caper

water and art are similar in that i need both of them to live but 99% of the time i forget and then wonder why i feel vaguely awful

YES OMG BRÜNNHILDE

And they sat the Government doesn’t do anything important.

where's that picture that ruined my life

girl dad not as in a dad with daughters but as in a girl who shares the tastes habits and personality traits of a middle aged father

every day should be like i wake up & my first thought is a beautiful idea of a fun & new activity & i spend my day accomplishing it

i am extremely well-adjusted and mentally healthy as long as nothing goes wrong ever at all even a little bit

hey i know i asked for constructive criticism but what i actually wanted was for you to tell me i'm extremely talented. and also pretty. sorry if that was unclear

one of the worst irl debuffs is "something in the kitchen smells weird but you cant find it". you have to just do the rituals and hope for the best (taking out the trash, boiling water down the sink, look for lost potatoes etc)

an acquaintance told me i had the subtle guardedness of someone who “learned social skills the hard way” and i’d honestly have much preferred they took out a gun and shot me

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

sorry i said something dickish. a few mildly frustrating things happened to me in succession and it turned me evil

*booking an mri* what if I accidentally have a pacemaker. what if I got secret bone surgery and forgot about the pins

I love seeing dogs and wolves in movies because they’re acting so vicious but also their tails are wagging so hard unless the post-processing guys specifically edited out the tails (which is slightly less obvious but also hilarious in a different way once you spot it).

That dog knows his job, and knows he’s damn good at it, and knows he’s probably better at his job than his coworkers.