#speech issues

This has been severely impacting my life because I’m constantly overwhelmed and overstimulated by my own voice and the stress of pushing through my issues. I try to use aac but then get worried that I’m too slow or being “too weird”

I wish verbal speech wasn’t the default. I wish it was seen as normal to use AAC or other forms of communication

I love learning languages, and it's been a passion of mine for my whole life. But now I'm using ser when I should be using estar, and por when I should be using para, and I'm conjugating incorrectly, and my tones are off in Mandarin, and I'm pronouncing ь like ы when I've never done that before. My syntax in ASL is so messed up that I've just completely switched to signed american english.

This is a example if a post ig I don't go back and fix my spelling mittakes. Sometimes itb really bad, someoimrs you can barely tell what what I'm saying. I don't know if has a name, I don't know if it's a neurological disorder. Could it be brain damage from fhe aar attident (car accident) I was in a lew years ago? Could it be just bu brain goes too fast? Who knows

I also have a speaking issue too. By brain constantly forgets, mixes up, or repeats words and sentences. Sometimes it's like a broken record. My family alwahs teases me about it. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes zi just want then to leave me alone

[PT: I can't say "Rs" and there is nothing wrong with how I speak. /End PT].

That isn't to say that I never experience communication issues due to rhotacism (I do, frequently -- oftentimes, I'll spell out the word or rephrase) or that other people with rhotacism (or any other speech difference) don't view their speech as wrong and want to fix it (nor is that wrong). This is, simply, because a person's speech is under the control of the person. If a person wants to work on not stuttering, for example, that's fine. It's their speech. If a person wants to start pronouncing their Rs as Ws or Ls that's also fine, as long as its not in a mocking manner. I've never seen anyone do that, to be fair, but we can imagine a cooler world together. Autonomy regarding one's speech, and largely every aspect of themselves, is important and (should be) unalienable.

When I was in elementary school, it was noted that I still wasn't pronouncing Rs "correctly," whereas the vast majority of my peers who had similarly "failed" to pronounce Rs had learned and worked past that difference. I was put into speech therapy at my school, in order to "correct" this difference.

When you're a kid, oftentimes you sort of just go along with everything. You are taught that what you want doesn't matter. Adults know better. Older folk know better. You will be punished if you don't listen. Not obeying is silly, immature, and stupid. If you disagree, it's because you're too young to understand. The concept is so normalized that it isn't even questioned.

So, I just sort of went along with it. I was being told my speech was wrong by multiple adults, and they told me if I do all of this it'll be fixed. Why question that? When has questioning ever helped me? When has questioning ever resulted in a changed outcome? They wanted me to speak differently. It was a foregone conclusion.

By middle school, however, while my speech certainly was "better," it wasn't "perfect." I still had rhotacism. I still spoke "wrong." It was a bit unusual, but not uncommon, that I hadn't fixed it by middle school. Most people in speech therapy graduate before then. Maybe I didn't put in the effort I needed to? Maybe I wasn't understanding why it was important? Regardless, I guess I was going to have to continue into middle school, even though I was told previously I wouldn't. It upset me, but then again, when did my emotions ever come into play? I am a passive receiver of care. I may as well be a doll.

By 7th grade, I grew frustrated. Being pulled out of my favorite class once a week to go shove some mouthwash-covered plastic that had been in other people's mouths into my mouth in order to do tongue and speech exercises that I've done forever on top of having things explained to me that I could recite in my sleep was annoying, to say the least. I stopped putting in effort. I grew visibly annoyed and defiant. My speech-language pathologist was confused. Don't you want to fix your issue? You used to like this (I didn't. I just have spent my whole life faking every aspect of myself). You're disrespecting me, she said, by not taking this seriously.

They put me in speech therapy again in 8th grade, despite my protests. I thought that if I just sucked it up for another year and played nice, then I could be done with this. My speech-language pathologist congratulated me on being kinder, more responsible. I don't like compliments from authority figures all that much, they feel like being poisoned.

I was right: they didn't put me in speech therapy in high school, despite my speech still not being "perfect." If I hadn't figured it out by now, they said, it was probably not going to happen. I made as much progress as I could. Sometimes people just have something wrong with them, and there is nothing to be done.

I gave a speech in my communications class, senior year of high school. We were supposed to talk about something that set us apart from others. I didn't really know what to say. After all, its hard to know who you are when every aspect of yourself has been shaped, with all your edges filled down.

I chose to talk about the fact I have rhotacism. Later, my teacher told me that she couldn't even tell. I cried when I got home.

When thinking of children's autonomy, it is very easy to scoff at the concept. It is very easy for people to brush it aside. When you are a kid, as previously stated, you don't question your lack of autonomy. You not having any say is normalized. You are used to it. When you are a teenager, you still largely experience this lack of autonomy, but most are given a sliver of it. Besides, children are just so annoying. Your younger brother pissed you off the other day by being too loud. The elementary schooler on the bus argued with you about something you were obviously right about. Obviously, they shouldn't get autonomy. They wouldn't use it right.

When you become a young adult, while you are still denied much autonomy (especially when you are 18 & 19), you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You had to go through all that bullshit, it makes sense that now you get to reap the rewards -- go from the one lacking autonomy, to the one who has it. The idea that children don't get autonomy starts to benefit you even more, you get to be the one that denies their autonomy for your convenience and for your beliefs.

By the time you are firmly into adulthood, the idea that kids don't deserve autonomy has been so ingrained in you that you don't even realize it exists. You have forgotten what it was like to be a kid.

But people don't really want to reckon with that. After all, they had to deal with it, why can't others? They had to deal with it, and now get to be the boot rather than crushed by it, why would they give up that chance? Why would they forgo something that they like. Why would you treat a child as an equal, when not doing so benefits you?

So, when talking about autonomy for children, sometimes you have to start small. Start with something more palatable. Something like "maybe the way I speak should be up to me."

Description:

A retired Tucker and Caboose have a morning makeout session,, that counts as a speech exercise, right??

Or