When I was a teenager I really hated and gamified smalltalk, but... Then I got cockatiels. And cockatiels have a thing called "contact calls". Basically, it's a particular set of noises they make to know where each other are without looking at them directly. There's variations, when the flock member is close it's a very sweet little sound, when they don't know where you are this can progress to a panicked shriek.
I kind of loved mimicking it. It let me interact with my birds in a whole new way that meant a lot to them, and it turned out to be incredibly helpful when my (completely unrecall trained, fully flighted bird) got startled in a bad gust of wind on the way between aviary and house and ended up circling in the bad weather, totally disoriented... And calling for us. It let her figure out how to get back down to come home.
Gradually I realised that lots of animals do this, actually. Cat activation noise is a contact call. Dogs do it in some kinds of whines. Social birds have big repertoires of them. It's just a ritual to keep in contact.
Then... I realised that's what a lot of those small rituals of smalltalk actually are. They are the act of petting an anxious or excited dog to soothe it, or letting each other know you're still in the room together. Humans have a huge variety in the way they use these, but I stopped finding a lot of them so annoying when I realised what the rituals were actually for.
I mean, I still prefer to use the non-word versions among friends and other people amenable to it, but. I find it, given in good faith, kind of endearing now.
gummygunk
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
