that's rough, buddy.

oh my god it hurts

and it's going to hurt forever

@dualclock joypost for you

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

either the activity should be called brooming or the object should be called a sweep. you can't have a unique word for each. utterly reckless waste in a language with limited phonemes

Everyone keep sending your attacks. She can't protect him forever

Or you use a plastic/silicon spatula?? Or a silicon whisk?? go to literally any dollar store they have shitty plastic/silicon kitchen utensils you can scramble eggs with without scratching up your pans

I hate this site so much.

GMORNING GIRLIES IT'S YURI DAY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i fucking hate the “this is the good luck post.” Girl stop contributing to a superstitious environment with ur anecdotes there’s a million goddamn notes on it it’s statistically reasonable that a bunch of people remember the good things that happen after they reblog it

this is the statistically reasonable post, reblogging it will have no effect except for putting this post on your blog

guys this post really works! I reblogged it and it really did put the post on my blog! you need to try it!

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself