Sans, drunk: So you’re telling me that I, an ordinary man, am married to you, the most beautiful man to walk this earth?
Grillby: First of all, you’re not ordinary. Secondly, yes.
Sans:
Sans: I don’t believe you. I’m not that lucky.

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Sans, drunk: So you’re telling me that I, an ordinary man, am married to you, the most beautiful man to walk this earth?
Grillby: First of all, you’re not ordinary. Secondly, yes.
Sans:
Sans: I don’t believe you. I’m not that lucky.

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Kidnapper: We have your girlfriend.
Maki: I don’t have a girlfriend.
Kidnapper: She made us reevaluate our life choices and now we feel really bad so can you come pick her up?
Maki: Oh my god, you have Kaede!
Kidnapper: I’m going to become a painter after this...
Bad person on the phone: We have your husband Furuichi Sakyo
Izumi: K
Person on the phone: K??
Izumi: Yeah, you don't have him. He has you
*hangs up*
Hiccup: You don’t get out much, do you?
Rapunzel: Eh, Mother’s a bit overprotective. She says I need to wait to see the world till I’m ready for everything, but then she says I’ve got everything I need in here. But one day, I’m gonna see the world. I’m gonna be an explorer! I’m gonna eat a hamburger!
Hiccup: I could just bring you a hamburger.
Rapunzel: You really are my best friend!
Izaya: Dicks are so cute
Shizuo:
Shizuo: What?
Izaya: you know, when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching like its nuzzling you?
Izaya: or when they perk up and look at u like “owo nya :3!”
Izaya: *giggles* penis-kun is happy to see me !!
Shizuo: ...
Shizuo: Your not allowed near mine anymore.
Izaya: Wait Shizu-chan where are you going?

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Midoriya: Kacchan, what's the temperature?
Bakugou, eyeing Todoroki: Higher than your standards for men
Vanitas: Just you wait and see. I’m gonna romance your freakin’ ass off.
Jeanne: That’s beautiful. Is that Shakespeare?
Rise: Let me guess, you and Kanji are having problems? You want me to teach you how to kiss?
Naoto: I know how to kiss. I've read books.