#xplodingunicorn

[Source: XplodingUnicorn]

Klaus: Can we ride bikes today?  Allison: If you're good.  Klaus: So that's a "no."  --- Five: Can I go to my friend's house? Pogo: Just play with your siblings. They're right here.  Five: That's the problem.  --- Klaus: What are we doing today? Ben: Things. Klaus: *loud groan* Those are the worst. --- Grace: What do you want for dinner? Klaus: Ice cream. Grace: Try again. Klaus: Lots of ice cream. --- Five: I told the dog to fetch, but he didn't. The handler: You don't do the things I tell you to do. Five: I'm not a dog. --- Diego: I won breakfast! Luther: You can't win breakfast. You just eat it. Diego: Said the loser. --- Diego: *falls off his bike* Patch: Are you okay? Diego: Yeah. My bike likes stunts. --- Pogo: Stop arguing with your sisters. Five: I'm not arguing. Pogo: Then what are you doing? Five: Being right. --- Grace: Make your bed. Klaus: I'm on vacation. Grace: You're off school, not chores. Klaus: I thought summer was safe. --- Klaus: I'm trying so hard. Ben: At what? Klaus: I don't know. --- Klaus: *eats candy upside down on the couch while watching TV* Allison: What are you doing? Klaus: My best. --- Five: *comes in from a bike ride scratched up* Luther: What happened? Five: I ran into something. Luther: What? Five: The ground. --- Allison: Do you hear that? Diego: Hear what? Allison: Ice cream. --- Klaus: Can we go to the park? Ben: We just went to the park. Klaus: It misses me. --- [watching a TV singing competition] Five: I could do that. Diego: Sing? Five: Judge people.   --- Klaus: Is eating candy a talent? Ben: No. Klaus: You didn't see how much I practised. --- Diego: *jumps on Luther’s back* Luther: Piggyback ride? Diego: I'm taking you down. --- Luther and Diego: *fight* Allison: Both of you, go to opposite sides of the room. Luther and Diego: *fight from a distance* --- Klaus: What if I'm a spider? Ben: You only have two arms and two legs. Klaus: What if I'm half of a spider? --- Five: Who made this mess? Luther: Not me. Diego: Not me. Allison: Not me. Klaus: A horse. I saw it. --- Klaus: When are we having ice cream? Allison: We're not. Klaus: One of us is wrong. --- Klaus: How fast are dinosaurs? Ben: Very fast. Klaus: Faster than an ice cream truck? --- Klaus: I can't find my shoes. Ben: Where did you last see them? Klaus: On my feet. --- Klaus: I've been good all day. Luther: It's still morning. Klaus: Close enough.    

Alfred: You're scarier when you're quiet.

dadsona: where the fuck did she learn that?

I swear this child is Rex Raptor.