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"So, funny thing, Lucifer. I was going through the putrid bog of rancid vermin shit that is the celestial bureaucracy-- let that teach me to trust anybody else with paperwork for more than a century-- and I found a very fucking strange notation on a specific mortal's file. Apparently if one... Erling Haaland fails to avenge Mexico in the World Cup, in terms of sin it is roughly equivalent to... let's see... nuking Florida. Which is still a damning offense, apparently. Meaning if at any point he died, he would not just go to Hell, he would be delivered, bodily, unto your personal court for judgement. There's another notation here suggesting 'punishments' that, while graphic, do not seem to me to be in the proper fucking spirit of eternal torment."
"Anyway, kid, dunno who it is, but someone is trying to do you a big favor. Might want to extend them extra protection when you figure out because if we learn it Up Here we gotta try to ice 'em."
It was yet another moment of silence. The warm air was thick with an awkward aftertaste. In it lies a particularly edged man in his flowing red cape, Varzo. He stood firmly as he faced the glimmering velvet lighting of the Netherworld. He seemed rather stuck in his process of thinking.
In the distance, not far from him, is a familiar robotic servant. He is kneeling in the distance. Awaiting at the slightest chance of his master beck and call. His thoughts are silent until he hears his name being called upon. With a quick " Servant! ", he's up and on his feet to approach his master.
" Of course a peasant like you wouldn't give me much back talk. Unlike those pathetic excuses of humanity I give the grace of calling my ' minions ' " Varzo scoffs. " But then again, all you do is just kneel over on the ground like an idiotic puppy thinking that servitude will suffice enough for a treat. Disgusting. "
Varzo turns around and takes his sweet time stepping down from his pedestal to meet this servant face to face. " Well, aren't you going to say anything? Retaliate, pathetic dog. " He leans in closely to the side of the servants face.
As if to reinforce the idea that he's untouchable, he whispers. His voice deep and firm. " I know you have a name as well so you might as well should spout that while you're at it. It's the best you can do other than just standing like some buffoon. " He backs away, awaiting a response.
The servant lets out a frigid tone of voice over its technical distortion within his mask. " Bolts. It is bolts, Master Varzo. " Bolt's iconic eyes meet Varzo's. For a moment, this amuses Varzo. It even intrigues the man.
" So, You do have a voice. For a moment I thought you would clam up like a pathetic wittle baby.. awe.. " He mocks. Then, he laughs uproariously. " And this scarf?.. Come on. I know you can do better than look like an unkept sheep. Take that wool off of your shoulders. "
Bolts does as follows. " Good enough. Hand it over. "Varzo demands. Bolts does exactly what is asked and without a second moment, Varzo throws the scarf into the wind. This blows it away in an instant. He laughs again in being so amused by toying with his servant.
" Dare I say, Master Varzo.. Your laughter suits you. " Bolts says before Varzo snaps out of his laughter, immediately cursing him. " Shut up! You have no say in the quality of my expressions. " He scoffs. Bolts bows. " My apologies, Master Varzo. "
" That's more like it. " Varzo smirks. " Any more of your nonsense and I would have had to banish you permanently myself. " Bolts stays put while awaiting Varzo again. A moment of silence passes before Varzo becomes bored yet again. Torment it is!
" Peasant, Come here. " Varzo demands yet again and this time, it's less harsh and more direct. Wasting no time, Bolts arises to the occasion and goes over to Varzo once more. Meeting him face to face again.
" Master Varzo, how can I be of service to you? " He asks. " What did you mean by my laughter suiting me? Quickly. " Bolts immediately responds, " Your joy in the mannerisms you do suit you and your display towards everyone. Master Varzo, with all due respect, seeing your laughter inspires me to look within my own display and explore the mannerisms of expression as w- " a finger is placed onto his mouth to silence him.
He shushes him, " Hush, My peasant. Save your pleasantries for when it will actually matter. " Varzo chuckles. Before he could continue, the sounds of warping can be heard. A displeased look is upon his face once more. With a heavy sigh, he tosses Bolts over to the side before returning to his standing post.
Bolts immediately gets back into position as the others' forms start to take shape with a subtle sigh of longing. What did he mean by " when it would really matter? " He didn't know but something in the back of his head had hoped that one day he would.
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My roommate that knows nothing about MCR except what I've told him asked me today why Frank is always bleeding, spitting or talking about his balls when I mention him.