#remorse

Carlos Schwabe (1866–1926), Remords posthumes, c. 1900

“when thou wilt sleep, dark girl of shadowy gaze, down in the cold black marble of a tomb, a dripping vault thine only tiring-room, thine only bed a grave where all decays. . .”

These prompts are about the anger people won't admit they're carrying. The grudges they pretend they're over. The passive-aggressive poison they keep swallowing.

⭒ "You say you forgave them, but you bring it up every chance you get."

⭒ "Stop pretending you're over it when you're clearly keeping score."

⭒ "You're not protecting the relationship. You're just hoarding ammunition."

⭒ "How long are you planning to punish them for something you claim not to care about?"

⭒ "You can't say it doesn't matter and then use it as a weapon every time you're losing."

⭒ "You're not being the bigger person. You're just being silently vicious."

⭒ "At some point, holding the grudge hurts you more than it hurts them."

⭒ "You keep saying you're fine, but your tone says you've been taking notes."

⭒ "Stop acting like you don't remember when you've clearly memorized the date."

⭒ "You're not letting it go. You're just burying it until the next fight."

⭒ "How many times are you going to rehash something you swore you were past?"

⭒ "You say it's water under the bridge, but you're still drowning in it."

⭒ "You can't claim you've moved on while you're still living in the wound."

⭒ "Stop keeping a mental list of every time they've failed you and calling it self-awareness."

⭒ "You're not protecting yourself. You're just poisoning the well."

⭒ "You act like forgiveness, but you move like revenge."

⭒ "If you've really let it go, why does it show up in every argument?"

⭒ "You're not asking for an apology. You're asking for blood."

⭒ "How much longer are you going to make them pay for something they can't undo?"

⭒ "You keep reopening the wound and then wondering why it won't heal."

⭒ "Stop using the past as a crowbar every time you want to win."

⭒ "You're not reminding them. You're punishing them on a payment plan."

⭒ "You say you don't hold grudges, but you're writing a sequel to every slight."

⭒ "You can't build a future on a foundation made of receipts."

⭒ "You're not being cautious. You're being cruel in slow motion."

We give ourselves over to those who can't fully receive us.

Sometimes, we think we're doing them a favor by continuing to give, not realizing that they don't have the tools necessary to handle what we are in their lives.

Or, they may just be completely ambivalent to your presence.

Whatever the case, this is not right for us in the long run. Eventually, we can begin to feel as though we are not enough despite truly knowing what all we bring to the table.

Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower.

{as always this is just my experience with my own disorders that stop me from being able to feel guilt or remorse}

generally speaking, i do view apologising to be pointless because i view things i do in two categories, those are the things i meant to do and the things i have done accidentally. both come with their own reasons as to why i think apologies aren’t helpful, these are as follows:

things i intentionally did - as far as i see it, if i meant to do it then why would i apologise? i did it knowingly, willingly and intentionally so an apology doesn’t really have any use because i’m obviously not sorry for doing what i wanted to do.

things i did by accident - if i didn’t mean to do something then why should i apologise? i wasn’t trying to hurt you so technically no one is at fault and therefore no apology should be socially necessary.

i understand this may not make a whole lot of sense since my reasoning for not apologising in the second point does imply that there is need for an apology in the first, however i just don’t view apologies as necessary at all.

this is further amplified by the fact that most people apologise out of feeling guilty or remorseful about their actions, which are things i’m not capable of experiencing so i have no drive to say ‘sorry’ in that sense either.

so why do i apologise when i upset someone i care for?

this is simply because i’ve come to realise that just because the way i operate doesn’t align with the ‘normal’ use for an apology, doesn’t mean that i can’t use it in a way that makes sense to me.

i only use it when i believe i’ve accidentally inflicted hurt or upset onto someone i care for (mostly just my FP/EP if i’m being honest), therefore i will never apologise for anything that i’ve intended to do. when i apologise for any accidental harm i’ve caused, i use it as more of an acknowledgment that i’ve done something wrong and i didn’t mean to rather than as any sort of expression of guilt or remorse, etc.

i use it as both a way of just fitting in i suppose since it is the social norm to use it, but mostly just as a way of going ‘ok yeh, didn’t mean to do that’. just because i can’t feel any strong emotion towards it, other than my crippling anxiety about abandonment towards my FP/EP, doesn’t mean it isn’t genuine. it just means something different to me.

PT: 1221: Fluctuating remorse /end PT

DEFINITION ⦂⠀Someone who feels a fluctuating amount of remorse; an emotional feeling of upset toward what has transpired, because of one causing, or taking part in it. This may or may not be conditional, due to being fluctuating.

PT: Definition: Someone who feels a fluctuating amount of remorse; an emotional feeling of upset toward what has transpired, because of one causing, or taking part in it. This may or may not be conditional, due to being fluctuating. /end PT

ADDITIONAL ⦂⠀Coined on the 27th of May, 2026.

PT: Additional: Coined on the 27th of May, 2026. /end PT

TAGGING ⦂⠀@c1rcus-of-silliness @dearestchild @goregender @radiomogai