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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@thirstywhitedad

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Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.
“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh
“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter
No cause the phrase ‘I need to check the perimeter’ made me lock in so fast. Yes, I need to check the edge of the territory. Come on, Silverpaw, we need to check sunning rocks. Riverclan may be hunting on our territory again
I desperately need y'all to see this scam bot I just got:
The deepest down of the ocean…….

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the quick brown fox lowkey mogs the lazy dog
The quick brown fox just low-key vibe mogged the lazy chopped dog
The quickpilled brown fox vibemogs lazy chud dogcel by jumpmaxxing
“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh
“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter
me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?
Hang on let me translate something real quick
Yeah this is funny
nimble, a border collie-papillon mix, wins the 12” class in the 2024 masters agility championship. the first time a mixed breed has won at westminster ever.
context explaining why the announcer is screaming, this is supposed to take a high level competitive agility dog 40 seconds
This video makes me cry every time it’s on my dash and I can’t even iterate why.
Like the dog doesn’t even know it’s a competition and she’s made history. She(?) just is happy and knows she made her owner happy too.
The face of a being with only a wind storm between their ears, moments before unleashing it unto the world
always a pleasure to see this girl on my dashboard
hello

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THE GRIND NEVER STARTS ‼️🔥💯💯
james and the giant pronoun
i saw walder of house white making milk of the poppy with that urchin jessaerys
oh ok word

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this was written 100 years ago but it reads like a post i would make on my tumblr blog in 2026