#whiteknight

Pyrrha: I volunteer!

Weiss: Wait, what the fuck do you mean "Abdicated the Throne?"

Jaune: Well, Pyrrha, I appreciate that, but I think it'd bring too much spotlight onto you- you're always complaining about being put on a pedestal, and I don't want to drag you even further away from normal people.

Weiss: No, Seriously, what the fuck did you mean?

Pyrrha: Jaune, I don't want you to be alone either. I'm already your Partner at Beacon, and as such It doesn't seem like a terrible idea. We've already lived some time together.

Weiss: AM I CHOPPED LIVER- *Scroll Rings* Yes, mother, Hello?

Jaune: That ... that means a lot to me, Pyrrha, but it'd also require you to move into my home, with all my sisters - because I'm not going to force them out - and I don't want to steal you away from your family.

Jaune: Not that they couldn't come, of course, but, well, you know.

Weiss: Who's prismeya- ARC?!?- Marry her Son!?! Has the world gone mad- was that Whitley? What'd he say? 'Dibs' The fuck does he mean dibs- No, I have Jaune right here- put Whitley on the Phone!

Pyrrha: It wouldn't be a problem. It's not as if moving to your home would mean we lose our house. I could always visit, anyway. I have the funds.

Weiss: "Finally doing my own thing" shut UP Whitley! No, way, in fact, he's already attempted to court me- it CAN be rectified you little twerp! Listen to this-

Jaune: That's ... not a bad reason ... but I don't want you to feel obligated to do this. I care to much about you to let you tie yourself to me for no reason.

Weiss: Nonononono! I can do this! It's been asked of ME SPECIFICALLY TO FULFILL FOR DUTY AS A SCHNEE AND THE HONOR OF OUR NAME!

Pyrrha: Actually Jaune, there's something I've been meaning to tell you-

Weiss and Pyrrha: Jaune, I'm in love with you!

Weiss: *Looks at Pyrrha, scared*

Pyrrha: *If looks could kill, the Schnees would be six feet under*

Jaune: ... Uh ... W-Well ... *Buzz* ... One moment please-

(Message from: Mom) Hey Sweety! Do mama a favor and marry anyone and everyone you want, Okay? Hugs and Kisses~

Weiss: *Flashes him* You could have just asked to see them.

Jaune:

Weiss: *Looking troubled* Hello, Jaune...

Jaune: Hey Weiss, are you okay?

Weiss: *Blurts out* AmIabadgirlfriend?!

Jaune: Uuuuh... again but slower, please.

Weiss: *Swallows nervously* Am I a bad girlfriend?

Jaune: *Thinking carefully* Are you... seeking validation or a solution?

Weiss: Yes.

Jaune: Riiiiight... what's the thought process here; what makes you think you're failing?

Weiss: I am never at home, always stuck dealing with yet another "pressing matter" or other.

Weiss: We rarely get to talk properly as a result of this.

Weiss: We rarely... get together because of that as well.

Weiss: I am well aware a proper relationship involves a certain give and take. A degree of patience and leniency.

Weiss: Yet I feel more and more like I am taking advantage of both your patience and your leniency whilst not giving you your dues in return.

Jaune: Those dues being...

Weiss: You bending me over my dead father's Vacuan mahogany desk and defiling me in ways that would have Blake blush from the scandal of it all!

Jaune: ...

Weiss: That and just being able to partake in the dinners you so lovingly craft day after day. I do enjoy your homemade meals ever so much.

Jaune: So... like... do you want me to come by the office for a booty call or something? Maybe bring lunch sometimes?

Weiss: Yes! I will have Klein rearrange my schedule, I just need you to rearrange my guts!

Jaune: *taking off his shirt to reveal a severe case of farmer’s tan, complete with obvious t-shirt outline on his skin* Ugh…I have GOT to get better desert clothes and sunscreen. I feel like a dork… 😓

Pyrrha: *gloriously tanned with no visible tan lines* Oh, I don’t know, I think it looks cute on you! Don’t you agree, Weiss?

Ruby: Oh my gosh that was so delicious. My compliments to the chef.

Yang: Chef kisses to the wonderful man that prepared this for us.

Weiss gracefully stands up from the table.

Yang: Umm Weiss, what are you doing?

Weiss: I’m going to thank the chef properly unlike you uncultured individuals. Imma gonna FUCK that chef! My steak was super juicy and my lobster was perfectly butter.