I can’t stop watching this I feel like I’m tripping
Mike Driver

shark vs the universe
will byers stan first human second

oozey mess
Jules of Nature

pixel skylines
todays bird

gracie abrams

★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Love Begins
taylor price
YOU ARE THE REASON
noise dept.

Kiana Khansmith

JVL
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

𓃗

seen from Singapore

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@takenoshit
I can’t stop watching this I feel like I’m tripping

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THIS
usa gets silver:
russia gets silver:
chinese get silver:
british get bronze:
actually, it’s been psychologically proven that bronze winners are happier than silver winners! silver winners see themselves as being “so close” to gold, while bronze winners are just happy they won a medal. so any silver medalist isn’t as happy as a bronze medalist!
Canada gets silver:
ok but it’s canada
Songs that never fail to make white people beyond turnt
Don’t Stop Believing
Bohemian Rhapsody
Living On A Prayer
Come On Eileen
Sweet Caroline
Shot Through the Heart
Pour Some Sugar on Me
Sweet Home Alabama
Under Pressure
Shook Me All Night Long
Ice Ice Baby
Cotton Eyed Joe
500 Miles
Wonderwall
Buddy Holly
A Thousand Miles
Teenage Dirtbag
Red Solo Cup
Mr Brightside
Never Gonna Give You Up
Eye of the Tiger
Chicken Fried
American Pie
I Love Rock and Roll
Dancing Queen
Don’t You Want Me
We Will Rock You
The Time Warp
Hey Jude
Piano Man
This Is How We Do It
Drops of Jupiter
Hey Soul Sister
In The End
All The Small Things
Stacy’s Mom
Kryptonite
All Star
You Found Me
Bad Day
Bring Me To Life
Dance, Dance
Sugar We’re Going Down
I Write Sins Not Tragedies
All The Small Things
Ocean Avenue
Dirty Little Secret
Margaritaville
Sk8er Boi
Brown Eyed Girl
Life Is A Highway
Some Nights
Little Lion Man
Breakeven
Hey There Delilah
Viva La Vida
Use Somebody
Carry On My Wayward Son
Take On Me
1985
Iris
I’m Awesome
Seven Nation Army
September
Since U Been Gone
Skinny Love
Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)
Bye Bye Bye
Say It Ain’t So
Somewhere Only We Know
I’m Yours
Last Resort
My Girl
Tiny Dancer
Roxanne
Shout
I’m a Believer
Soul Man
Feel Good Inc
Check Yes Juliet
Walking On Sunshine
MMM Bop
Pumped up Kicks
Hooked On A Feeling
It’s A Beautiful Day
Summer Girls
Before He Cheats
Happy Together
You Make My Dreams Come True
Build Me Up Buttercup
Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
DONTTRUSTME
Shake It (Metro Station)
Juke Box Hero
Girls Just Want To Have Fun
so i made the playlist https://open.spotify.com/user/haey1/playlist/15HiKjAnUuAymWdqejOTcP
Rebloging with the playlist.
as a white I can confirm the accuracy of this playlist
If you don’t lose your titties with excitement over this playlist you don’t have a soul!
homeskillet, i’m mexican american and i can confirm that this gets the white in me turnt af
hey why does Dwayne the Rock Johnson keep asking his daughter what kind of pancakes she wants over instagram??
Like ???
Dude just loves his daughter and pancakes

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Tonight I may have had an encounter with the smoothest human being on earth.
As many of you know I work as an actor in a haunted house. This is a fun job for many reasons, but witnessing people’s reactions to being scared is by far the best. I’m a scare window actor, which means I hide behind a section of the wall that is held up by a latch that I can lift and drop away suddenly, scaring people with both my scream, and the loud sound my window makes upon being dropped. I have a small hole drilled in the wall to look through to see people passing.
The smoothest human being on the planet wore a white hoodie. He came in a group with three other friends. I did not expect to scare him much. After a while you can kind of gauge just by what you can glimpse from your peephole whether someone will be a good scare or not. Men in their 20’s in a mixed group of friends typically do not get scared easily. But this guy was wearing white in my blacklight-equipped hallway, so he had made himself an easy target and I had to take advantage.
I dropped my window precisely when he was in front of it.
He leapt back toward the wall on the other side of my narrow hallway and his drew back his arm like he meant to punch me.
“This is it.” I thought. “I’m finally going to be socked in the face for scaring someone.”
But I was wrong.
His arm kept curling back behind his head. Smoothly, flawlessly, effortlessly he tucked his hand behind his head, leaned back on the wall opposite me, and propped a foot up on the plywood frame of my open window, reclining with ease.
“So, come here often?” He asked.
All of this occurred within the span of a second. Maybe two.
I was shook. I was stunned. I almost broke character.
I shrugged. “Only on the weekends.” I replied with my character voice. His group laughed. He double finger gunned me and walked on.
I will never forget him.
I cannot stress enough how perfect his transition from his fear reaction to his playboy act was. It flowed so naturally.
He is already a legend in my haunt.
:o :0 and :O all have very different meanings in my head but i cant articulate them
Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson has a tiny puppy named Asterix and it’s amazing.
whoever did this, thank you.
I am all about this…
What makes this even better is the photo of him with his brothers:
HOW THE FUCK IS HE THE SMALL ONE?!?!
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.
“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.
For real.
“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”
So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source: http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
Reblogging for the detailed description of the NORAD Santa Tracker origin story, because I knew the basic story but had never seen those quotes.
Do NOT bother my boy.
DO. FUCKING. NOT.
What a wonderful way to wake up! Every little boy deserves a dog, and every dog deserves a little boy.
WHEN HE PULLS THE BLANKET BACK OVER HIM AND GIVES HIM A KISS ON THE NOSE REBLOG IF YOU AGREE

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(via Mr_Mike_Clarke)
hope your pets stay healthy in 2017
I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty
Not risking it

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reblog if you’d end a date if they said they voted for trump
Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.
I love my mom.
I am risking nothing
I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY
Will not risk.
sorry followers :(
omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy
Why’re you being mean to my mum?
goddamn it
Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances
This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it
1.4 almost ps not risking it
Fuck this post
I am sorry…
I fucks with my moms too heavy to be playing games. REBLOG
Hell no.
Sorry
Y'all really got a porn blog out here doin it.
I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to my Mom lol
I second my husband’s emotion! Lol
This is supposed to be a porn blog but NO
Scrolled past but got paranoid
EU TE AMO MÃE
WHY IS THIS POST BACK?
Omg this my second time seeing this shit I hate these