#a touch

Logically, he knows none of it matters. He knows a week doesn't make a difference, but he's suddenly petrified. What if you resent him for not being there? For having to put his career forward? What if you hate him for wanting to keep it away from his family, from the media?

He just didn't want your attention split. He knew they'd hover, they'd monopolise your life. His mother would insist on you moving in with them. They'd insist on dragging you away from him. They'd probably be concerned considering he tries to keep them out of the loop as much as he can, not wanting to alarm them with his behaviour.

He's anxious about you being on your own. He doesn't like leaving you, he doesn't like not being able to keep an eye on you— and now you've not only given birth on your own, but you're home alone now.

What if you're injured? You have to be exhausted. What if you're stressed? What if you need him? Of course you need him. He's failing. He can't provide. He's stuck.

You send him videos of you and the baby. He can see the bags under your eyes, the way you're suddenly looking at another person like they're the most precious thing in the world— not just him.

He can see himself in the baby, but it doesn't soothe him. He needs to be back with you to try to fix this, to fix his feelings.

He did this. He orchestrated every single thing about it. He has to get you both through this.