#emotionalintelligence

Kindness does not mean weakness. It means having the self-awareness to know your triggers, the empathy to recognize someone else’s struggle, and the maturity to respond with grace instead of ego.

The world feels lighter when we lead with compassion, listen without judgment, and speak with intention. Every interaction is an opportunity to be the person who brings calm instead of chaos, understanding instead of assumptions, and encouragement instead of criticism.

LOCK IN AND FIGURE YOURSELF OUT

It's so worth it <3

I feel like everyone is talking about all the best ways to improve yourself and make your vision boards, but it is all so fucking overwhelming. You aren't going to get anything done, and that's okay because it's normal to get overwhelmed with how much information there is.

To make things a little easier for you all I've made a little step-by-step guide that is soo easy! All you need for this is somewhere to write stuff down, pinterest, whatever planner you use and some free time.

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PART 1: WHO DO YOU EVEN WANT TO BE?

This is the most important question you need to ask yourself. Who are you trying become? Why are you even doing all this? It's okay if you don't know at first, that's where a lot of self-reflection has to happen. Take your time and really think about all the attributes this person has. Here is a little questionnaire that can get you started!

What kinds of clothes does this person wear?

What is their self-care routine?

What are this person's boundaries?

What kind of food do they eat and what is their relationship with food?

What is their financial situation?

What do they think about themselves?

What do other people think about them?

What are their friendships like?

What are their habits?

Feel free to add your own! If you can't think of any more I definitely recommend pinterest for this one!

Once you know who you want to be, it's time to create some goals. Choose 4 of the attributes you came up with and turn them into SMART goals! SMART goals are an incredible way to think about your goals in a way that actually prepares you to achieve them.

S- Specific: be as absolutely specific about your goal as you can be. Broadness only hurts you in the long run.

M- Measurable: How are you measuring this goal?

A- Acheivable: goals aren't supposed to be easy, but they are supposed to be something you can get to eventually.

R- Relevent: why are you working towards this goal?

T- Time: what is your timeframe for hitting this goal?

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PART 2: PLANNING

Now that you know the habits of the person you want to become, it's time to integrate those habits into your life. This is the time to create a morning and night routine for yourself or plan what day is your no-work day. Here is an example to help you out!

I wake up at 5:45AM every weekday.

As soon as I am up, I go shower and then make myself breakfast

I'm usually done with these things around 6:45AM.

Then I have an hour and 15 minutes to stretch, prepare for my day, drink a lot of water, pray, read, what ever I want really.

Once the clock hits 8, I start slowly getting ready, putting care and intention into everything I do so that I can leave feeling amazing at 8:50.

See how my timeframe for my morning routine is super loose and flexible? Nothing is fixed or on a tight schedule. I'm giving my body enough time to fully wake up and myself to get ready stress free. I think that's something that people struggle with a lot when it comes to routines. You have to give yourself some wiggle room and adapt to your needs.

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PART 3: ACTION

Now it's time to act! Do your morning routines, follow your study schedule! Do it! Something I find that helps me is printing out a bunch of motivation quotes from interest and putting them around my room.

It’s about staying present without losing yourself.

Empathy as a Skill— Staying Present Without Losing Yourself is a free short philosophical guide (with meditations) on building emotional steadiness, clear boundaries, and relational intelligence— in work, love, and everyday life.

Free download includes three empathic-kindness meditations.

There are certain people who enter our life like a shift in temperature or a memory you can’t place. Before you understand it, your entire emotional field rearranges itself around them. Something in you wakes up, something you thought you outgrew or buried or outsmarted. People call them karmic connections, as if karma were the point. But it’s not. Karma is just the door, what you meet inside is yourself.

Every karmic bond I’ve studied and survived has the same pull that feels irrational, a familiarity that doesn’t match the timeline, and a depth that feels too large for two people who barely know each other. But the truth is that they activate the part of you you’ve never let anyone see because your wound recognizes their shape. There is always a recognition of your own unfinished story. Your nervous system reads them before your mind does. It is a mirror with teeth reflecting the longing you’ve rationalized, the fear you’ve intellectualized, the softness you’ve denied. It brings all the hidden architecture of your survival to the surface, exposing the lessons you’ve been living out unconsciously. 

Your shadow steps forward first. The part of you that chases, that clings, that romanticizes unavailability because it mirrors the earliest kind of love you learned to accept. The part of you that calls chaos “chemistry”,  that thinks longing is a soulmate sign instead of an alarm. No one ever talks about the disappointment woven into the bond, the subtle ache, the sense of reaching but never landing. You feel close to them, but never with them. It’s as if something in you is trying to complete a loop that didn’t begin in this relationship, and that’s because it didn’t. These connections don’t come to fulfill you, they come to complete a pattern. They show you the places where your heart is still negotiating, still apologizing, still waiting for someone else to grant it permission to rest. They show you who you abandon, always yourself, always first.

The spiritual world likes to call this “fated.” but I think fate is too romantic a word. This isn’t fate, this is repetition asking to be undone. Karmic connections end the moment you finally see yourself clearly inside them. Not the fantasy, not the possibility, not the illusion of destiny. Yourself. The version of you who keeps choosing the same kind of ache. The version who confuses intensity with intimacy. The version who thinks love must be earned through emotional labor or longing. And once you really see that part, the connection loses its power, the bond loosens, the spell dissolves. You look at the person and realize they were never the answer. The connection was here to transform you, and now you know where.

I’ve noticed that they fall into six types of activation. Each one is defined by what part of you they unlock, what emotional pattern they pull to the surface. 

The Mirror - The Mirror is attractive because they reflect the part of you you've abandoned: your intensity, your desire, your power, your hunger, your fear of being too much or too little. They show you the shape of your emptiness. Loving them feels like looking at your own shadow and calling it a soulmate. The Mirror awakens self-recognition through pain, because you’ve forgotten how to recognize yourself in gentler ways.

The Distortion - The one who makes you lose sight of yourself. Around them, your ur sense of self becomes foggy. You become someone you don’t entirely recognize, half dream, half projection. You love the version of yourself you’re hoping to become through them. The Distortion is karmic because you unconsciously shape-shift to earn connection, a survival pattern you learned long before you knew what love was.

The Interruption - They arrive at the wrong time, in the wrong circumstances, in the wrong emotional climate, yet your whole being rearranges itself around the possibility of them. The Interruption is the karmic force that stops your life’s momentum and makes you question everything: your path, your worth, your desires, your boundaries, your identity. They come to disrupt your story, because something in your story was already misaligned. The Interruption reveals the fracture you were pretending not to feel.

The Unfinished Sentence - The one you can’t let go of because the story never reached a conclusion, a connection that almost became something but stayed suspended in emotional gravity. The Unfinished Sentence is karmic because the lack of closure mirrors an older grief inside you: something you couldn’t complete, save, or fix long before this person arrived. They leave you craving an ending that never belonged to them in the first place.

The Amplifier -  They feel warm, familiar, safe enough, but every insecurity you’ve managed to silence begins to echo louder around them. Your fear of abandonment becomes sharper. Your need for reassurance becomes louder. Your fear of being unchosen becomes overwhelming. The Amplifier is karmic because they trigger the exact emotional frequency you've been trying to outgrow.

The Shadow-Twin - The one who feels like a soulmate carved from darker material. You meet them and sense an immediate recognition, not from love, but from matching wounds. The Shadow-Twin reflects your trauma, your longing, your fantasy. You run toward them because they feel like the version of you that never got to speak. You stay because the pain feels familiar. The Shadow-Twin is the most dangerous karmic bond, because you harm yourself trying to merge with them.