Feb 10
incest and enmeshment victims/survivors are treated as such complete laughingstocks nobody takes you seriously or even considers your trauma as *trauma*
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incest and enmeshment victims/survivors are treated as such complete laughingstocks nobody takes you seriously or even considers your trauma as *trauma*
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this feels a little too discourse-y for yhis blog but
seeing other trans men or trans masculine people have so little self respect that they diminish, dismiss, or even say their own discrimination and marginalization that we/they face as being ‘not that bad’ and being misdirected from the target of trans women or trans feminine people is disconcerting. this or overgeneralizing their (self-admitted relatively better) white abled middle class life experience onto all other trans men/masculine people
not only is this a lack of self respect, but also a lack of respect for other trans men or mascs as well
it’s always a cracker too like don’t act like you can belittle and dismiss your own oppression and talk over over other men and people of colour you white baby. the audacity is beyond incredible
habitually splitting on ghosting and self isolating from your friends might eventually have bad consequences on your relationships but idk tho
i wish i was a pretty boy but im stuck looking like an ugly girl. i have doubts ill ever be able to transition any time soon because im sheltered + abusive/unsupportive family/ etc. it’s not fairrrrrr
cis people actually don't understand how humiliating it feels to be pre-transition and telling people who (would) alraedy assume you're a girl that you're actually a guy adn want them to use [w/e] pronouns for you when you can't trust that they actually see you that way
like i don't want to have to come out to people when it won't make a difference in how they see me and when i won't feel more comfortable
idkkkkk it feels very isolating but i don't want to have to assert my identity whenever i talk to someone when they are faced with something that would (subconciously or not) change their mind (like eg. my voice) which i'm already dysphoric about ughhhh. this is why i hardly use vc in games or w/e
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it feels weird how apprehension or discomfort to affection like eg. a kiss is met with
“omfg just kiss them” or “look at that face! how could you not!” or “just doo it”
i started feeling so helpless that i can barely make a real effort for people i care about and i don’t even realize and i disappoint them so much hahahaha
i don’t know what can be different i don’t want to hurt people especially i hurt *** so much that’s not fair to *** at all when they try and are good and sweet and i havent reciprocate properly ahaha i keep doing this no one should have come close to me ever
TALK TO ME PAY ATTENTION TO ME omgggg ANYTHING
i want you to talk to me but i’m mad at you but im in the wrong because its dumb and immature reasons and i shouldn’t have avoided you in the first place and i should have responded to you in the first place but miss you all the time but i still hurt you annnd i don’t know what to do now!!!!