magnus and everything. But, I'm curious if you think that there she comes to a point where maybe she does acknowledge that within Lestat's story, and if that was a moment of connection for her there.

DELAINEY: ...I think there's definitely um, a moment of connection there, however! I did get asked if I feel like the séance scene is Lestat's version of the séance. And how she doesn't really rip into him as much as she does with Louis. And I was like, oh that's interesting! That's what I mean, I love it. It's a conversation. Interesting perspective. I think they definitely, and I've said this before, they definitely have similarities. And in her head, she's like, 'Noted. However, I still don't like you.' (Laughs) She will never speak these words out loud, though. And then like, when I reflect on Stained Glass Eyes... that was like, romanticised as well! Like, his whole grief and seeing her slowly walk up and enjoy the song. So I think that's an interesting conversation to have, whether the same scene was how it went down, you know.

AUTUMN: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think I've seen so much talk about like, with the season, Louis being an unreliable narrator. Who's to say– Lestat is not any more reliable! [Delainey scoffs] So, yeah, it is all still up for discussion. Um–

DELAINEY: And it's like– Sorry, go on.

AUTUMN: This is your interview. You take it, you take it.

DELAINEY: I was saying it's like– the truth kind of plays another character in this show, you know? And it's always lingering there, but you never really hear it. And it's like, 'What is the truth?' But it's always there, you know? It's whether we as the audience get it. Yeah, we've never– We don't know the truth. And will we ever know the truth of anybody's story? No. (Laughs) I've no idea!

AUTUMN: No, cause It's intangible thing. It doesn't exist, really.

DELAINEY: Yeah, true.

AUTUMN: So, talking about Lestat and everything, because she does address him eventually. She lays it on really hard on Louis, but then she does address Lestat, and we do have this moment where she reveals that like, yeah, she made up the whole train story. [Delainey shuts her eyes, turns her face away and plugs her ears] (Laughs) This piece of information that Lestat has been– very notably taken issue with. I mean, why do you think she does reveal in this moment that yeah, that was her, she made it up, and that she like... why does she need it to be so known that she bested Lestat?

DELAINEY: Hahh, this is a hard question! Cause me, when I read that... obviously I know the truth... but when I read that, I was like, no! I don't want to hear that right now. But I think it's like her being like– obviously she's dead right now, so I think there are many reasons why she said this, but one of them could be like, 'Oh, you don't know that I one upped you though. Even though I'm here, look at me, I'm actually very intelligent, but you never gave me credit, Louis.' But then, another reason she said it is because she's extremely hurt right now, and you say things when you're hurt. And she just wanted to let them know that. Me, I combatted with this... this scene a lot (Laughs). And I don't want to hear anything! I just think Claudia can do no wrong. To me. So like, me as a viewer and a fan of the show, I like crumbled, and I was like, noo. But... I'm doing that thing where it's like... I'm infantilizing her. She's an extremely intelligent woman, and she's learned survival skills; manipulation is a form of survival, if you're not stronger than somebody, you learn to do it in different ways. And I think yeah, that's poss- that's what she could have done. I don't want to admit it though, Autumn.

Do you like NB autistic authors and protagonists who explore the horrors of anti-black racism through sci-fi, horror, and fantasy? Well, Rivers Solomon is for you. I don't know if I've connected as much with a character as I do with Rivers Solomon characters. The subtle ways that they explore autism and being NB really hit me hard. I hadn't even given my gender much thought before reading their writing (mostly thought of myself as a brain in a jar).

They explore difficult themes but the writing isn't cynical. The characters are respected and even though there is great tragedy, there is still hope in the writing and for the protagonists. Rivers Solomon is also a great follow on Instagram. They are (obviously) progressive and constantly post about issues going on in the world and participate in local activism. Not that we need to put artists on pedestals but it's a nice change of pace from everything I see/learn about the S3 TVL writing team.

