superiorsturgeon

Jaune: *At a fancy restaurant, sitting alone*

Waiter: Here's your meal sir, and the wine you ordered. An excellent vintage, what's the occasion, sir?

Jaune: It's my wife's birthday.

Jaune: *Lifts his glass* Happy birthday, darling.

Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry, has she passed?

Jaune: Oh, no. She's just on a mission and wont be back for another week.

Jaune: I get lonely without her and it was either stay home and cry or go out and do something.

Waiter: ...

*sounds of disturbance in the entryway*

*sounds of disturbance by the hostess podium*

Pyrrha: *bursts through the door, scratched, dirty, and with a Beowulf gnawing on her heel* MADE IT!!! 😫

Waiter: …

Jaune: Pyrrha! I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until next week! *stands up and pulls out her chair* 😃

Pyrrha: *makes her way to Jaune’s table and shakes off the Beowulf* …phew…! I wasn’t sure if I would make it…! 😮‍💨

Pyrrha: I know I said it didn’t bother me to work on my birthday, but I was sitting in camp and thinking about it and making myself more and more sad… 😔

Pyrrha: …and the next thing I knew I had run out of camp and was killing Grimm as fast as I could, trying to do a week’s worth of work all at once!

Pyrrha: *accepts a glass of wine from Jaune* I almost didn’t get here in time! 🍷

Jaune: *turns to waiter* I’d like to order an entire crown roast of lamb and a slice of dark double chocolate cake for my wife, Remnant’s real-life champion speedrunner! 🥰

Pyrrha: 🤤

That girl is down so bad for Yang it's funny seeing her all giggly and stuff in contrast with her broody and antisocial introduction. 😹

Jaune: I have, yeah. But then you have to eat the cookie bare without cream.

Ruby: It's like homework in cookie form.

Jaune: ...Actually, now that I think about it, I did see a complete cream disk sans cookies. Like somebody got rid of the cream and kept the cookies.

Ruby: WHAT?! WHAT?!

Jaune: Crazy, right?

Saphron: *Banging on bathroom door* Oi twerp, you on the toilet in there?

Jaune: *Knitting a brown shirt* No, I'm in the kitchen.

Saphron: Oh. Sorry, twerp. *Walks away*

Jaune: Sure thing... Three, two, one...

Saphron: *From the kitchen* Dang it!

Jaune: ...

Saphron: *Back at bathroom door* You tell noone and I'll keep everyone from putting you in a dress for a week.

Jaune: A month.

Saphron: Two weeks, don't push it.

Jaune: Deal, now let me dump a deuce in peace.

Jaune/Pyrrha: *cuddling* 🥰

Fox: Yuri ships…

Blake/Yang: *making out* 😝

Fox: Yaoi ships…

Oscar/Whitley: *holding hands without protection* 🤝

Fox: I see no difference!