#semiverbal

a comic about verbal words :3

i ignore everything and everyone if im doing something, even emergencies!

i get frustrated very easily and throw things!

one unmet expectation can send me into a shutdown. if even more happens (which is common) it turns into a meltdown!

i push people and yell when i have meltdowns! i hit myself! i run away!

i cant have my house keys at night because nobody would be awake to catch me if i elope!

i need someone to walk me over every single step for certain tasks!

i cant speak in full sentences like you see here and i take a long time to type them out!

in school i couldnt do any of my assignments because they werent related to my special interest! i needed them modified.

i cant wash dishes by hand but i cant stand dishes that arent squeaky clean (as in, literally squeaks)

im very sensitive to temperature, but can only tell that its upsetting me when im already super super angry!

i cant handle finances on my own!

i cant remember how long ago things were so i need everything to be written down and set on a clock! even eating!

i need someone to give me food so i dont get malnutritioned!

i cant tell directions and get easily disoriented, so even if i have a map i might get lost!

i elope without my walker which means i end up in a lot of pain after!

i cant tell time correctly so i end up super early or super late!

i need my mom to wash my hair for me!

Little nonverbal/semiverbal one, drawing on a little whiteboard.

Taking a while to tap buttons on a text to speech app, asking for juice or cuddles.

Watching cg or friends and just laying over laps and feeling content.

Rambling with markers on paper, babbling with spirals between sentences and cg reading over your shoulder and answering.

Pointing and making noises! Whining or meowing or going babababa or doing the throat raspy thing.

Making little secret gestures with friends or cg so you can communicate easily across rooms or in crowded places.

Stimming by repeatedly tapping the same symbol on text to speech app - meow meow meow meow

Borderline doing pantomimw when not understood immediately and your people slowly getting better and better at knowing what you mean.

People reading to you and you listen and tap things in the book .

Playing videogames with someone and them being okay with you using ingame chat or not talking or pausing the game so you can type or sign or write etc.

Quiet parallel play dates, maybe listening to cds together while doing stuff!

Went to hardware store with caregiver today.

Got paint for living room. To get paint need to have person mix the color. Person was clearly queer and noticed me and caregiver as queer as well, had the "i see I'm among family" type interaction, was lovely

But

During the like. 10 minutes. They did not pay attention to a single thing i said (using AAC obviously). They talked a lot to my caregiver. But. They sure weren't talking to me or acknowledging or responding to a single thing I said even when I thanked them at the end.

And. It sucks that queer moments are ruined by ableism. I still am happy to see someone out and about being queer and having that lovely interaction

But I'd honestly rather interact with a cis-straight person who is communicating with me, than an lgbtqia+/queer person who isn't acknowledging my communication. Like. That's not even a question.

So.

I'm sad, I guess. That's what I have to say. I wish the interaction could have just been good, and not have such a sour center.

I am going to try to allow for the possibility that they just did not hear my AAC. It's possible I guess. It wasn't loud enough that I needed earplugs tho and that is usually the measure of if someone within 3 feet can hear my device at loudest volume! But some people are hard of hearing. So. Trying to give benefit of doubt since it had multiple sounds happening.

(But honestly like. If a person can hear what my caregiver is saying they should be able to hear what my device is saying at same range. They were not speaking loudly! We were so close! The store was was quieter than normal! I wasn't wearing earplugs in a public building that's how quiet!!! (I needed them in parking lot and every store ever more of the time!))

And also this kinda thing happens all the time which is why I am more jumping to sad.

It sucks being ignored.

It sucks not being able to speak.

It sucks not being able to partake in normal conversation when I want to!!!!

what I see most often is one character who can’t speak using ASL and everyone else just… keeps talking. No. No!! You don’t do that!!! Not in real life!!! I mean you can, sure, but it’s rude and also makes it more difficult to communicate! ASL and English are two different languages that are not interchangeable. Switching between those languages constantly is hard, and in a realistic scenario if you tried this it’d just lead to the signer being ignored because talking in a language you know is easier.

it’s also so weird because all these inaccurate fanfics where characters use ASL and not a d/Deaf person in sight? Like. The main group who uses ASL in the real world. The group who ASL is literally made for. Where are they? Where are they in your stories?? It’s not that hard to write a d/Deaf person. They just can’t hear very well. You don’t even have to make it a big plot point just at least put it there, c’mon. (“they’re not deaf in canon!!” bro they aren’t gay either)

and it’s ALSO inaccurate to nonverbal people! Do many nonverbal people use ASL? Yes! But just as many use things like AAC devices to communicate, or can hardly communicate even with them. A nonverbal character is great, but it’s even better to show the breadth of the experience. I wouldn’t be complaining about this if I saw fics where characters actually had AAC devices they used, but if there are any I certainly haven’t found them! It doesn’t even have to be big, you don’t even have to change quotes, just put in the description that they typed it out or something!!

Hell, this isn’t even touching on all the other ableism surrounding these things. Like why do I only ever see fully nonverbal or d/Deaf people, why not semiverbal or hard of hearing?? Why does it seem like when people bring it up it’s always an acquired thing instead of from birth??