Model Home: What if the haunted house gothic horror took place in the suburbs? What if it explored the ways in which a black family has to assimilate to an all white wealthy Dallas neighborhood? The main character, a transmasc/NB/autistic parent returns to the home they fled from for their parents' funeral. Horrific memories resurface. There are discussions of CSA but no actual scenes. There are scenes of grooming. Discussions of racialized violence. The protagonist's struggle to know what horrors are real reminds me of what I like best about Shirley Jackson's Haunting of Hill House.

An Unkindness of Ghosts: Sci-fi/Dystopia/Horror. The story takes place on a space ship organized with class and slavery much like the Antebellum South. The main character Aster, is an enslaved person secretly training to be a doctor. Aster is hinted at being autistic and slowly discovers they are transmasc. This one is a brutal read. Very violent and triggering. I felt like it was worth it but definitely take care. There is a sweet T for T romance slow burn that helped me get through the horrors. Similar content warnings to the last. Discussions of SA without actual detailed scenes. The main character will just bluntly say that it happened (reminds me of how Octavia Butler describes SA and violence in the Parable of the Sower series). Lots of racialized violence (but with an actual point to it).

Haven't read these yet but they are on my list:

Sorrowland: A former religious cult member goes on the run with their twin children.

The Deep: Fantasy story about the mermaids descended from enslaved pregnant women thrown off slave ships. The audiobook is narrated by Daveed Diggs and others. Yeah the Hamilton guy.

They tried to kill us, but they did not succeed. And we owe so much thanks to the other oppressed peoples, in particular the Choctaw Nation and the Masai, who sent money and grain to us.

Let me repeat that. The Choctaw Nation who had just gone through the Trail of Tears sent us money to try save Irish lives. It’s led to an understanding between Irish people and Native American tribes, most recently when we donated to the Navajo and Hopi fundraisers for COVID-19 relief, because while it may be a different tribe, Irish people will never forget those who helped us and we’ll help back.

The entire population of the island is less than seven million people. We’re still a million less on this island than pre famine. And it’s not that long ago. My grandmother’s grandparents lived through it. We’ve told the stories, it literally changed the DNA of the country. We have a national fear of renting, because so many people were evicted. People joke about Irish people always offering loads of food, but it’s because there’s that cultural memory of not being able to.

The camera zooming into Rolin laughing at this part specifically during this part of the DM line read 👀 Which, apparently, is exactly Rolin's type of humor:

Throughout S1-3, to quote Snequanimity:

"Armand, we are constantly told, was a catamite. He's a twink bottom. He was a limp, passive ragdoll for sale. His daddy groomed him into a little bitch. He's emasculated, a beige pillow, his sexual performance is so-so, he's desperate and needy, he's a pussy and a betaboi. In short, he's too gay, not Lestat's ideal of a masculine bisexual man. like this is some kind of corruption of character, being the receptive partner in anal sex" 

Recently, ONE journalist has FINALLY commented on this

and that's because the journalist himself is a gay Indian:

They have a Global Device Identifier (GDID) Tracker that functions as a fingerprint for your PC that can surpass VPNs, proxy servers and countries. Although it can't survive a clean reinstall of Windows (it can survive updates), because Microsoft forces you to go to the internet and log in into a Microsoft account, they will be able to get to you.

Microsoft kept it secret and it was only found out when the FBI tracked a hacker thanks to the information Microsoft gave them.

You should be paying attention to this, and possibly consider moving away from Windows. If a government, especially the US government, doesn't like you for some reason, this could be seriously concerning.

This article specifically notes:

For journalism, activism, or domestic abuse situations, skip Windows and use Linux routed through Tor instead of a commercial VPN. A GDID doesn’t care which VPN you use, only that it’s still the same Windows installation.

Other important quotes:

What has researchers uneasy is everything else the case reveals. Costin Raiu, a well-known malware researcher, asked on the Three Buddy Problem podcast how much of this exists on other platforms, and whether it is linked more permanently to hardware. Matthew Hickey, another security researcher, called Windows “surveillance software”.

Two things back that up:

There’s no consent screen. A GDID gets assigned when you sign into a Microsoft Account. Apple’s advertising identifier needs an App Tracking Transparency prompt and a visible reset; Android’s works the same way. GDID has neither, and a Windows reinstall only gets you a new number Microsoft can still get back to the same account.