Thinking of that post about nonpartnering aromantic people and the cost of living... for me, as a full-time wheelchair user who needs care, there's a whole other layer to it.
As a wheelchair user, I can not just live in any flat. I need enough space to maneuver my chair, as well as a accessible bathroom, including a grab bar on each side of the toilet and a stepless shower that fits a shower chair. Not to mention the kitchen - if I want any independence in making food for myself, I need to be able to reach not only the fridge but also the cabinets (meaning cabinets at a pedestrian's eye level are a no-go, which consequently means I need a bigger room for the same amount of storage space). If I want to participate in any of the actual cooking, I also need a roll-under stove and sink. That all means I need a bigger flat than a non disabled person, as well as the extra requirements I just mentioned, plus a step-free entrance.
That already excludes most of the more affordable flats - those are often old, small, and at the second or higher floor without a lift. So, just because I'm physically disabled, I need to pay more just to life somewhere. And because I'm nonpartnering(?), I won't have a second person to share these costs with.
However, a lot of living arrangements specifically made for disabled people count on disabled people being not partnered.
An example: I'm trying to move into my first real, own flat in the near future. I recently found an apartment complex that was specifically made for physically disabled people and has always carers present that you can call on whenever you need help with something (on top of the scheduled care you can book separately). This sounds great for me because I don't really need all day one-on-one care, but too much care to just have someone come over two or three times a day. Now, it's still not clear if I'll rent a flat there for a number of different reasons, but if I'll live there, I'll have to be living alone. And not just for a short while - I would need to make some alterations to live there, so it would only be worth it if I live there long-term. Besides, moving out of that flat again into a normal flat without such an on-call carer system in place would mean I'd need more planned care again, and I'd need these additional costs to be covered first.
Similarly, people who are institutionalised or live in group homes are also expected to be single.
I think that captures the kind dichotomy of disabled people's struggles with amatonormativity pretty well. On one hand, we're under even more pressure to partner up than non disabled people. We're expected to find someone to help us cover the extra cost and provide the care we need (all while seen as undesirable in society). This creates a dependency of the disabled partner in regard to the non disabled partner, which can trap the disabled partner in the relationship.
On the other hand, if we need to rely on outside help because we aren't partnered or we need more support than our partner can provide, we are forced into a structure that doesn't have space at all. Suddenly, we're not only exempt from amatonormativity but are actively excluded from taking part in adult dating. (Not to mention that sex with a disability is still a taboo topic, but that would be too much to discuss here.) This does not only make many disabled people unhappy, it also plays a role in our infantilisation and dehumanisation.
We can't win.
