the one with the ominous regional lore

The absolutely pervasive mentality that unwanted criticism or critique shouldn't be given and should be ignored is why fans of color don't stay in fan spaces.

And I am not going to mince words here:

A lot of you are racist. A lot of your fan works are racist.

That might have been difficult to hear. And if it was, you should probably reflect on why that was.

"Fandom etiquette" has created a space where fans of color either bite our tongues and eventually leave or say something, get dogged on, and then eventually leave.

If I say "I am uncomfortable with fandom's tendency to write trans men as feminine and submissive" I do not mean "I think every person who writes feminine submissive trans men should be chased with pitchforks". I don't even mean "any cis-person who writes feminine or submissive trans men should be chased with pitchforks". I mean "I would like writers to seriously think about why this is so common, why they write that, and if it fairly and genuinely engages with what it means to be a trans man, or if they just think it's hot when submissive people have vaginas and didn't want to write omegaverse of m/f".

Similarly, when people say "fandom is systemically less interested in black characters, less willing to give flat black characters rich fanon than flat white characters, and less interested in black characters in ships", the response is not to explain why you, personally, just happen to like popular white guy in that fanon. Your job is to look at yourself and ask if you tend to "just happen to be more interested" in the popular white guy across fandoms, be honest, and start unpacking that. Sometimes it's easier to love the flat character who's already getting 10,000 fics with headcanons and art and meta.

If somebody says "I wish there were more gluten free options at the potluck. I hate always showing up and not finding anything I can eat*", they are not asking you to throw your cake in the trash and weep. They do not want to hear your long speech about how actually this is your grandmother's recipe, and you've tried it with rice flour actually, but it just didn't work. You think about what you can do, and you listen to how they feel.

I never wanted to be you.

on the color green

Now the concept of "community" is nebulous, which is a double-edged blade; even if your initial online community is relatively small, the potential audience for anything you say or do that makes it to the internet is anyone who has even tangential access to the internet.

We could go around in circles debating how much widespread reach translates to actual privilege or influence, and the level to which personal accountability scales with follower count or by publishing an indie novel or running a successful YouTube channel or (fill in the blank)... But it bears considering that there is a magnitude of difference between "guy says or does something shitty and offensive/ignorant and the people in his direct social circle hold him accountable and tell him he's being a shithead" and "guy says or does something shitty and offensive/ignorant and hundreds of complete strangers start demanding accountability, many of whom didn't even know who he was until they heard about what he said or did second-hand".

This is something I have to challenge myself to consider and admit -- what is my actual purpose in joining in with mass criticism? Do I actually believe that 500 people demanding accountability is an appropriate and necessary amount of social pressure being utilized to reduce harm, or am I angry and wanting to see someone punished via social consequences?

Even if my anger is completely justified -- even if the person "deserves" social consequences -- does the increased visibility of the offense actually correlate to the scale of the appropriate response?

If a thousand people are angry at you, then you won't know each person. Their judgement doesn't come with years of goodwill, and some of them may even be hearing of you for the first time. For those people, you aren't the generally nice person who was uncharacteristically mean. You're the stranger who did something bad, and with no other knowledge of you, they'll extrapolate your entire personality off of one offensive comment.

Each one will ask for accountability. Some of them will be nice about it. Some of them will be harsh with you. Some will even insult you. You will hear all of them simultaneously, but you will not be able to talk to all of them. You cant have a reasonable back and forth conversation with a thousand people. Even if you convince one person that this is a big misunderstanding, theres hundreds behind them. You won't be able to personally apologize to everyone either. You can release a public apology, but each person will have different standards.

Even if some people understand that you're sorry and want to do better, others won't. Some may be looking for you to be more emotionally repentant on camera, and you'll be asking yourself if you should have cried in your apology video. Some people will think you're being disingenuous, and fake crying will just make it worse. Some people will want there to be a punishment, and you won't be able to satisfy them at all. Some people won't even be aware you apologized because they aren't closely following everything a stranger says. Some people will just want to hate you.

