Some Days… I want to make a difference in the lives of my patients, I want to make a difference in nursing. When Burnout Hits….All I want is to make it through the day. Some Days….I am entirely grateful to be doing what I love. When Burnout Hits...I am entirely sure there’s another career out there for me that doesn’t have this intense level of responsibility. Some Days….I am thankful for the co-workers, doctors, and every team member in healthcare who makes this job worth it. When Burnout Hits….I am tired of all the tempers, aggression and people displacing their anger in the heightened state of duty, obligation and liability that comes with a licensed professional position. I am tired. Some Days...I am devastated by the loss, grief, and death I’ve witnessed in one shift, in a culmination of shifts. I am devastated beyond comprehension, and cry a world of tears no one will see. When Burnout Hits….I am in a void. I am on autopilot during a code. I am lost in an abyss of mechanics as I perform my duties in an almost anesthetized state. Some Days….I am tolerant of all the complaints When Burnout Hits...I am intolerant of it all, especially intolerant of myself. Some Days….I am appreciative of what I learn, what I want to learn, and what’s ahead in the world of science and healthcare. When Burnout Hits….It all melds together into monotony, what’s ahead doesn’t matter. What’s in front of me doesn’t excite me. Some Days….I am a teacher, a mentor, a guide, an advocate, a leader. When Burnout Hits….I am treading water. I have nothing valuable to say, I have nothing articulate to contribute, I have nothing of worth to add, I am lost. Burnout….doesn’t mean I don’t care, Burnout….doesn’t mean I am incapable of emotion, Burnout….doesn’t mean I won’t cry in frustration Burnout ….doesn’t mean I am unable to understand another’s point of view. Burnout….doesn’t mean my empathy is switched off Burnout…..doesn’t mean I am a failure in life Burnout….doesn’t mean I won’t paste a smile on my face, and convince the world I am fine Burnout...doesn’t mean I can’t resurface and appreciate the little things that keep me going.
