“What are you doing?” Negan’s smooth voice fills my ears.

“Going crazy.” I say smiling at him continuing my dancing.

“I believe it.” He says chuckling.

“This is a good song.” I say lifting the ipod he gave me. Lucky for me it was full of decent music.

Turning his chair away from his desk he got up and walked to me. Leaning down he takes the ear bud I offer him.

He puts it in his ear just as the second verse of Love You Like A Love Song Baby By Selena Gomez starts. I can’t help but blush realizing how the lyrics seem to fit my thoughts for Negan. He got under my skin in a good way. I don’t know how to explain it but he did.

“Not bad angel but it’s not really my type of music.” He says but not moving. Leaving us very close.

His hand was next to my thigh on the bed making him lean over me. His face only a few inches from mine the ear bud still placed in his ear as Criminal by Britney Spears started. He licks his bottom lip my eyes jumping to the movement. Reaching up he grabs my chin tilting my head back slightly. My heart speeds up and my hands get sweaty just as his mouth hovers over mine. In just a moment I would be kissing Negan but something in the back of my head makes me pull back. I didn’t want to be used or become a wife I couldn’t let myself get wrapped up in this, in him.

“Calendars.” I say earning a confused look from him as I break the silence ruining the moment.

“You asked me what you think would help things run smoother. Calendars. I made one for Rick’s wife back at the prison to keep track of stuff. I think if everyone had calendars we could keep track of what day we got a shipment in from one week to the next. Plus it would help with how people feel. They could feel more in control. Have birthdays or holidays even.”

“And how would we make them?” He asks moving to sit on the couch.

“That’s simple. At the prison I did it on one of the walls. I used a checkered blanket and a different pins to mark days and what day it was. But if you wanted to mass produce them we could make block calendars. A bit of paint and one bored could make a large amount easily.”

“And what year do you think we are in? Let alone the mouth.”

“Who says we have to do it the way things was before? Each season is roughly ninety days. So we give them two blocks to show days one threw ninety and another block for the season. Make sure everyone knows what day it is to write on their reports.”

“You think this will work?”

“I do.”

“How will we know when it’s the next season?”

“The plants around us tell, stars only some constellations are out in certain seasons. The weather. It’s not perfect but it’s something to get back to.”

“Damn darlin’ you really are something else. You write me down a plan I can give to the workers and I’ll be sure it’s done.” He says smiling.

“Okay.” I say happy Negan liked my plan.

“Now how about we finish this up?”

I nod and look back at the mess on the bed.

I don’t have time really pick back up where I started when a knock comes from the door.

“Come in.” Negan says taking his glasses off.

He always did that making me wonder if he didn’t want people to see him with them on.

The door opened revealing Frankie holding a basket.

“Am I interrupting?” She asks looking at me.

“Oh umm no sorry was just trying to help out.” I say feeling embarrassed.

Even though I knew me and Negan isn't anything I still felt like I was the one in the wrong when one of the wives caught me with him.

“I’ll clean up and be out of your hair.” I say as Frankie sets the basket down.

“What brings you here?” Negan asks standing up and walking to her.

“It’s our day to have lunch together remember?” She says it easy to pick up on her annoyed tone.

I quickly stack the notebooks and move to set them on Negan’s desk. I place the Ipod on the top and start heading towards the door.

“Angel.” Negan says making me stop and look at him.

I stand there as he picks up the ipod and hands it to me.

“This is a gift. You are meant to take it with you. Not unless you don’t like it. Is that it?” He says leaning down getting close to me.

Meeting Frankie’s eyes It hard to read what she is feeling or thinking but I doubt she happy about Negan giving me gifts.

“No I love it. Thank you.” I say blushing.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes.” I say Negan’s eyes making my whole body warm. I felt like we were having a secret conversation only problem I didn’t know the code to understand what he was saying.

“Good. Have a good day Y/N.”

Nodding I quickly leave the room feeling confused and horny. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I head to one of the mess halls.

I haven't seen Mark in days I didn’t know what Negan said to him but he was keeping his distance. I felt more normal then I have in a while.

Closing my eyes I roll my neck it sore. Being bent over papers would do that to you.

When I bumped into someone I let out a noise when I hit the floor.

“Your still here?” Asks a voice I've only heard of a few times since I been here.

I look up seeing Dwight.

“Yeah? Why would I leave?”

“I guessed when the rat left he would have taken you. I guess he didn’t think much of you?”

“What are you talking?” I ask standing up.

“Daryl left or did Negan not tell you that?”

Feeling upset I try to walk around him feeling guilty for not thinking about Daryl.

“You can run from me but you can run away from the truth. Your just a lay to Negan nothing more. Your a whore.”

I stop in my tracks that word always getting to me. My parents called me that when I got pregnant. The Governor called me that as he rapped me. I would be damned before I let another man call me that again.

“I’m a whore?” I ask turning to face him.

