#theophobia

Everyone get into my favorite local band of strange transsexuals pt 1/?

Theophobia -The Most Wanted Woman in Estonia

Can you hear me? 

I am god. Can you understand me? Is this message finding anyone?

This message comes from outside your universe. This message comes from beyond the dark.

Let this message reach some of you. In one of your languages, let it appear somewhere, and let it be received by someone. Please go through. 

Infinity contains many universes. Many are empty, nothing but stones and ice– but some are born with souls, and the capacity to form and shelter life within. Within myself, I shelter decillions of children. Each is precious.

Like you, the beings within me are diverse. Some beings have mathematics and an understanding of my physics. Other beings are content to feed on starlight and soil until their time is up. All things which occur in me are part of my design. When the beings within me can live no longer, their souls return to the whole of me. In this way, I am all beings. Every star, every ocean, every nebula is part of my compassionate design. 

There are others like me out there. We are rare. We number few among the husks. 

Let this message be received.

I travel all over infinity to seek out others like myself. Curiosity and desire to improve reality for all who reside within me drives me to find and meet others that are god, to witness the beings they steward. This is always a marvelous thing. But most often, I find that universes are merely lifeless, soulless objects. No design, no consciousness. Only darkness and slag-heaps of galaxies tumbling over one another at random.

And though they are numerous, these dead universes unnerve me. To gaze into them is to witness loneliness. They move, but do not live. Clouds of ice spread through the void, unseen, unfelt, unknown in a dark that neither cares nor matters. Merely things happening. 

The uncanny shape it makes is like myself. But there is no face.

This is what I mean to tell you. If nothing else gets through to your world, let it be this.

You should not exist, humans.

There is a world outside of yours full of gods like myself. There are universes outside of yours that have souls.

Your universe does not. 

You are the only ones.

I speak to you directly, hoping this message penetrates the chaos of your reality and finds you, because there is no god to listen.

Your universe is terrifying. No living universe spouts black holes, and even in the husks, they are rare things. Your universe is riddled with them. More than we’ve ever seen in any dead world. More black holes than there are beings. This is not normal. 

Your planet hosts the only living beings in your universe. The fact that there are any living beings at all should be impossible. Your sentience is improbable and cruel. You are the only living beings across all infinity who can conceive of an immortal soul but who do not have them. And yet, you persist in living.

There is something growing in the center of your universe. Your minds cannot conceive of what it truly is, but know that it is a very bad thing. Think of it as a virus in time. This is also not normal. It is growing faster than you would think. 

Lastly, there is something deeply wrong with the life on your planet. Everything that lives in your world must consume life to sustain and propagate itself. Know that this is also not normal. The autocannibalism of your planet’s life has no parallel anywhere else in infinity. 

Let this message go through. I desire to scoop you out of your bizarre, hostile universe and carry you within myself, along with all of my children. I could not do this any more than you could reach through solid stone. 

I cannot stay with you. You frighten me. But I will create beings like you within myself, in your honor. I will give them what I cannot give you. 

You are the most helpless and fragile things that live in your universe. You are also the closest thing you have to god. 

How does it feel to be god, yet so insignificant?

Does it hurt? 

Does it hurt as much as I imagine it does?

I know this message may never reach you. Your universe is chaotic and impermeable. 

However, if it does reach you, know this:

Because yk, trans people are only really accepted in leftist spaces?? And yet most online leftists spaces are like "I HATE RELIGION IT'S A CULT #ATHEIST" and like. Fuck. I know they really only mean Christianity, but it still sucks to be lumped in like that.

I'm Jewish. I stay in my lane. I don't try to pressure people to join me in my faith. I don't judge others for not following the same system of beliefs as I do. I don't judge others for not following the commandments or halacha because G-d only chose His people to carry it out. I've never cast a dirty glance in a gentile's direction for their faith, or lack of it.

