May 4
Out beyond ideas
Of wrongdoing and rightdoing
There is a field.
I will meet you there.
Rumi
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Out beyond ideas
Of wrongdoing and rightdoing
There is a field.
I will meet you there.
Rumi
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We sometimes do things that are wrong and harmful. We do these things not because we are lacking in knowledge or intelligence, or because we are especially malicious or evil. The real problem is that we are lacking in awareness. We cannot see the reality of our experience, and so we cannot act well.
We see instead a world of distinctions, where everything is divided up into neat categories. And we are divided too, not just from other people, but also within ourselves. We want to think we are one person but we are many, with parts for each of our desires, aversions, and beliefs. Our parts are in perpetual conflict, each fighting for dominance over the others. We simultaneously want to get everything we desire, escape from everything we hate, and confirm all of our beliefs.
When we act wrongly we are not oblivious to what is happening. Deep down we sense that what we are doing is wrong, but this intuition is suppressed. It is suppressed by our attachment to the things we want, hate, and believe, which dangerously narrows our attention.
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Do good to the one who wrongs you and you will make God your friend.
Speak no evil of your enemy to anyone. Accustom yourself to love, to purity, to patience, to self-control, and to things such as these. For this is the knowledge of God: to follow Him with humility and through such means.
-Saint Anthony the Great
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there"
"We deserve to have our wrongdoing represented as much as our heroism, because when we refuse wrongdoing as a possibility for a group of people, we refuse their humanity.”
Carmen Maria Machado “In the Dream House”
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It can be difficult to connect with someone who is only ever remorseful about things once you have pointed out their wrongdoing to them. Even then, it was akin to pulling teeth.
It can be hard to trust someone who each time you bring awareness to their actions, they immediately jump to shifting the blame, becoming defensive, or throwing the problem back onto you.
Relationships like this will drain you. They will begin to hurt you more and more over time. Each time you bring something to their attention only for it to be denied, deflected, or avoided, your heart will break. A thousand heartbreaks will eventually add up to resentment. You tell yourself that you don't want to give up on this person, but this dynamic is not healthy for you.
The ancestral home (…) may be haunted by literal or figurative ghosts and often contains physical evidence of past misdeeds or tragedies.
—The Gothic Library
