#schnarkos

Pyrrha: I volunteer!

Weiss: Wait, what the fuck do you mean "Abdicated the Throne?"

Jaune: Well, Pyrrha, I appreciate that, but I think it'd bring too much spotlight onto you- you're always complaining about being put on a pedestal, and I don't want to drag you even further away from normal people.

Weiss: No, Seriously, what the fuck did you mean?

Pyrrha: Jaune, I don't want you to be alone either. I'm already your Partner at Beacon, and as such It doesn't seem like a terrible idea. We've already lived some time together.

Weiss: AM I CHOPPED LIVER- *Scroll Rings* Yes, mother, Hello?

Jaune: That ... that means a lot to me, Pyrrha, but it'd also require you to move into my home, with all my sisters - because I'm not going to force them out - and I don't want to steal you away from your family.

Jaune: Not that they couldn't come, of course, but, well, you know.

Weiss: Who's prismeya- ARC?!?- Marry her Son!?! Has the world gone mad- was that Whitley? What'd he say? 'Dibs' The fuck does he mean dibs- No, I have Jaune right here- put Whitley on the Phone!

Pyrrha: It wouldn't be a problem. It's not as if moving to your home would mean we lose our house. I could always visit, anyway. I have the funds.

Weiss: "Finally doing my own thing" shut UP Whitley! No, way, in fact, he's already attempted to court me- it CAN be rectified you little twerp! Listen to this-

Jaune: That's ... not a bad reason ... but I don't want you to feel obligated to do this. I care to much about you to let you tie yourself to me for no reason.

Weiss: Nonononono! I can do this! It's been asked of ME SPECIFICALLY TO FULFILL FOR DUTY AS A SCHNEE AND THE HONOR OF OUR NAME!

Pyrrha: Actually Jaune, there's something I've been meaning to tell you-

Weiss and Pyrrha: Jaune, I'm in love with you!

Weiss: *Looks at Pyrrha, scared*

Pyrrha: *If looks could kill, the Schnees would be six feet under*

Jaune: ... Uh ... W-Well ... *Buzz* ... One moment please-

(Message from: Mom) Hey Sweety! Do mama a favor and marry anyone and everyone you want, Okay? Hugs and Kisses~

Jaune: *taking off his shirt to reveal a severe case of farmer’s tan, complete with obvious t-shirt outline on his skin* Ugh…I have GOT to get better desert clothes and sunscreen. I feel like a dork… 😓

Pyrrha: *gloriously tanned with no visible tan lines* Oh, I don’t know, I think it looks cute on you! Don’t you agree, Weiss?

Jaune: Yang, please don’t-

Yang: Seriously, if anyone here wants to take up my challenge, I’ll pay for the next round!

Pyrrha: If I had a…um…

Pyrrha: …wiener… 🫣

Pyrrha: …Jaune and I would take turns climaxing inside Weiss until her stomach expanded, and then gently shaking her between us to mix it all inside her!

Yang:

Jaune: …I warned you…

Yang: *shakily placing money on the bar* I can’t decide what’s worse, the mental image that I’m going to have every time I see Weiss until the day I die, or the fact that Pyrrha said all of that but is apparently too embarrassed to say the word “dick.”

Jaune: It’s really all a rich tapestry of strange things to say.

Pyrrha: *Freezes*

Pyrrha: *Stares at Weiss*

Weiss: What?

Ruby: What?! C'mon, Weiss~!

Yang: Yeah, stop being such a stickler! Y'know girls who always follow the rules aren't exactly popular, y'know~.

Blake: Odd thing to say, since she has both a boyfriend AND a girlfriend.

Weiss: Excuse me?!

Jaune: You okay, Weiss? Your face is kinda red. Pyrrha, should we get her some water?

Pyrrha: I don't think it would hurt.

I definitely think Schnarkos (Weiss x Jaune x Pyrrha) had a lot of potential in canon! Of course, it is a pretty rare situation in Remnant for poly relationships to form, so it is hard to say if it would ever be canon, but there is the precedent of Tai and Summer and Raven of course from the previous generation. Although it was never confirmed if Tai was with both at any one point in time or Summer just came to love him later. And naturally we know Summer and Raven shared a strong bond as well even if by the end Summer ended up pretty dissatisfied by Raven's behavior. But definitely a very possible poly ship in mind.

Also, in the instance of Schnarkos, I think more so than just Weiss and Jaune forming mutual feelings and Jaune and Pyrrha forming mutual feelings, there is also the question of Weiss and Pyrrha forming canonical mutual feelings as well. Canon leaves a lot of room for interpretation for this particular interaction as well - Ice Queendom practically being a recent goldmine in comparison to how often they actually directly interacted or showed their perspectives on the other in the canon volumes - but Weiss and Pyrrha, like Jaune and Weiss and Pyrrha and Jaune - are fundamentally built to be characters similar in important ways that reflect off each other. Like Jaune and Weiss's focus on legacy or Pyrrha and Weiss's focus on escaping from their confined circumstances.

So I think in terms of possibility just from their base characters, this is absolutely something I could see happening but it would have to be something the three of them would grow into after trials and hardship. And I think that post V3 Weiss is a Weiss who starts to become especially compatible with Pyrrha given how she behaves/what she believes in and that really would be the factor that opens the door here to the true poly.

I could even think of a compelling circumstance that could lead to something like this, such as, say, canon proceeding up to the middle of V3 but Weiss begins to realize she actually had an interest in Jaune and that Jaune was the type of person she always wanted to be with, which brews romantic feelings in her heart. However, she doesn't want to interfere with Pyrrha who she respects as a friend and who is making moves with Jaune in V3. And when Jaune and Pyrrha start dating, she naturally backs down but at the end of V3 rather than die let's say Pyrrha instead loses a limb or two which forces her into recovery in Argus. If you include some additional elements like Jaune feeling a bit betrayed by Pyrrha putting him in the locker (not trusting him) and then Weiss seeing Jaune in a bad state when they meet up in Mistral while feelings swirl about I could see something happen between the three as the conclusion of V6 in Argus to establish a rather compelling poly between the three of them!

(Inspired by "A Wild Bunnygirl Appears" @arc-misadventures)

Pyrrha: This is SO EMBARASSING!!!

Weiss: I know! I know!

Pyrrha: Why did we EVER make that bet with Nora?

Weiss: Because we thought it would be an easy win... who would have thought someone so... so... chaotic would be so skilled at playing Remnant - the Game?

Pyrrha: I don't think I can do this!

Weiss: It's okay, I know how you feel... but she said we only have to wear them, and take one picture of us in them to show her.

Pyrrha: But what if someone sees?

Weiss: No one wi...

CREAK...

Weiss/Pyrrha: NO!

Joan(Jaune): Sorry I forgo... Weiss? Pyrrha?

Weiss/Pyrrha: It's not what it... looks... like?

Joan(Jaune): ...

Weiss: Joan?

Pyrrha: Why... why... are you grinning like that?

Joan(Jaune): I offer thanks to the Brother Gods for the bounty that stands before me...

Pyrrha: *Oiling up a strap-on* It's time for your weekly spitroast~

Weiss: *Internally* LET'S FUCKING GO!