my fbi agent:

Send me a trick-or-treat and a character/ship and I’ll write you a fluffy autumn piece or a horribly twisted au! Treat.

Sousuke walked into the apartment and began peeling back his layers. The cold had come early, and though it didn’t bother Sousuke much, he knew that it would have Momo hiding under the covers. He pulled off his sweater, leaving him in a t shirt and jeans, and padded deeper into the apartment.

Sure enough, there was the kotatsu, broken out of its prison in the closet, set up in the exact center of the living room floor. Under the blanket, wrapped up in about three more, was a shock of red hair. Sousuke smiled to himself and strode over to him. He grabbed the bundle of blankets and, with a practiced turn of his wrist, whisked the covers away.

“Hey!” Momo crowed, grabbing at the blankets. “Sousuke-senpai, it’s cold!”

“Here.” Sousuke dropped his sweater on Momo and settled in next to him. Momo cooed happily and tugged the sweater over his head, and immediately Sousuke realized his mistake.

Momo was adorable, in anything. But swimming in Sousuke’s oversized sweater?

Perfection.

“Senpai?” Momo asked as he grabbed the blankets and started wrapping them back around himself. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Momo,” Sousuke said with a smile and a ruffle to Momo’s hair. “Nothing at all.”

Momo stacked his elbows on the table and rested his chin in the sweater-paws that had taken over his hands. “I don’t think it’s nothing,” he said.

“It’s not,” Sousuke found himself admitting.

“Then, what is it?”

“I…”

Sousuke wanted to be brave. He wanted so desperately to tell Momo how he felt, how the sight of him in Sousuke’s sweater made him want to sing. But he couldn’t.

Momo lifted his chin and draped a sweater-paw over Sousuke’s hand, and Sousuke’s heart stuttered in his chest.

“It’s okay, Senpai,” he said softly. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”

HOLD ON LET ME SCREAM FOR FUCKING 10 MINUTES... BECAUSE I DIED BY READING THIS ALONE...

EiRin

♥ He tries to ignore it at first, honestly. I mean... it’s obvious that Rindou likes him and she’s literally hugging his arm so... the boys naturally... would stop, right?

♥ He ends up giving a slight glare at them, but he tries not to be too threatening. HE SMILES AT THEM WHILE GLARING.

♥ They actually back off because oh shit, this man is more dangerous as seconds pass by

SouMomo

♥ YOU DON’T FUCKING MESS WITH SOMEI MY DUDE... But he’s dense as fuck. Watch him not notice at first. He just goes “why are they looking at her?” at first

♥ THEN HE NOTICES THE REASON WHY THEY WERE LOOKING AN HOUR LATER BECAUSE HE JUST DOESN’T G E T I T.

♥ Watch him bring out his sword, everyone iS YEETING AWAY IN FEAR. Momo just wanted to buy fucking macarons.

EtsuNe

♥ HE GETS SO FUCKING PISSED OFF WHEN HE NOTICES. Probably the quickest one to fucking react. Nene just stares at the scene before her.

♥ HE FUCKING YELLS AND CUSSES, AND CURSES THE PERSON AND THE PERSON CAN ONLY RUNAWAY BECAUSE IF THEY FIGHT BACK, THEY’RE GETTING A FIST ON THEIR FACE.

♥ Okay but there are moments when he just pulls her close and kisses her in front of the people because them bitches better know she’s his.

RenMea

♥ He looks at Mea and goes “Shit, here we go again” because man, he KNOWS what’s gonna happen. This happened even before they were dating because she brings him out for shopping a lot.

♥ He lifts up his middle finger at these fucking bitches and be like “Piss off, bitch. This princess is mine.” and he’s obviously pissed. They back out because Rentaro spells out TROUBLE.

♥ Ends up placing his arm around Mea and she actually giggles about this. Some things just never change, huh?

ShiRui

♥ GOD, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LOOK AT SHIGEMICHI’S GIRL?! HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN SHIGEMICHI. HE CAN PUNCH YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL.

♥ he’S GONNA COMMIT ARSON. Okay not really, he just fucking stomps to the people and the pEOPLE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.

So, I've been writing a fanfiction for Free!, set in the second season, and it got really weird. I can't even explain how it happened.

At the beginning it was just a Soumomo fanfic, where Momotaro gets hit by a truck and typical stuff ensues. Like "He's in a coma" or "it's not looking good" and then it was supposed to end with their first kiss and a date.

But somehow during the process of writing the scene where Momo was supposed to get hit by the truck it drifted off. First I thought: "Hmm, this is not dramatic enough. Let's insert Sousuke."

So I did as my mind told me and inserted Sousuke. Momo would then proceed to push him out of the way and get hit by the truck himself.

Then I suddenly thought: "Hey wouldn't it be cool if Momo stopped the truck with his hand?" So as a joke I proceeded to write an alternative scene where he does that and I actually thought it was pretty cool and, hey, maybe I could write this too.

I continued that part, but I had to explain why he can do that. And I really got into it...

In the end I conjured up an AU where there are people that have superhuman strenght, who are referred to as Oni (a japanese word for a demon). They are usually forbidden to participate in normal sports and mostly work as bodyguards, or stuff like that, because they can't really control how much strenght they are using.

