Tongues and Teeth

can we kill Charlie kirk again that would just really cheer me up

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

i can be trusted around the box of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer

primadonna girl……………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yeah

bitch ex wife took the genie lamp

for april fools i will turn into a beast and attack the town at nightfall

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

That and the monkey barrrsssss

when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think

just overheard somwone say "hey dude i dont see the future I've got two balls and neither is made of crystal" and im absolutely losing it

having 40 minutes to leave the house is terrible because 40 minutes is basically 30 minutes and 30 minutes is basically 20 minutes and 20 minutes is basically fifteen seconds. but 50 minutes? 50 minutes is an hour, and an hour? ooobh thats plany off time

this may be my age showing but I am a passionate supporter of wires. earbuds? put a leash on those things. wireless keyboard? no, it needs to hold hands with the computer. the ps5 controller I forgot to charge has the staying power of a wealthy nonagenarian with a much younger wife and 14 life insurance policies, but the controller plugged into my pc? that baby will outlive my bloodline. my ethernet cable is like a son to me.

when people are named baker or fuller or tanner or something its like HA 🫵 I KNOW WHAT YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPA DID 🫵🫵

100% accurate