tumblr is not social media. idk how to explain but its so calm here. like this is the field and the valleys. over there is the town and people. but here we are little sheep in our pastures eating our grass and laying in the sun <3
taylor price
we're not kids anymore.
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@teconpastas
tumblr is not social media. idk how to explain but its so calm here. like this is the field and the valleys. over there is the town and people. but here we are little sheep in our pastures eating our grass and laying in the sun <3

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I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know
I think...you might be right
what the fuck
Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper
And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK
And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”
So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for
And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah
Yeah, I think I kinda get it
Finished something new! Which of these do you recognise from your shelves?
Shop
No offense but I think some of you would be a lot happier writing a fictional atlas or encyclopedia instead of a narrative story
Concur! Go forth and write your Dragonology and your Guidebook to Fairyland! Write a traveler's diary of a setting! These are fun and legitimate things to do!
I love books that are literally just this!
Corollary: I think some people also just want to write RPG character sheets.
Oh my god, I feel like we've cracked a code here. A lot of you would be happier developing DND games than writing stories. "I have a world but no characters" and "I have characters but no plot" people, there are niches for you out there!

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My man was really gonna let a fucking BEAR into his house for the views and the BEAR had to be the sensible one here
The bear said “You live like this?”
This always takes me the fuck out because so far as I can tell that's LITERALLY what's happening. That bear is looking around pretty apprehensive, it looks like she's sizing up the likelihood of finding something good in there (food, shelter, whatever) vs the odds of getting hurt...and coming to the conclusion that it's not worth it. That human is just acting too weird.
The bear is, LITERALLY, exhibiting more common sense and wildlife encounter good practice than the cameraperson.
sometimes I think about how brussel sprouts, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, collard greens, savoy cabbage, kohlrabi, and gai lan are all the same species, and i understand why biologists are constantly furious about taxonomy
I’m sorry what
same species. same fucking species
Somebody please explain this because what the fuck
i can do that!
Introducing the Brassica oleracea, a plant species whose cultivars include…all of the above. They all originated from the same plant aka THIS FUCKER!
No, really. This thing has existed in Europe for thousands of years, during which time different societies had different culinary preferences, leading them to selectively breed for different traits. For example, a preference for the eating leaves led farmers to select seeds from the plants with the largest leaves, resulting gradually in the development of kale.
The real fun thing is, this happened on a vast timeline. Kale was developed over 4000 years ago, while Savoy cabbage was first documented just 5 centuries ago. And different cultivars developed in different regions across Europe and Asia, with their phenotypes and names changing wildly over time. (Fun fact, Brussels sprouts are indeed named for Brussels, the capital city of Belgium, where they were developed from a predecessor imported from Rome.)
The list above isn’t even exhaustive btw. There are plenty of other ridiculous cultivars (such as the Jersey cabbage, pictured below), and there’s no telling how many other forms existed throughout history, and which would have counted as distinct cultivars, and how many names and groups they were separated into, and, and, and—and imposing taxonomy on the real world is a mess, basically, because the real world does not give a shit about making itself comprehensible or categorizeable. But still we try. Planet Earth has Hot Mess Energy, and would you really have it any other way?
ko-fi
oh honey
yeah
people keep reposting my comics without credit or permission so heres a dump of my comics frome my twitter @/cuptoast
do not my reposts my art, if u see one of my comics uploaded to here, it was not with my permisiions!
Sometimes you read a bad fic and you’re like wow the author really needs to rewatch the source material :/ and then sometimes you read a fic so bad you’re like god jesus *I* need to rewatch then source material. Like a juice cleanse. Or an exorcism
Winners of the 2024 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for bad opening lines, including “She had a body that reached out and slapped my face like a five-pound ham-hock tossed from a speeding truck.”

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Hoy hace 13 años que llegué a Tumblr. 🥳
I got 1 task done today. I emptied the big trash can in my bedroom. That's one less fork to deal with.
I have severe executive dysfunction. I've been dealing with it by having myself do one small task a day. So far it's helped a lot. By doing it this way my brain doesn't freak out trying to tackle everything at once.
I got my inspiration for it from this Donald Duck comic:
Oh my God this is so fucking wholesome
“I saw the sunrise for the first time in years” moves me way more than it has any right to
I'm a sucker for any platonic/siblings bond and this scene was peak!
I think my hottest Legend of Vox Machina take is that I think the cartoon’s ability to split the party (which happens very rarely for obvious reasons in the game) is a strength and has led to some great character moments the campaign wasn’t able to get into.
Pullip

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Art G.Shvecova (Design graphics - Purple stars_1412)
social media has really warped our perception of creativity and hobbies. Stop doing things to post them. Just write. Just journal. Just sketch. Just read. Just annotate. Just sing. Just crochet. Just do the thing you’re going to do with the assumption no one will ever see or know you did it. Stop performing. Just enjoy it.