Momotaro is an exception, because he is only half an Oni, which means he can control how much strenght he has (measured in percentage). Like that he got into the swimming club at Samezuka (no, he doesn't use it to cheat), so he's keeping it a secret. But then one day there's a young girl who is about to be hit by a truck, so being a good guy for once, Sousuke steps in, but ends up in front of the truck. That's the point where Momo comes and stops that goddamn truck with one arm, but because he is only a half-oni he breaks his arm in the process.

After that he gets tossed out of the swimming team, is accused of cheating and the members of the club (excluding Rin, Ai and Sousuke) start to bully him in school. At some point, it gets really bad, but Momo doesn't fight back and he actually ends up in the hospital with a concussion. This is where Sousuke threatens the club, that if they ever touch him again, he'll make sure they are expelled.

So Rin, Ai and him visit Momo at home. Momo probably told his parents and his elder brother about his giant crush on Sousuke and he thinks, that Sousuke hurt him too, so he puts tabasco in his tea or something. Momo meanwhile has a training match with his father and when they are finished he's bleeding somewhere and Sousuke immediately starts to worry for him, making Seijuro realize, that he's not half bad.

It then ends with a Soumomo kiss.

“Sousuke-senpai~!” Momotarou’s voice rings through the halls of the dorms as he skips through them, holding a bag of tree sap sporting a small, red bow, and a Deep Sea Creature Anglerfish figurine. He’s collected the gifts from Rin and Aiichirou, so now the one that’s left is Sousuke’s. “SOUSUKE-SENPAI!”

His cheerful voice echoes through the hallway as he peeks through each corner, as if Sousuke would’ve been hiding behind a vending machine or inside a trash can.

“Where are you?” Momotarou singsongs, creeping through with a playful grin on his face. “Are you playing hide-and-seek? Or are you waiting to surprise me on my birthday?”

Momotarou crouches down with a mischievous glint in his eyes as he slowly approaches the door of Sousuke’s room, inching ever so slightly to prepare a lunge.

“AHA—“

His face slams against the door when someone throws it open, and a single tear escapes from his eyelid as he topples to the ground, twitching and searing red.

“Momo...!” Sousuke’s eyes widen when he sees Momotarou on the ground in a tangle of limbs, his face throbbing with pain after the blow.

“Sousuke-senpai you’re so mean~!” He whines, instantly recovering just to pout.

“How was I supposed to know you’d be there?” Sousuke mutters, crouching down to push his bangs off his face. “What were you doing there anyways?”

“I was gonna check if you had a special surprise for me!” Momotarou explained, leaning forward without the slightest concern of personal space.

“Surprise? For what?” Sousuke asks, and the look in his eyes is enough proof he isn’t feigning the confusion. But of course, Momotarou is oblivious to this.

“Oh, you know, since today’s a special day,” he continues teasing with a grin, but Sousuke’s confusion only rises, and he tilts his head.

“What happens today? I don’t remember any festival or anything,” Sousuke replied. “Another onsen trip?”

“Come on, Sousuke-senpai! You can’t fool me!” Momotarou presses, leaning even closer until their foreheads touch. He struggles not to laugh at the weird angle of Sousuke’s face.

“Can’t you just tell me already?” Sousuke grunts, tugging him away by his hair. Momotarou winces at the sudden jerk and rubs his head with an accusing look on his face.

“Do you really not know, senpai?” Momotarou asks, eyebrows scrunched as he scrutinizes Sousuke’s indifferent expression. He gasps. “Sousuke-senpai... does that mean... you have no gift?”

“Gift...” Something clicks within his mind. “Is it your birthday?”

Momotarou gasps and his eyes well with tears that spill down his puffed-up cheeks. “You... you forgot?”

Sousuke is startled with the development and tries scrubbing his sleeve against Momotarou’s wet face. “I-I didn’t... I have a gift...!”

“Really?” Momotarou’s expression immediately switches into one of excitement and Sousuke stares at him in disbelief. “Where is it, where is it?”

Momotarou reaches behind him and Sousuke dodges, watching him fall onto the hardwood floor.

“Ouch! Sousuke-senpai, tell me!” Momotarou demands. “A stag beetle stuffed toy? An otter keychain? A sword? What is it what is it what is—“

Sousuke interrupts his chain of words with a sudden kiss, gripping his wrists to keep him in place, but that shouldn’t be much of a problem, since Momotarou is too stunned to even react. Momotarou seems to be in a trance, almost unresponsive to the pair of lips attached to his, but he suddenly kisses back fiercely, almost messily if Sousuke hadn’t been taking the lead.

“That...” Sousuke gasps for air when he pulls away. “That was your birthday gift.”

Momotarou wears an incredulous expression, his jaw hanging loose and unscrewed. Sousuke waves a hand over his face but it still remains motionless.

“Momo?”

“YAHOO!!!!” He pumps his fists in the air with a breathless shout, lunging forward to wrap all his limbs around Sousuke’s body. “I can’t believe I got a kiss! A kiss! From Sousuke-senpai!”

“O-oi... you’re making too much of a big deal about i—mmph!“

Momotarou surges in to kiss him again, but it’s sloppy, all tongue and no lips, and Sousuke refrains from gagging.

“I love you, Sousuke-senpai!” Momotarou exclaims, pressing a fat kiss to his cheek. Sousuke grimaces and buries his mortified expression into Momotarou’s shoulder.