Big Gay Nap Time™

time smells bad.

what Synesthetic bullcrap is this now

Just realised this implies that a fridge cancels or slows time down

As a simple experiment I will put some plutonium in my refrigerator and see if it decays slower, brb

this time it’s the opposite of Greek philosophy because you used the scientific method

Conclusion: the scientific method gives people radiation poisoning

...do my Minecraft villagers think I can't talk? The player never makes any noise close to language in-game...do they know that my little crouch dance means hi? Are they learning that when the strange flying one who doesn't speak holds out armfulls of wheat to them that means they want to trade? Are they just used to being silently shuffled away from ledges by this cryptic protector who eats golden food and doesn't seem to need sleep?? Why have I never thought of this before, the villagers must be so confused by dealing with me...

#Minecraft #just #imagine #there's this local sort-of-person: you'd call them a person but they don't look like anyone you know and they fly and kill monsters #and raise houses in a day with materials they pull from thin air #they forge tools the likes of which your most skilled smiths could never dream of #so there's this local sort-of-god: you'd call them a god for all the reasons above #but you've also seen them die in two hits from clumsily bumping into your iron protectors the wrong way #and they come back with nothing and scramble for their belongings only to lose them again by falling from one of their own towers #which they seemed to have been just kind of. looking around from the top of? as though they'd lost something? #you're not sure they know how to get home?? #and also they did just die a couple times?? you ask them if they're okay but they don't seem to understand you #they just give you pumpkins #you take them mostly out of pity #maybe you can help them find their village...? but no the outside is scary actually and honestly you'd rather have them here #stupid as they can be #they build new things and they keep on trading and they never say a word #but they give you bread for free sometimes #and what more do you need from your local sort-of-deity-sort-of-dumbass? #maybe the villagers just think of me like obsessed cat owners think about their critter #beautiful and powerful and please stop eating plastic oh god why are you like this #... ironically villagers are often the exact same way but opposite lol #hey guess what #i LOVE these dudes #in case you couldn't tell (via @shadeswift99)

we're out of salt and vinegar chips *angrily punches a wall masculinely*

I’d like to personally thank Dodie Clark for the line “there’ll come a day when you say you’re okay and mean it” because oh god oh fuck

when people make “dark humor jokes” that are just thinly veiled bigotry you should make a complaint and then when they get angry you can be like “bruh it was just a joke, reporting you to HR was just dark humor, jeez you’re such a sensitive snowflake 🙄”

"It's just a prank bro"

losing your job is the punchline bro

Update they literally silenced the sound on this video but that's not MY video's fault lmao

Kanaya.

are you uninformed loons really unaware that bananas aren’t SUPPOSED to cause tingling & swelling sensations?

also potatoes are not supposed to give you potato sweats. pineapples aren’t supposed to be spicy

YES pineapples contain an enzyme that literally dissolves the top layer of the inside of your mouth. NO, most people aren’t able to actually taste that happening

kiwis aren’t supposed to make your mouth itch

much respect to the people in the notes going “i have learned something new about myself today, but i am going to continuing eating and enjoying my itchy spicy danger food”

Important question: are grapes supposed to make your throat pruny like fingers in bathwater?

honey, no.

Hey uh is mint scented stuff meant to make your lungs burn also unrelated but is mint toothpaste meant to sting

please babe i’m so tired

y'all the ONLY foods that actually are spicy and are supposed to be spicy is pepper-the-spice and chili peppers. ginger, horseradish, galangal, wasabi, mustard, raw onions and raw garlic are also distinctly pungent in a way that can feel spicy. NO foods are supposed to give you hives/swelling/itching, gas, acid reflux, diarrhea, constipation, stomach cramps, or otherwise make you feel bad after you eat them. if you do have adverse effects from eating a thing, don’t eat that thing! you are likely either allergic to it or intolerant of it in some way (e.g. I can’t eat beans because they mess up my digestion, not because I’m allergic but because I have IBS).

That time I realised I'm probably allergic to chives because I had covid and could not taste anything, just felt the tingy and was like 👀👀👀 kinda sus

what a good day to remember that butch lesbians (ESPECIALLY trans, poc, and/or fat butch lesbians) aren’t fucking predatory 

“trans butch lesbian”? More like heterosexual man.

Reblog the Fred of TERF banishment to keep your blog TERF free for a year.