Aug 6
when i talk more than a few sentences a day my mouth n throat hurtttt 😭
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when i talk more than a few sentences a day my mouth n throat hurtttt 😭
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went to reptile expo!!!! met someone there while look at spiky rollers (& got 4 new ones!!! one of them is also nice visual stim because is really really really bright orange and that color really happy-making, and another has button that really quiet and super buttery smooth to press, not grind against sides like other button-having spiky rollers, and plastic feel nice and soft texture, think is different kind of plastic from other ones. AND ONE OF THEM HAVE WRIST STRAP!!! so can bring it places and use it not hide it away in pocket where forget about it), and did not mask so much of talking problems. let self do more stutter & pause and "bad" grammar instead of try to be Perfect At Talking (which always fail at anyway). and conversation went really really well!! she was super nice :3 think in part because of not mask talk problems, she could tell had more cognitive difficulty than others (including own family......) assume. felt nice to not be scared of say wrong/"weird" thing or be obviously confused, felt nice not have to be perfect at conversation and not get scolded or scoffed at for it. was nice to be talk to in simpler slower words and not have to spend forever try to understand big fast word (and get out own good words at same time)
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Alter/user/system userboxes about struggling with communication.
Credit appreciated, not needed.
I get tired when I speak. I didn't realise how draining it is. But I can't seem to stop at the same time. Fucking hypocrite.
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i think when we do force speech we either have a very aggressive shutdown (where there's no everything) or seemingly nothing happens
but then i notice when i leave whoever's forcing me to speak i can't think on my own
and then it SEEMS fine cause i'm doing the interaction. i can talk to the person and i seem verbal and not incredibly fatigued but it's just taking away my own words
i don't have energy for my own thoughts. and my own opinions and my own ideas cause i spent so much energy masking for this person and i can't exist outside of them
the second we leave i can't think anymore.
Have be force self to talk much less recently- and also not have be able to force speech even if want to- and have notice general word ability has been getting better the less use mouth speech. Word part of brain is less overwhelmed I think, so more energy for writing.
Is exciting, like to write, and this make lot more easy to communicate with it.
But also is scary. Because how much improve when not speak also all go away if do force self to speak at all. And make think about how much better would be at communication if was full time AAC user. Frog want that, but change is scary. How other people react is also scary. Am meet with SLP this summer who say they can help, so will see what they say.
Do any other speech impaired people kinda hate using AAC. Don't get me wrong it's a great tool and I think my boards are cool, but for me personally I find it so clunky and awkward to use that I just opt to not speak most of the time. I'm also constantly getting distracted and forgetting what I want to say in the middle of my sentences, and I loathe the idea of making other people wait for me to finish putting together my sentences.
I've thought about getting a Bluetooth keyboard for my iPad and typing through TD Talk instead, but I also kinda hate Bluetooth accessories because their connections are weak. Makes me wish I could have a tiny laptop for the sole purpose of being an AAC device, is there really nothing like this out there?!
