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i think everyone should program at least once just so you realise just how fucking stupid computers are. because theyre so fucking stupid. a computer wants to be told what to do and exactly that and if you make one typo or forget one detail it starts crying uncontrollably
@ameliapodcast theory (sort of): Kozlowkiās backstory prediction (or, at least, how much of what heās been saying about it is true?)
(To be clear, thereās not an actual answer to that in this post. More a bunch of āthis other episode said something that I think is going to be relevant laterā)
This post has a few spoilers for the latest episode (94 - Maine Moepirt Arthur), so you should listen to that before reading this. (Yeah, I know it just came out, but the episode Iām trying to predict drops for patreon very soon and I wanted to post this first!)
Note Iāll be calling him āKozlowskiā the whole time for simplicity, and that I am assuming that anything we are āshownā (not just told told) is true (all the phoenix stories so far have been told by Kozlowski as stories - and indeed they are explicitly not the entire truth).
Thoughts below the cut, itās a bit long:
The main three almost-backstories weāve gotten are: 46 - The Man With Many Faces, which mentions Kozlowskiās marriage to Behrem, and a lot of face-swapping; 61 - Martha, one of his phoenix stories, where he finds and frees a phoenix; and 80 - The Children of Hamelin, another phoenix story, with him finding and taking care of a hen that he knows is a phoenix.
In general, it has been very clear that these are all not that true - Kozlowski admits the first is bullshit, says the second is āemotionally [but not factually] trueā and the last he says might be a fairytale. It would seem most of them were near-entirely false - but small parts keep proving to be correct - for example, the healing tears mentioned in Martha seemed potentially false, but by 87 - King Arthur it was made very clear that it was not metaphorical. So I want to talk about which parts I think might be true.
46 - The Man With Many Faces:
Okay, most of this one is clearly false - the time period itās set in and the idea that this is how he joined TAP make it clear that this is not remotely true. However, a few things remain true: Behrem Behnam is mentioned as one of Kozlowskiās past names (62 - Dear Child Has Many Names) and he does use it in 80 - The Children of Hamelin. It seems to have been made clear that Behrem was his husband and then Kozlowski took his name at some point (why use it so long afterwards in ep 80, though? Did he use it multiple times? Was it not actually the current name, but he used it just because he was talking about a version of his past to Evi?).
As for the face-swapping, thatās a little less certain. We do know this is something he does, as it is mentioned in 77 - Rocco, but he also says that he has not done the face-changing stuff on anyone prior to Arthur (94 - Maine Moepirt Arthur)... so if he was swapping faces with Behrem, then either they were both operating on themselves (to be clear: we donāt even know if Behrem was a surgeon) or thereās a distinction being made creating a face and swapping a face.
Something else of note is he calls the marriage a ritual in this episode, and in 72 - The Man With Many Tattoos he says his phoenix tattoo was āpart of a ritualā.Ā
Not much else from this story is likely to be true. Iām not sure where the āAtil Aslanā identity comes in, as everything seems to suggest Itthobal was his original name.
Ā 61 - Martha and 80 - The Children of Hamelin
These two are both at least set in the right time period, but there is very little to verify here, so mostly Iām going to talk about things that are in both (and therefore more likely to be the truth).
Note that both are about Kozlowski, with one in first-person and the other about Baal (presumably short for Itthobal). In both, he, still quite young, living in Tyre, is tasked by his father to find a phoenix. He finds one, makes a sacrifice of some form (freeing it/losing his hands) and has to sacrifice some time as well (waiting with the feather/waiting for it to burn), and is rewarded by the phoenix with some power of healing (the tears/the hands). Now we know the tears thing was true (the hands thing seems less likely, but at this point who knows!). Not much more overlap.
Other things of note
Kozlowski saying he has a ārelationship with fireā in 79 - Joan, and we know he can survive burning (94 - Maine Moepirt Arthur)
He ends up being known as the phoenix. Is it because of the fire thing?
In 48 - Jackie Williams he says he believes ālove is stronger than deathā. Not sure if relevant but it feels related.
Tl;dr i dont know, at this point practically anything he says could have been secretly trueā¦
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phan is real, destiel is canon, johnlock are parents, the doctor is gay and mcr are back. you have reached the end point of tumblr thank you for participating and good night
The fact that GLaDOS drops Chell off in a post apocalyptic world but we never get to see canon rugged post apocalyptic survivor Chell has harrowed me for 7 years. That is like the one reason I wanted a Portal 3. I NEED to see her timeskipped with 20% more stress induced gray hairs, and a rifle, and tattered jacket, and bandaged hands, and chilling and cooking a rotisserie headcrab over a fire in her impromptu camp with like her long stretch of chain reaction physics based traps surrounding it, and she is using the companion cube as a bench. I know she has the will to carve it out, out there
and glados has to shuffle her sad gay ass over in the form of a tiny mobile messenger bot because she needs help because the combine or something are breaching aperture and surely even chell will see that it would be a disaster if they got their hands on aperture technology. but in trying to reach her she accidentally triggers a trap and gets bounced around wildly to each of the other traps in succession as is the design and chell just watches the whole thing without helping even though she knows who it is. This is the beginning of portal 3 btw so i hope you imagined that in first person POV
the first pitch for portal 3 that has me on boardĀ normally I'm like nah bruh the narrative arc has reached a satisfying conclusion we're done hereĀ but the idea of Glados building herself a skittery little mobile body and running after Chell to ask for help delights and intrigues meĀ 'there are rude violent disgusting humans destroying my test chambers'Ā 'so I immediately thought of you. the rudest most violent maniac I've ever known'Ā and technically this is all your faultĀ seeing as YOU disabled my deadly neurotoxin and left me alone and defenceless to the whims of a cruel uncaring worldĀ are you going to take responsibility for your actions or are you gping to let these ruffians escape with the power to detonate the planetĀ oh did I not mention the aperture science planetary detonation device?
the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice
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I'm kinda honestly impressed by the restraint on spoilers for Silksong because the game has been out for like four days now and I still haven't heard a PEEP about any big story events or even the final boss. Anything I've glimpsed at has only ever been early-game stuff. It's quite a feat to be sure that basically everyone agreed to keep their lips absolutely sealed for this one
It's still really funny to me how every Hollow Knight fan basically was exploding and jumping on the walls and screeching in the days leading up to Silksong, crashed Steam and other stores on the day of release because of how much traffic there was, and then retreated back to their caves to play Silksong for 10 hours a day. Not even so much as a whisper you'll hear from them for at least a week
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