#tw implied programming

When I hear the smallest phrase in a song and suddenly my body goes still and I am not allowed to move for hours and the day passes me by as I am unable to control my own muscles and I await the unwanted feeling of hands 'ravaging' my body that had never once been pure

Going through things knowing you'll never fully process nor get justice for them feels so... odd. I suppose one of the reasons a lot of us can understand when people don't believe what we went through was real is simply because it's hard to fully accept for us as well. We're lucky to have even gotten out of there alive... and sometimes even we can't understand that.