Tealshirt

what if she was called chappell bone and instead of a singer she was a necromancer who raised strong as fuck skeleton warriors

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

Lincoln Lincoln

I just saw an acquaintance use "👖🛝" in place of the word genocide and. like. at what point are we going to decide that this kind of self-censorship is too degrading to abide anymore.

"grape" "sewer-slide" "the panini" I feel like I'm surrounded by Rugrats who overheard the grown ups talking about the news.

I'm tired of seeing people excuse algospeak because "corporations are making us do it." Why are we all letting them do that. The Internet is real life. Get mad about it.

shout out to I will follow you into the dark for being the song of all time. death cab for cutie just nailed it. there's never been a song as much as I will follow you into the dark. it's so song. like?? hello?? if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs, if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, I will follow you into the dark. that's all there is to it.

no other social media platform has lore quite like tumblr’s

the gods that haunt this place are unlike any others

I just saw a tiktok comment saying that tumblr right now is like a place recovered from being irradiated

Sign outside Tumblr: “This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. …”

id: screenshot of tags reading “the wildlife carries on in the ruins like nothing ever happened”

I like your shoelaces

Thanks, I pulled them out of a stump filled with fae water and now it wards off the President

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

This is such an abstract type of comedy I don’t even know how to handle it

 soviet russian grandma cats complaining about their grandchildren and swapping recipes

#BABUSHKATS

it’s crazy how much you can read if you read

your horse not even high enough for you to be acting like that