There might even be people who hear about it years after it happened and get angry at you all over again, even if you already apologized and promised to do better. You could be subject to hurtful comments and accusations of wrongdoing for years and years off of one mistake. That's why people spreading around "receipts" has always carried an insidious undertone with me.

You physically cannot have a conversation with everyone who is angry with you, and no public statement will satisfy everyone. Even if the angry people are mostly made up of reasonable individuals, there will still be enough unreasonable people to continue stirring the pot despite your attempts to make amends.

what if they were FRIENDS. AND WHAT IF THEY WERE ALL FRIENDS.

This is so charming omg LOVE the style in that first one.. and the second one makes me think of a paper people chain cutout awww.... what if they were all friends.....

If you prioritize your own comfort and "rights as a person" (read: repeatedly demean/mock fanwork and endorse the harassment of other real human beings for things you personally dislike, including while actively seeking out things that distress you) over the wellbeing of others, you are being an asshole. If you are willing to flirt with other people as a joke but balk at people taking that (frankly tired and at times downright homophobic) joke seriously, you are being an asshole. If you are willing to take inspiration from fanwork that you enjoy, with or without crediting it, and still insist on being able to dictate what people can and cannot make based on your own moral standards, you are being an asshole.

Distress and disgust at fanwork you do not enjoy is completely valid. Requesting that it not be taken into spaces you manage or otherwise shown directly to you is totally fine, and if people insist on breaking the rules of your community space then that is absolutely a bannable offense. We would even personally go so far as to say that, should you be the type to "lurk" in your AO3 or Tumblr tags and happen to by sheer bad luck stumble on something that you dislike to an immense degree, quietly and without fanfare blocking/banning someone that you are personally uncomfortable with being in your community spaces is, in the grand scheme of things, relatively inoffensive. If you are actively seeking out things that distress you for the purpose of crossbanning those who create it, however, you are -- once again -- being an asshole.

We do not say this oft-tread punchline lightly: you are going to lose subscribers. You are going to lose the core backbone that makes up fandom, you are going to lose any respect your audience has for you, and the spaces you frequent and manage will begin to be considered unsafe by others. There are plenty of people who are the most polite, respectful, well-meaning, and boundaries-following individuals you could possibly want in a fandom*, and many of them will be driven away by this sort of behavior. You will instead be curating a fanbase full of those who can tolerate and potentially even engage with stalking, harassment, threats, and outright harm to others that you personally deem unacceptable.

*(We're talking model citizen by even the strictest standards. People with next to no interest in shipping (or smut, or RPF), who are actively engaging with community and seeking to bring in new fans, whose fanwork all falls fully within the bounds of the "acceptable" even when posted in private spaces, who are loudly and proudly allies for marginalized folks and are invested in deterring bigotry whenever possible.)

We are already seeing people actively distressed by the actions and behaviors of people they assumed they could trust (as role models or otherwise) -- and while the refrain no one you look up to is better than you are still applies here and may be cold comfort for us, that does little to alleviate the very real and material impact of people being soured on your work for good.*

*(And also, people will get hurt. Doxxing, persistent harassment, stalking, death/assault threats, falsified accusations, bigoted comments, the whole works. But even if that's less important than your own comfort so long as that stuff never touches you directly, it still hurts your bottom line and broader reputation to be associated with this sort of thing.)

We do not think having engaged in this behavior makes someone a bad person. We do not think having outdated, iffy, or misinformed beliefs makes someone a bad person. We do not consider speaking overly harshly at times or having an unawareness of one's impact on others to be a cardinal sin. It is, however, room for improvement and growth.

Attacking people and taking their misinformed or questionable commentary out of context/in the worst light possible as an attempt to shame them into "better" behavior is something we consider unacceptable. If you are intentionally being incendiary about people wording things somewhat thoughtlessly and using that as grounds to look down on or belittle them, you are also being an asshole.

-> Phonics For Adults <-

the way a content creator reacts to boundary discourse says a lot about whether or not you should be supporting them. there is no reality where allowing a child to get hurt by your entire fandom is warranted.