Max

Two-Fer' Throbbing Boomsploder

comically dense design, looks like a cast iron nerf gun. painted magenta and gold

[meme reference that was dated before the games target demographic was even born]

first shot fires seven sticky bombs in an oscillating X pattern, each sticky bomb chains lightning to a nearby enemy before detonating,

completely useless because there's a rifle that shoots normal bullets that scale off of every stat simultaneously

AVERAGE DESTINY GUN:

Smelvin's Adjudication

abstract depiction of a bullpup rifle, magwell appears to be completely detached from the gun itself

"a single word is engraved on the inside of the receiver. "michael-2""

after several rapid headshot kills with another gun while suffering from a void or strand elemental debuff, you gain the ability to aim down sights 25% faster for 5 seconds

Balalala Prime

vaguely gun-shaped tumescent mass of rounded plastic and metallic scrollwork

"Decimate your foes with Sirius and Orion Prime's exquisitely-crafted signature rifle."

hitscan automatic rifle

0.2% use rate because you have to actually point it at things to kill them