We got the crunk, turn it sideways

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

Your average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces of pineapple chunks. Cans of pineapple come in a variety of sizes the most common being 20oz and 46oz. Meaning a single pineapple generally won’t fill up a single can perfectly, wich also means everytime u eat pineapple from a can somewhere someone else has the can that has the rest of that same pineapple. Meaning u can share a single fruit with a stranger from hundreds of miles away and I think that’s beutiful

How much sleep are you getting?

Not enough my guy

My favorite internet phenomenon is when someone comments on a YouTube video with a really benign comment like “I love this song!” and then there are a bunch of hidden responses to that comment and then the last one isn’t hidden and it’s something like “you ignorant tool, I can’t believe anyone would even defend Eisenhower’s foreign policies, let alone compare them to political strategies of Napoleon. Take your asinine opinions elsewhere (and FYI, the Chinese DID invent noodles. idiot.)”

I clicked sound expecting some tumblr shit where there’s some heavy metal playing or something, but instead it was the sounds of its little hooves clapping against the wet sand as a bird gently cried in the distance and that’s so great.

“Fuck is you lookin at”

That’s what they get lmfao.

LMAO

That lion is LITERALLY minding its business… And there you go

That noise he made when the window was rolled up at the end. Lmaooooo

I’m both

why did they have their windows rolled down in the first place though like what the fuck

When will my reflection show Who I am Inside

How can I say no to such a great photo and such a polite request?

i will always support this post

@mooserattler back on my dash!

Why isn’t this at a million notes, yet, Dante???

I’m not sure. Hey lovely people who have taken me over half way to a cool million! If you’d like to reblog again, I’d love that, if not, I still love you, and hope you’re having a great day. I’m gonna go do some stand up tonight.

he is more powerful than god

The sneaky fart at the end always gets me 😂

I CAN’T. THE FART. I’M DYING