asked my bestie to let his dog know we’re going to be roomies soon and he sent me this pic as evidence of integration

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asked my bestie to let his dog know we’re going to be roomies soon and he sent me this pic as evidence of integration

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dee and haley heard dee's name in the bathroom and are now on the floor of the hot tub room trying to eavesdrop
and then haley storms in to say yash needs to speak the truth and not talk behind her back
the funniest conversation with our oldest sister:
we were talking about asexuality and stuff
us: but yeah i don't want to have sex with anyone
sis: yeah but like if alastor was real you'd have sex with him
us: alastor is also asexual so we wouldn't really be
sis: OH lmao
us: i mean some asexual have sex but idk if that's me tbh lmao
and we talked about more about gender roles and gender and sexuality stuff cause she's open but doesn't really know much
i’m having mel withdrawals oughghuohhhg
i will never leave u ever again alba do not fear

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"So, funny thing, Lucifer. I was going through the putrid bog of rancid vermin shit that is the celestial bureaucracy-- let that teach me to trust anybody else with paperwork for more than a century-- and I found a very fucking strange notation on a specific mortal's file. Apparently if one... Erling Haaland fails to avenge Mexico in the World Cup, in terms of sin it is roughly equivalent to... let's see... nuking Florida. Which is still a damning offense, apparently. Meaning if at any point he died, he would not just go to Hell, he would be delivered, bodily, unto your personal court for judgement. There's another notation here suggesting 'punishments' that, while graphic, do not seem to me to be in the proper fucking spirit of eternal torment." "Anyway, kid, dunno who it is, but someone is trying to do you a big favor. Might want to extend them extra protection when you figure out because if we learn it Up Here we gotta try to ice 'em."
{{ YOU LITTLE SHIT HAHAHAHAHAA}}
“Shut the fuck up I get Haaland?! “
HOLY FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAH😭😭😭😭😭😭
Just a whole buncha bullshit bro yo 😭