#xeninity

why are they non-xenic?

some disclaimers:

i know this was a big thing when kenochoric was coined, many people didnt understand how it wasnt a xenogender

personal comfort with a label is *always* worth more than fitting within strict definitions

the word "xenogender" (and xenic by extension) has multiple definitions and we likely arent all operating on the same one

i see this most often with neoumbrellas but its kind of underlying everywhere. why do we seem to be moving away from calling things xenogenders/xenic? is the definition too broad? too narrow? too known outside of mogai spaces?

Xiphoine / Xiphoic

[PT: Xiphoine / Xiphoic]

Xiphoine / Xiphoic, In which one's xeninity and experience with it is integral to their queerness and identity, and vice versa; both shape and complete each other. It may refer to presentation, gender, or any other form of xeninity, and you don't need to consider yourself 'fully' xenine to use it.

This term is under the Möbius Label Umbrella! (Simlar to, Tridaine, Archaine, & Javelaine) || Term named after the Xiphos!

[ID: in alt text]

[Tag] @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @liomarchive, @imoga-pride, @the-mogai-archives

DNI is listed within my pinned post. Please go read it before interacting with any part of my content. Ask to tag.

Apora-X specific labels 

Apora-X = Aporagender that either has an attachment to a non-aporine gender quality or is aporagender and cross-aligned

cross aligned = having a gender alignment that doesn’t match up with your gender; like a feminine aligned man

Disconnect Are you disconnected with any particular aspect of your identity?

I know nothing about disconnect <- the disconnected-from-reality-in-several-levels guy.

Jokes aside, this is actually a tricky question for me. I’ll try to answer it in a few parts.

I have a hard time connecting with my transness, but not for the reasons you may be thinking. I see it in a way I’ve never seen other people fully grasp or consider, despite discussing this with other queer folks of different identities. So, to put it simply: I am trans because I am nonbinary. I’m not transgender as an identity on itself, as a standalone. I’m nonbinary first, and consider myself trans because I’m cisn’t. I wasn’t born who I am right now so I’ve transitioned, but I’m ME first and foremost. Not being cis is deeply important to me and being part of the trans umbrella is something I revindicate every day of my life. I however have a hard time considering myself Just Trans. Several parts of my identity are not trans nor cis, are technically cis, or don’t fit usual modalities. To me, the way I’m trans is more important over being trans. Therefore, I’ve always had conflicting feelings about it.

I feel a certain disconnect with my amorous identity as well. I’m Ambiamorous, yet I’ve never been in any configuration of a poly relationship. I know for a fact I’d be happy and content in one, and I’ve discussed it with my mono partners before, but it’s just hasn’t come to fruition. And that’s fine of course ! I’m in a closed mono alterous relationship as of the writing of this post, and I’m not actively interested in dating* other people aside from my boyfriend**. Sometimes I feel like I should though, like we should open the relationship or find other people we could date at the same time simply because it’s something I would like. But I don’t… I don’t feel like it right now, simple as that. We had talked at length about these topics with him, and I can assure you he’s completely alright with the idea; we’re both open to, well, opening or expanding the relationship anytime. He, however, isn’t interested either. No one is forcing anyone to do anything and YET I feel like I’m a fraud for not having a high enough polystic drive to consider myself part of the non-monogamous umbrella. I wish I could talk to more poly folk about this but I don’t know many if any… It’s pretty isolating…

To end on a less confusing and sad-tinted note, I’ve been reevaluating my xeninity. I’ve felt disconnected from my xenogender identity for a long time, to the point it feels like I’m fully opening my heart to it this past year. When I was younger I could not for the life of me understand xenogenders yet I never bashed them nor hated them publicly ever, and funnily enough they were instrumental in my journey of self-discovery. My connection to xeninity has always oscillated, but it feels like no matter what I do or how far I am in my transition I’m always deeply drawn to it. I’m aware a big part of it – my wariness and uncertainty approaching this part of me – stems from internalized xenicphobia / antixeninity, but I’m slowly yet surely bridging the gap, extending an olive branch to myself. That’s what matters the most I think.

* I use “date” to refer to any other kind of Serious Relationship, but it can be any kind of any type of attraction, like a QPR for example /info

** he’s ace, bisexual, and we’re T4T, he’s NOTTTT a cishet man and if you assumed otherwise I’m judging you /hj /lh

I like to think of it as a sort of abinarine, or aporine or xenine type of masculinity, something like that.

i think overall my xenic identity heavily effects my masculinity.

i will say i think my mascness is more of an internal sense of identity ( or at least especially). cause regarding how i want to present, its mainly xenine, like i base it off themes or like if i want to present in a way based off/connected to my current kin and stuff.

i have a weird thing regarding femininity, i know people would probably say i am feminine based on how i want to present or already present at times (which frustrates me a lot, especially cuz a lot of my kins wear outfits that would be considered fem, and i want to wear stuff like that cuz of the style/vibe)

it's kinda funny though, despite the fact the idea of being seen as fem makes me very uncomfy (dysohoria and all that). if its in the context of also being masculine, or being "feminine in a boy way" it oddly gives me strong boost of euphoria.

ATTRACTION TO NEUTRAL, ANDROGYNOUS OR XENINE PRESENTATION

neusexual︰an individual who is exclusively attracted to individuals with neutral genders or neutral gender presentations regardless of gender identity.

nin-︰the attraction to those who are neutral, non-binary, or null in nature (NIN) in their gender and/or their presentation.

andrsexual︰the attraction to individuals with an androgynous gender presentation, regardless of actual gender identity.

linsexual︰the attraction to those who are androgynous in nature (LIN) either in their gender and/or their gender presentation.

xensexual︰the attraction to people with a xenine gender presentation, regardless of actual gender.

xinsexual︰the attraction to those who are xenine in nature (XIN) or are xenogender.

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