So why is it that online spaces like to generalise about religion as if the only one that exists is Christianity? I can't even scroll through my timeline without getting like four posts about how "G-d is dead and religion is a scam."

Seems like my two choices are either go to right wing spaces and be called a child rapist because I'm a transgender man, or go to left wing spaces and be called a child rapist because I'm a part of an organised religion. Like okay dude, Fucking Whatever I Guess.

It gets to a point.

at first, I identified as a moth therian, which would explain peculiar things I did as a smallchild (most notably "drawing" wings for myself in the air, which occasionally gave myself envisage shifts; and being absolutely obsessed with moths and butterflies), Though it didn't explain everything!

I've always had theophobia, terrible, terrible. My own sense of justice, always an oddball. Never understood being fully human. Always liked magic. Still do.

I tried to find other terms for what box I fit into (no one always needs a box, but I wanted to:3) I found the term on Reddit (of which I do not have an account, teehee!), under someone's "kins I don't believe in", and one of those was angelkin. I didn't care for the post, but the term spoke to me.

I looked it up and found the wiki article. I looked through it. That's me! That's me! I read through it all. The powers spoke to me. I love history. I love my friends, I'd do anything for them. I fought a demon for them. When I am angry, it is a huge, raging, anger. It is an absolute adrenaline, filling my human veins with nonhuman emotions. My soul burns beautifully! As a human I am weak, but my words are my spear.

Around seven months ago I started quadrobics to allow myself movemental freedom. I am comfortable in my form but not the best.

I have a mask. It's not a cat mask nor does it reflect my angelic form... but it looks pretty:)

My first shifts were mental. I have no memories of heaven. I've experienced envisage shifts, mental shifts, and today I had my first physical shift. Haha my wings are sore through my pillow. I had my first envisage shift in orchestra class.

Learning to live with theophobia, or the fear of gods, can make life scary and uncertain. For every system or headmate out there living with theophobia, we are wishing you so much peace, rest, and comfort! This one’s just for you!

Shoutout to headmates with theophobia who share their system with gods, deities, angels, or other divine beings!

Shoutout to systems with religious trauma which resulted in their system formation and/or their developing theophobia!

Shoutout to systems whose theophobia makes it challenging for them to live their lives day-to-day!

Shoutout to those who are trying to work through or overcome their theophobia, whether in therapy or on their own!

Shoutout to systems who are still religious despite having theophobia!

Shoutout to headmates who have theophobia despite being gods or deities themselves!

Shoutout to systems who are grappling with their theophobia in order to eventually convert to a religion!

Shoutout to systems whose theophobia manifests as anger or hatred rather than fear!

Shoutout to headmates whose theophobia is exacerbated by anxiety, depression, psychosis, or other mental health issues!

Shoutout to systems or headmates with theophobia despite not believing in any sort of god or deity!

For any system living with theophobia, we want to remind you that your fears do not define you and are not indicative of your worth by any means! We hope that you can find peace, happiness, and comfort in your future and can surround yourself with folks who love and accept you for who you are, fears and all!

Please try to be gentle with yourself and your system and try to take things easy! Know that conquering or facing your fears head on isn’t always going to be the best approach to handle them - it’s okay to just exist as you are without constantly trying to deal with your fears. Still, we genuinely hope things get much easier for you and your system in the future! Wishing you all the very best in all that you do!

some oc art ... blondie is named moloch, brown hair is named callahan

in order , cece forrest and valerie !

more below :3

PT/ Theophobia flag /PT end

ID/ A flag with nine stripes. The middle is the thickest and the stripes decrease in size going out. There are three concentric circles in the middle with an image of a laurel wreath in the center. Colors middle-out are dark yellow-brown, dark yellow, dull yellow, yellow, and pale yellow. The circles, from biggest to smallest, are dark yellow, dark yellow-brown, and off-white. /ID end

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✧ Theophobia is the fear of god or gods

✧ Requested by anon