“Funny you say that because last I checked? It was your wife fucking Negan to keep you alive. I work for my points. I don’t lay on my back.” I say my head snapping to the left when he smacks my cheek.

“Don’t talk about her!” He yells pointing at me.

“Don’t say her name again.” He say walking away from me.

It’s not until he is gone do I spit the blood out from where I bit my tongue.

I spend the rest of the day folding clothes it feeling nice to do something I was used to. The past few days cooped up in Negan’s room has made me miss the mindless washing, hanging, folding of laundry.

“Hey Y/N?” Alexia says walking up to me.

“Yes?” I ask looking up at her from sitting next to a bucket of water.

“How about after this you come with me back to my room?”

“I’m flattered but I’m straight.”

“Haha funny. Just because i’m bi don’t mean I want to fuck you.”

“Language.” I say us both laughing.

“No really I bought some wine and I refused to drink alone.”

“Oh I see how it is. You don’t want to sleep with me you just want to get me drunk?”

“Pretty much yeah. Is that a problem?”

“Not if me being a light weight ain't?”

“Nope that means you’ll have fun sooner.”

“Alright sounds good. Just come get me when your ready.”

“You got it.”

It’s sun down when I finish my last load. I walk into the shed fully aware the way I tense up and look around my shoulder the whole time I’m in there. I try to ignore the stain on the floor or the way my skin crawls. The feeling of Nick grinding on me fresh in my mind. That something I didn’t have with the Governor after that day I never had to go back to that place. I don’t know why Rick decided to burn it down but I was thankful I couldn’t go back. I would take only one place making me feel this way thank you.

“Hey.” I jump at the voice making me spin to face the door. Alexia standing there.

“You okay?”

“Fine. Ready to go?”

“You betcha.” She says swinging her arm and grinning making me roll my eyes and laugh.

I follow her to her room making me realize it’s only a hallway away from mine.

“Are we having a sleepover?” I ask when I walk in snacks and bottles of water sitting on the table.

“Yes and we can like talk about our crushes and braid each others hair.” She says making me laugh.

“No I figured we could relax tonight. Have a brake.”

“Your not dying are you?”

“No! What I can’t hang out with my best friend?”

“Aww I’m your best friend I’m gonna cry.” I say sitting on her bed holding my chest.

“Oh shut up. Yeah your my best friend the first one got eaten I need a back up.”

“You should get a back up for me just in case.”

“Why you plan on leaving?”

“Well ya know everyone hates me here.”

“No one hates you.” She says handing me a glass of wine and sitting across from me.

“The only people that like me are you and Negan. And I know Negan sees me more as a challenge to get in my pants then the fact he enjoys being around me.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Have you seen his wives? Why would he bother with me?”

“Did you ever think he likes you.”

“Guys like him don’t like girls like me.” I say drinking the sharp liquid running down my throat.

“I think you are wrong about that. Negan doesn't let his wives do half the stuff you do with him”

“I have to work unlike them.”

“Not that. He took you on a run alone. He asks to spend time with you and you don’t have sex and the biggest one of all you sleep in his room.”

“It’s only when-”

“Nope you can’t change my mind. Negan likes you. Probably because your so stubborn.”

“Hey.” I say pushing her arm making he laugh.

“Trust me I've been around Negan long enough to know when he likes someone.”

“Have you had sex with him?” I ask curious and nervous at her answer.

Was I jealous about the thought of her sleeping with him?

“Eww no I’m not into the whole older man thing.”

“You act like he’s eighty.”

“Hey you do you. I’m just saying I like em more my age.”

I roll my eyes and sip at my drink.

“It’s weird huh? We don’t really know how old we are. I mean not really.”

“Yeah but I never liked my birthday.” I say earning a weird look.

“How could you not like your birthday?”

“It was just another day that proved my parents liked me when eyes were looking but the rest of the time I was shipped off with a nanny or after I got older left alone. I don’t know. I messed up childhood. Being rich ain't what most people think.”

“Wow I see it now.”

“What?” I ask looking at her taking a drink.

“Well we all know about Negan being crazy but your messed up too. Your both so fucked up you have to go together. There is no one else to match you with.”

“Match me with? What are you saying Negan is my one and only?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Besides your eye color and cute nose missed with his dark hared would make the cutest babies.”

Laughing I shake my head.

“I think your drunk.”

“Oh my gosh I have an idea.”

“Do tell.” I say finishing my drink and getting up to pour me another.

“You know about the bar here right?”

“There is a bar?”

“Yeah a lot of guys go there in the evenings to wind down. I say we get changed and go there and get us a nice body to lay with tonight.”

“Okay that sounded gross and I’m not really up to sleeping with a stranger tonight. I umm….”

“Oh right... “ She says biting her lip.

“Hey don’t worry about it. It sounds fun.” I say trying not to kill the night.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I can be your wing man, or woman.” I say laughing.

“Awesome. Let's get ready!” She says grinning.